Archie Andrews, a kindergarten teacher and vegan, regularly buys products from Lorraine's vegetarian roadside stand. He is developing an engine powered by wheatgrass, but his experiments prove unsuccessful until he accidentally cuts his finger and blood drips into the wheatgrass. After the mixture reaches the engine, it begins to operate successfully. Archie tests the vehicle and offers a ride to Denise, the owner of a meat stand and Lorraine's business rival. After Denise shows interest in Archie he drives her home but runs out of fuel. Seeking an alternative source of blood, Archie turns to hunting animals; however, their blood supply proves insufficient. He then targets larger prey, then violent criminals, before eventually killing people indiscriminately. The government, having monitored Archie's progress, approaches him after the original Blood Car is destroyed. Federal agents offer him any position he desires in exchange for helping produce additional Blood Cars and agreeing to the erasure of his former identity. When Archie questions the source of fuel for the new vehicles, the agents explain that it will be obtained from people with disabilities, convicted criminals, and homeless people. Archie accepts the offer. The film concludes with images of his rise to the presidency intercut with scenes of government agents murdering Lorraine, Denise, Archie's kindergarten students, and other individuals connected to the development of the Blood Car.

Leon Phelps (also known as the " Ladies Man ") was a Saturday Night Live character played by Tim Meadows during the 1990s. The sketch was that of a broadcast program in which Phelps, a young, suave black man, would give dubious romantic advice and sex tips. The Ladies Man openly proclaimed that he would court any woman at all including skanks, providing the woman weighs no more than 250 pounds. A night of romance would generally revolve around a bottle of Courvoisier. After finally going too far during a broadcast, Leon is fired, but he receives a note from one of his former flames who wants him to come back to her—and is willing to support him in high style. This sounds just fine with Leon, except that the woman didn't sign her name, and now Leon has to backtrack through his numerous conquests of the past and figure out who wants him to work his love magic. Meanwhile, a secret group called the Victims of the Smiling Ass (V.S.A. for short), consisting of the angry husbands and boyfriends whose women have cheated with Leon, have discovered Leon as their target and are now hot on his trail, eager to get revenge.

While hosting a party in his Manhattan penthouse, financial publisher Chris Thorne meets beautiful lawyer Diane Lightson, and agrees to escort her to consult client Howard Suntz in Atlantic City the following day. Two of Chris's clients, boisterous Brazilian billionaire siblings Fausto and Renalda Squiriniszu, overhear Chris planning the road trip with Diane and invite themselves along. During the trip, the Squiriniszus urge Chris to take a scenic detour off the drab New Jersey Turnpike, which ultimately places them in the dilapidated village of Valkenvania. After running a stop sign and subsequently attempting to outrun pursuing chief of police Dennis Valkenheiser, the group is captured and taken before his 106-year-old grandfather, Judge Alvin "J.P." Valkenheiser. At their hearing, Chris's dismissive and disrespectful attitude offends Judge Valkenheiser, and the yuppies are locked in a hidden room under the courthouse to be judged the next day. They later overhear Judge Valkenheiser mercilessly executing a group of convicted drug dealers in a deadly roller coaster nicknamed "Mr. Bonestripper". Invited upstairs for dinner, the quartet learns that Judge Valkenheiser is detaining them due to his deep and longstanding grudge against "bankers", which he considers Chris to be. Judge Valkenheiser explains that in 1917, a financier from New York swindled his grandfather into mining out the town in exchange for shares in the now defunct United Coke Company, subsequently impoverishing both the family and the town. The group attempts an escape, but Judge Valkenheiser's massive mute granddaughter Eldona captures Chris and Diane. The Squiriniszus escape by jumping through a window, and make it to the edge of the property before encountering a waiting Dennis. Noticing that Dennis seems stressed and overworked, the Squiriniszus talk him into abandoning his dead-end life and career by escaping with them. A series of trick hallways and booby traps land Chris and Diane in an attic room filled with IDs and news clippings, where the couple discover that Judge Valkenheiser has been using the house to capture and terminate undesirables—especially bankers—since the 1890s. During another escape down a series of slides, Diane lands in the property's salvage yard, where she meets and befriends Judge Valkenheiser's severely deformed grandchildren Bobo and L'il Debbull, who are barred from living in the house. Chris, still in the house, sneaks into Judge Valkenheiser's bedroom to explore, but Judge Valkenheiser discovers and attacks him. While attempting to flee from Judge Valkenheiser, Chris collides with Eldona. Judge Valkenheiser ceases his attack and declares Chris must marry Eldona per "house policy". Meanwhile, in the court room, the alternative rap group Digital Underground, having been arrested for speeding, is ordered by Judge Valkenheiser to verify their claim of being musicians, which they do with an impromptu performance. Delighted, Judge Valkenheiser acquits the band, but then asks them to stay behind as musicians and witnesses for the wedding. Chris initially cooperates in exchange for his life, but is later caught pleading with the group to help him escape. The band departs without understanding Chris's plight, and an enraged Judge Valkenheiser sentences him to execution via "Mr. Bonestripper". The machine breaks down just before Chris is fed into it, and he escapes unscathed into the junkyard. Judge Valkenheiser attempts to lure Chris by abducting and trapping Diane in another murderous contraption known as the Gradertine, but Chris distracts the Valkenheisers by setting off an explosion, proceeding to retrieve Diane at the last second before the pair escapes the premises via a passing freight train. After Chris and Diane report their ordeal to the authorities, the police prepare a large-scale raid of Judge Valkenheiser's courthouse. Chris and Diane are asked to accompany the police to Valkenvania only to discover that the troopers involved are fully aware of and allied with Judge Valkenheiser due to his ability to swiftly handle undesirables. Just as the combined forces are about to dispatch Chris and Diane for knowing too much, the massive underground coal fires roar out of control, finally destroying the courthouse, and the duo successfully escapes from the ensuing chaos. In Brazil, Dennis, now the Squiriniszus' personal security detail and Renalda's lover, vows to shield the siblings from harm. Back in New York, Diane awakens Chris to the news broadcast of the Valkenvania disaster. Chris spots Judge Valkenheiser rummaging through the debris where he announces that he and the rest of his family survived. Brandishing Chris's driver's license, Judge Valkenheiser announces that they plan to move in with "grandson" Chris, who panickily flees the scene, leaving a cartoonish hole in the wall.

Bull is a two-year-old mutt from Chicago who frequently humps anything that piques his interest to vent his perverse instincts. He is friends with Rocco, a proud, British-accented boxer; Fetch, a wannabe-influencer dachshund; and Lucky, a dim-witted, masochistic Jack Russell, all of whom except for Bull have been neutered, which makes them a target of ridicule from the haughty, self-absorbed Borzoi show dog Sterling. Bull also harbors a crush on his neighbour, another show dog Borzoi named Honey, but is hesitant to reveal his true feelings for her. One day, Bull's owners throw him a party where they pamper him with treats and toys. But when Bull gets to the Kool-Aid-flavored toilet water, he realizes that this means he is due to be neutered the following morning, as Luther, a Great Dane, had a similar pre-neutered experience. Bull bemoans his experience, alienates his friends as they attempt to comfort him and decides to leave home in order to save himself from being sterilized. However, he soon reconsiders when he is accosted by a large clowder of alley cats, but is rescued by his friends, who came searching for him when he ran away from his home. Reconciling, Bull and his friends barely manage to escape the cats' territory. As Bull decides to return home and face his impending neutering, Rocco convinces him to have one last wild night on the town to make sure his last night of being intact will be one to remember. The foursome get into various shenanigans, such as infiltrating a dog show that Honey is competing in alongside Sterling. Bull finally musters the courage to share his attraction to her with her until she and Sterling win, causing him to sadly leave. The group soon visits "The Humphouse", a dog-friendly version of a strip club, where Lucky falls for the intersex Dobermann bouncer, Frankie. Meanwhile, Bull is seduced by Molasses, an attractive red Borzoi who reminds him of Honey. Molasses gets Bull to knot her, just as Honey, who abandoned the dog show for Bull, stumbles upon the scene and angrily confronts him. Soon, Bull, Honey and the others are captured by animal control and taken to the dog pound, where Honey is eventually released as her owners are informed whereabouts via a chipped in her fur. Realizing that Honey and Sterling will breed due to them winning the dog show, Bull and his friends escape the pound and venture to Bull's house, though Lucky deviates from the group to reunite with Frankie. Bull manages to physically intervene between Honey and Sterling as they're about to breed. However, an oblivious Sterling unknowingly sodomizes Bull, believing to be breeding with Honey. Bull confesses his feelings for her, apologizes and then leaves. Later at night, after Bull reunites with his family, Honey lures him into a backyard treehouse, where she confesses her love for him and the pair then mate. Inevitably, Bull is neutered, but not before he becomes the father of his and Honey's litter of thirteen puppies three months later. Meanwhile, Sterling discovers that he will also be neutered, much to his horror, as Luther mocks him. Later on, Honey and her own pack of friends visit The Humphouse to watch a grizzly bear twerk, to the delight of the audience and to Bull, Rocco, Fetch and Lucky's astonishment.

Agent Maxwell Smart is called back into service in order to stop a nefarious KAOS terrorist plan from exploding a bomb that destroys only clothing, so as to leave KAOS as the only supplier of clothes to the entire world. Norman Saint-Sauvage, the KAOS fashion designer, finds everyone else's clothing designs gauche, so he builds a machine capable of cloning his favorite seamstress and implements the Nude Bombs. He wears a costume including thimbles over each finger, and his mountain lair is entered via a giant zipper.

Stewart "P.C." Simpson (Burlinson) lives in a magnificent beachfront home and is an enthusiastic windsurfer, indulging his passion for windsurfing daily. His wealthy father (Tingwell) may fault P.C.'s inconsistency in working within the company he owns but can appreciate his son's remarkable abilities on the waves. With the help of his father's company's engineer Howard (Chilvers), P.C. develops a high-tech sailboard for the coming world windsurfing championship. Meanwhile, Jade (Kidman) is a rock singer who starts a relationship with P.C., but as their romance blooms, sport, friends, and the upcoming championship become secondary.

The core plot begins with the kidnapping of Patrick (Andreas Stitch), the son of a wealthy industrialist. Sexual and romantic entanglements push the drama forward. At the film's climax, Gudrun delivers a soliloquy on the importance of personal life in revolution. She puts particular emphasis on the breaking of heterosexual and possessive sexual norms, urging her comrades to join "The Homosexual Intifada ". The pressure of Gudrun's controlling personality causes the group to break up. Most of the urban guerrillas escape into the night. In the dénouement, the characters are visited some time later. Several have found happiness in the homosexual relationships established during their revolutionary activities. Che has become a terrorist trainer in the Middle East. Patrick escapes with Clyde, where they embark on a spree of bank robberies. This action is reminiscent of Patty Hearst 's actions with the SLA. Gudrun and Holger settle down and have a child named Ulrike (after Ulrike Meinhof), whom Gudrun believes could embody the next generation of the Red Army Faction.

Roman-Catholic priest Doug Jones witnesses his parents die in a VFX car fire. He travels to China on a spiritual journey and comes across ninjas searching for an artifact said to turn people into the "Dragon Warrior". After becoming infected by the artifact, Doug begins having nightmares and he gets a kiss from his mentor Father Stewart. Doug then goes out into the forest late at night as he transforms into a dinosaur. He saves Carol, a prostitute, from a thug. Waking up in Carol's bed naked, with no memory of the night before, Doug initially believes they had sex, but after Carol tells him what happened he realizes the truth. Unpersuaded by her suggestion to use his new power to fight crime and get rid of people they believe are beyond spiritual salvation, he returns to the church for confession; speaking to Frankie Mermaid, Carol's pimp, he learns Frankie is the one responsible for killing Doug's parents. Enraged, Doug proceeds to kill Frankie and, now convinced about her plan to fight crime, returns to Carol needing her assistance. Father Stewart, learning of Doug's new power, encourages Doug to lose it and stop killing. He takes him to see Altair, an exorcist, hoping to remove Doug's power. In a flashback, it is revealed that Father Stewart saw a war buddy shot while off guard and that his love interest was killed by a mine. In the present, the exorcism fails and Doug transforms, slashing one of Father Stewart's eyes. Returning to Carol, Doug is confronted by ninjas. Father Stewart wakes up in a camp of drug-dealing Christian ninjas led by Wei Chan, who plans to sell highly addictive cocaine to people and then cut off supplies. Wei Chan hopes this will lead the addicts to turn to the church, where he will eventually take over, and use them as his army. Father Stewart rejects this idea, and is killed. Doug and Carol are confronted by ninjas, and plan to stop Wei Chan. Doug is stopped by Sam, the White Ninja, who he later realizes is his brother. Doug catches Sam off guard and uses telekinesis to take Sam's sword and kill him. Doug and Carol fight off more ninjas, and the latter is badly wounded. Doug, transforming into a velociraptor and fighting off the remaining ninjas, is shot by Wei Chan with an arrow containing venom to stop his transformation. Doug's hands are immune to the venom, and he proceeds to kill Wei Chan using his dinosaur powers, among other techniques. Doug carries Carol to the hospital where she recovers. Doug, no longer a priest and with a billion-dollar bounty on his head, plans to travel the world with Carol, and continue their original plan to kill off criminals.

Jay and Annie Hargrove are a married couple who used to have sex at every opportunity. Now, after having two kids, they rarely are intimate. Getting her mother to keep the kids overnight, the couple try roleplaying and try having sex in less orthodox parts of the house, but then Jay struggles to get an erection. So, Annie suggests making a sex tape and they film themselves having sex in every position listed in The Joy of Sex on his tablet. When done, Annie asks Jay to delete the recording to be safe, but an application on the tablet ends up instead inadvertently synchronizing the video to several iPads he had given away over time. After failing to get it out of the cloud, they set out to get back all of the gifted iPads, leading to a series of awkward encounters and close calls. The couple relatively easily manage to delete the video on both her mother's and their son's tablets. Their close friends, Robbie and Tess, invite them in and then Annie and Jay end up having to explain themselves. Their friends, without any real plans, tag along as they seek the tablets. Their most challenging recovery of a tablet is from the house of Annie's potential boss, Hank Rosenbaum. Under the guise of seeking money for a charity, Annie distracts him while Jay searches the house for the tablet. In the process, she tries cocaine for the first time and Jay battles with Hank's German shepherd. In the end, Robbie and Tess are the ones who get it back. After collecting the iPads and deleting the videos, their friend's son, Howard, threatens to upload a copy of their sex tape to YouPorn unless they give him $25,000. After failing to get the money, they break into the YouPorn headquarters and begin to destroy their web servers. The couple's plan is quickly thwarted when an alarm sounds. The owner, his guards and his wife confront them and threaten to call the police. However, after explaining it was to protect their family, their two young children come out. The owner's wife convinces him to take pity on them, so he agrees not to do so in exchange for $15,000 to cover the damage. Removing their video, he explains that all they had to do to have a video removed was send him an email request to do so. After they have deleted all videos, Howard comes over to the house and gives Jay the only remaining copy of the video on a USB flash drive. This is in exchange for being allowed to hang out with their son, Clive, since he is his only friend. As the film comes to a close, Jay and Annie decide to watch the video once themselves. Afterwards, they take the USB flash drive and go outside to smash it with a hammer, blend it, burn it with fire, and bury the remains.

Kenneth Zevo, the eccentric owner of Zevo Toys in Moscow, Idaho, faces terminal illness. Defying expectations, he bypasses his son, Leslie—a whimsical toymaker apprenticed at the factory—and appoints his estranged brother, U.S. Army Lieutenant General Leland Zevo, as successor. Kenneth believes Leslie's childlike nature would endanger the company, despite his talent. To aid Leslie's maturity, Kenneth hires Gwen Tyler, hoping they will form a romantic relationship. After Kenneth's death, Leland reluctantly assumes control but delegates factory operations to Leslie and his sister, Alsatia, due to their expertise. However, Leland's militaristic instincts surface upon learning of potential corporate espionage. He enlists his son Patrick, a covert operations specialist, to overhaul security. Inspired by war machinery, Leland proposes manufacturing military toys, clashing with Leslie, who cites Kenneth's pacifist ethos as company policy. Meanwhile, Leslie and Gwen begin dating. Secretly, Leland converts a factory section to develop miniature remote-controlled war machines, misleading Leslie by claiming it is for experimental toys. After the military rejects his prototypes, Leland grows unhinged, expanding production, militarizing the facility, and displacing workers—including Alsatia. Suspicious, Leslie and Alsatia infiltrate the restricted area and discover children piloting war drones via arcade-style consoles. They narrowly escape an amphibious drone, the "Sea Swine," and alert Gwen and Kenneth's former assistant Owen Owens. Patrick, learning Leland lied about his mother Dee Dee's death, defects to Leslie's side. The group infiltrates the factory, evading Leland's deadly toys, including "Tommy Tanks" and "Hurly-Burly Helicopters." Leslie rallies vintage Zevo toys from storage, unleashing them against Leland's army in a chaotic showdown. During the clash, Leland's helicopter misfires, destroying his control panel and deactivating his machines. A critical revelation emerges: Alsatia is an advanced robot built by Kenneth to be Leslie's companion after his mother's death. She is damaged defending against the Sea Swine but later repaired. Leland, attacked by his own drone, is hospitalized. Leslie assumes leadership, restoring the factory's playful ethos with Gwen, while Patrick departs for new missions. The film concludes with the group honoring Kenneth's legacy at a memorial.

Members of the Lambda Lambda Lambda (Tri-Lambs) fraternity of Adams College—proud nerd Lewis Skolnick, shy genius Arnold Poindexter, child prodigy Harold Wormser, lewd misfit Dudley "Booger" Dawson, and flamboyant Lamar Latrelle—travel to the United Fraternity national convention in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Upon arriving at the luxurious Royal Flamingo Hotel, the Tri-Lambs discover that their reserved rooms have been reassigned to members of the national Alpha Beta fraternity by the acting manager, Buzz, who does not want nerds staying at his hotel. The receptionist, Sunny Carstairs, unsuccessfully attempts to persuade him to reconsider. Poindexter secures alternative accommodations at the Hotel Coral Essex, but the group soon discovers it is a dilapidated property in a rough neighborhood. Meanwhile, the Alpha Betas—led by local president Roger Latimer and joined by Ogre from Adams College—plot to drive the Tri-Lambs from the conference. Roger gives the Tri-Lambs incorrect directions to a pre-conference barbecue, leading them into a trap in which they believe they are surrounded by a tribe of Seminole Indians conducting a ritualistic killing. The disguised Alpha Betas force the Tri-Lambs to strip to their underwear before chasing them away, humiliating them publicly. Despite this, the Tri-Lambs refuse to withdraw from the convention and confront Buzz and the Alpha Betas after Buzz fires the hotel bellboy, Stewart, for objecting to his sexual harassment of Sunny. In retaliation, Roger proposes "Proposition 15", a bylaw requiring fraternities to meet both academic and physical standards, effectively targeting the intellectually gifted but physically unimposing Tri-Lambs. Determined to fight back, the Tri-Lambs host a party at the Coral Essex and perform a musical number opposing the measure, winning over the delegates and defeating the proposal. Roger then feigns reconciliation, offering to introduce a new bylaw stating that any fraternity found guilty of criminal conduct will be expelled from the conference and have its charter revoked. Trusting Roger's apparent goodwill, the Tri-Lambs accept an invitation to stay in a luxury suite at the Royal Flamingo. Roger subsequently arranges for Sunny and two other women to take the Tri-Lambs to the beach in his car. After Sunny and Lewis grow closer, Roger's women persuade the Tri-Lambs to borrow Roger's car to buy beer, unaware that Roger has reported it stolen. The Tri-Lambs are arrested. Sunny and Stewart bail them out of jail. Disillusioned and convinced that Sunny was complicit, Lewis announces his intention to abandon the conference. The Alpha Betas then kidnap the Tri-Lambs, Sunny, and Stewart, abandoning the men on an uninhabited island; disgusted by Roger's actions, Sunny chooses to stay with the Tri-Lambs. Fearing Ogre may boast about the scheme, the Alpha Betas throw him overboard as well, despite him being unable to swim, but Wormser rescues him. After sharing marijuana, the Tri-Lambs and Ogre realize they have more in common than they thought. That night, Lewis dreams of his friend Gilbert Lowe, who encourages him not to give up and to reconsider his mistrust of Sunny. The next morning, Lewis apologizes to Sunny and inspires the group to escape the island. They discover a hidden cache of military equipment, including an amphibious vehicle. As Roger presides over a vote to expel the Tri-Lambs, they dramatically crash the conference, driving the amphibious vehicle through the wall before plunging into the hotel pool. Sunny exposes Roger's plot to the delegates, and Lewis punches Roger into the water. The crowd cheers before Lewis and Sunny kiss. Back at Adams College, Lewis and Gilbert preside over an induction ceremony welcoming Ogre as the newest member of Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Patrick, Tim, and Georgie are firefighters who live and work together. After saving two children from a fire, they are hailed as heroes of New Orleans. While on a fishing trip with his girlfriend Sophia, Patrick claims to witness a 35-foot long shark. Although he repeatedly tries to warn his friends, they do not believe him and insist there are no sharks in the Mississippi River. Eventually, Patrick is vindicated when shark attacks are reported on the local news. The shark is carried abreast of flood water through the streets of the city, eating people. Patrick and Tim set out across New Orleans to save the city from the shark, and scenes in which they search for or flee from it are interspersed with scenes of interactions with their girlfriends and socializing at a bar. Meanwhile, their boss, Captain Joe, procures scuba gear for them and implores them to help save the city. Tim receives a treasure map from an old man in the bar, marking where the shark sleeps, though Patrick expresses some confusion over whether or not sharks sleep. While playing pool, Patrick and Tim conceive a plan to place a tracking device on the shark, follow it in their scuba gear, and feed it dynamite hidden inside a pig carcass. After obtaining the bait, they spear the shark with the tracking device, but the animal retaliates and eats Georgie. Tim and Patrick visit a shrine erected in Georgie's honor on the beach, and together mourn their friend's death by composing a song. With the tracking device in place, Tim and Patrick pursue the shark into the bayou and kill it by tricking it into eating the bomb. Initially, Tim seems to die in the explosion, but it is revealed that he was only flung high in the air and survives. The heroes celebrate by dancing in the streets of New Orleans with a marching band.