The conglomerate Webscoe Industries hires computer programmer Gus Gorman, who secretly embezzles $85,000 from the company payroll. Gus comes to the attention of Webscoe's CEO, Ross Webster. A cunning billionaire fixated on using technology for financial domination, Webster sees Gus's skills as a valuable asset. With the help of his stern sister, Vera, and his mistress Lorelei Ambrosia, he blackmails Gus into aiding his schemes. Superman extinguishes a fire in a chemical plant, and, as Clark Kent, he returns to Smallville for his high school reunion. Clark reconnects with childhood friend Lana Lang, who has a young son named Ricky. Superman later saves Ricky from a combine harvester accident during a picnic with Lana. Webster orders Gus to use the weather satellite 'Vulcan' to create a storm that destroys coffee crops in Colombia, aiming to corner the market. Gus complies, but Superman neutralizes the storm. Recognizing Superman as a threat, Webster orders Gus to synthesize Kryptonite. When the computer fails to recognize the total chemical composition, Gus substitutes tar for the unknown elements. Lana invites Superman to Ricky's birthday party. Gus and Vera infiltrate the party and give Superman the synthetic Kryptonite, which leaves him unharmed, to their confusion. Instead, he gradually becomes corrupted after exposure to it, committing sophomoric acts such as straightening the Leaning Tower of Pisa and blowing out the Olympic Flame. Gus proposes building a supercomputer for Webster in exchange for creating an energy crisis by redirecting oil tankers. Lorelei seduces Superman and manipulates him into causing an oil spill. Superman suffers a nervous breakdown and splits into two beings: the corrupted Superman and Clark Kent. The two fight, and Clark defeats his corrupted counterpart by strangling him to death. Superman then repairs the damage of the oil spill. After surviving exploding rockets and a missile, he confronts Webster, Vera, and Lorelei in the supercomputer. The computer becomes self-aware and defends itself against attempts to disable it as it transforms Vera into a cyborg. Vera attacks Webster and Lorelei with energy beams that immobilize them. Superman retrieves a can of acid from the chemical plant and uses it to destroy the computer. Superman hands Webster and cronies to the authorities. Gus starts anew in West Virginia. Meanwhile, Clark visits Lana in Metropolis, where she begins working as a secretary for Perry White. Lois Lane returns from Bermuda with an exposé on corruption, and Superman restores the Leaning Tower of Pisa before flying into space.

The year is 2047, 29 years after the nuclear war immediately following the battle between the Earth and Moon Nazis rendered the planet inhospitable. The last survivors have rallied together on "Neomenia", the former Moon Nazi base on the far side of the Moon, struggling to coexist with the former Moon Nazis who also live in the base. Over the years, the base has started to deteriorate, due to overpopulation and the damage on the Moon caused by the battle. Meanwhile, Jobsism, a cult formed around the teachings of Steve Jobs and their leader, Donald, has become the Moon base's official religion. Obi Washington, daughter of James Washington (who has since passed away) and Renate Richter, has spent her life keeping Neomenia's life support systems functional. While examining a Russian refugee ship, she encounters Wolfgang Kortzfleisch, the long-presumed-dead former Moonführer, who gives her Vrilia, the cure to Renate's terminal illness. When Renate's health is restored, Kortzfleisch reveals to Obi that he is a Vril, a race of Reptilians that arrived on Earth during the age of the dinosaurs. While studying the primates that emerged during prehistory, Kortzfleisch created humankind by injecting Vrilia into an apple and feeding it to his monkeys, Adam and Eve. The Vril have since gone underground to the center of the Earth once mankind had evolved. Kortzfleisch offers Obi a mission to travel to the subterranean city of Agartha and take the city's Vrilia to ensure the survival of her colony. Obi, along with the refugee ship's pilot, Sasha, security officer Malcolm, and the Jobsists, fly to Antarctica and crash in the Hollow Earth. In Agartha, the Vril, who have been masquerading as world leaders throughout history, kill the President of the United States for making the surface world uninhabitable. The Jobsists and Malcolm are captured by Steve Jobs and brought to Adolf Hitler, and Donald offers Hitler the whereabouts of Kortzfleisch in exchange for the Jobsists to live in Agartha, only for Hitler to betray them and have Jobs eat the Jobsists. Meanwhile, Obi and Sasha take the Holy Grail, the source of the Vrilia, but cause Agartha's sun to collapse and destroy the city. Malcolm escapes from captivity and rejoins Obi and Sasha before they fly back to Neomenia. Hitler launches the Vril spaceship out of Antarctica to follow them. Upon the trio's arrival, Kortzfleisch holds Renate hostage for Obi to surrender the Holy Grail, but Hitler and his pet Tyrannosaurus, Blondi, invade the Moon base. After drinking from the Holy Grail, a rejuvenated Renate confronts and kills Hitler, but is mortally wounded by Kortzfleisch. Obi, Sasha, Malcolm, and the surviving inhabitants escape in an old ship, but Kortzfleisch chases after them. Using Sasha's old Nokia 3310, Obi hacks into Donald's iPhone, triggering the self-destruct mechanism and destroying the Vril spaceship. During dinner, Malcolm comes out as gay, but collapses and seemingly dies from allergens in the food. Both he and Renate are given a space funeral, but Malcolm suddenly gets out of his coffin, revealing that he only went into a short coma, a condition he has had since childhood. As the ship makes its long travel to Mars, Obi and Sasha express their love for each other. In a mid-credit sequence, it is revealed that Mars has been colonized by the Soviet Union.

Trixie Zurbo is an eccentric woman who longs to quit her job as a security guard in a department store and become a private detective. She finally gets her wish when she takes a job in security at a casino. She accidentally becomes involved in a murderous plot and Trixie takes her first case; however, her unschooled command of the English language (malapropism) and comedy intervenes and the mess begins.

Late at night, an elderly toy-maker reads a book to his granddaughter. In the story the Land of Oz is ruled by Prime Minister Kruel, aided by Ambassador Wikked, Lady Vishuss, and the Wizard who is a "medicine-show hokum hustler". When the discontented citiens of Oz, led by Prince Kynd, demand the return of the princess, who disappeared as a baby many years before, so she can be crowned their rightful ruler, Kruel has the Wizard distract them with a parlor trick and sends Wikked on a mission. Meanwhile, in Kansas, Dorothy lives on a farm with her relatives. Aunt Em is a kind and caring woman but Uncle Henry is a large man with a short temper who shows little affection for his niece. He acts abusive to his three farmhands, in which two of them are in love with Dorothy. Aunt Em reveals to Dorothy that she was put on their doorstep as a baby, along with an envelope and instructions that it be opened only when she turns 18. On her 18th birthday, however, Ambassador Wikked and his henchmen arrive at the farm in an airplane and demand the envelope. When Uncle Henry refuses to hand it over, Wikked persuades one of the farmhands by promising him wealth and Dorothy. Wikked has Dorothy tied to a rope and raised high up on a tower; his men start a fire underneath the rope. The farmhand finds the note, but the other takes it and saves Dorothy, only to have Wikked and his men capture them all at gunpoint. Then, a tornado suddenly strikes. Dorothy, the three farmhands, and Uncle Henry take shelter inside a small wooden shed, which is carried aloft by the violent wind and deposited in the Land of Oz. Dorothy finally reads the contents of the envelope; it declares that she is Princess Dorothea, the rightful ruler of Oz. Thwarted by her discovering this truth, Prime Minister Kruel blames the farmhands for kidnapping her and demands that the Wizard transform them into wild creatures such as a monkey, which he is unable to do. Being chased by Kruel's soldiers, one of the farmhands disguises himself as a scarecrow, while the other creates a costume from the pile of tin in which he is hiding under. However, they are still eventually captured by the soldiers. During their trial, the Tin Man accuses his fellow farmhands of kidnapping Dorothy. As judgement, Prince Kynd has the Scarecrow put in the dungeon. Kruel makes the Tin Man "Knight of the Garter" and Wikked suggests he retain his power by marrying Dorothy. The Wizard then helps the two prisoners escape by giving the third farmhand, Snowball a lion costume, which he uses to scare away the guards. Though the Scarecrow manages to reach Dorothy to warn her against Kruel, he is chased back down into the dungeon by the Tin Man, and ends up getting trapped inside a lion cage (with real lions) for a while. He and Snowball finally escape. When Prince Kynd finds Kruel trying to force Dorothy to marry him, they engage in a sword fight. When Kruel's henchmen intervene and help disarm Kynd, the Scarecrow saves Dorothy and Kynd. Defeated, Kruel claims that he took Dorothy to Kansas in order to protect her from court factions out to harm her, but she orders that he be taken away. The Scarecrow is heartbroken to discover that Dorothy has fallen for Prince Kynd. He then flees up a tower from the Tin Man, who tries to blast him with a cannon. Snowball flies a biplane overhead, and the Scarecrow manages to grab a rope ladder dangling underneath it. However, the ladder breaks and he falls. The scene shifts abruptly back to the little girl, who had fallen asleep. She wakes up and leaves. The grandfather reads from the book that Dorothy marries Prince Kynd and they live happily ever after.

Tim Dingman and Nick Vanderpark are best friends, neighbors and co-workers at 3M. Nick is constantly coming up with crazy ideas to get rich quick, and when he invents Vapoorize, a spray that instantly disintegrates dog feces, he actually succeeds. As Nick's wealth continues to grow, so does Tim's envy, as he had initially scoffed at the idea and squandered an opportunity to invest and become mega-rich himself. Nick is blissfully unaware of Tim's envy, and his generosity only serves to make Tim more envious of him. Meanwhile, Nick's wife Natalie decides to run for the state senate but is continually plagued by questions about her husband's product. After Tim's wife Debbie and children temporarily leave and he is fired from 3M, Tim's envy reaches new levels. In a bar, he meets J-Man, a bizarre drifter, who lends a sympathetic ear and offers advice. After a drunken night out, Tim accidentally shoots Nick's beloved horse, Corky, with a bow and arrow, apparently killing him, and buries the horse in his abandoned swimming pool. Nick offers a $50,000 reward for the return of his horse. J-Man and Tim concoct a plan whereby J-Man would discover the horse and claim the reward, splitting the proceeds. However, a series of unfortunate events, including Tim's family getting holed up in J-Man's mountain cabin, leads to the horse's carcass being lost in a rainstorm. Nick reveals to Tim that he is going to Rome for the debut of Vapoorize there and gives Tim the opportunity to join him in a 50/50 partnership, which he accepts. J-Man finds out that Tim is now rich, and, feeling betrayed, tries to blackmail him. After confessing to his wife, now enjoying her rich lifestyle, Tim agrees to pay J-Man; however, J-Man ups his demands and asks to be Tim's partner. Tim accidentally shoots him in the back with an arrow and J-Man, believing that Tim has tried to kill him, backs down in fear. Tim eventually confesses all to Nick who forgives him for his jealousy and agrees to continue with the partnership; however, at a press conference for Natalie's electoral campaign (where she promises to withdraw her candidacy if it is proven Vapoorize is harmful to the environment in any way), Corky's body is seen floating down the nearby river. The animal's post-mortem reveals that the horse was not killed by the arrow as previously thought but actually poisoned by a by-product of Vapoorize, used by Tim to treat his garden after Corky came to eat the apples from his tree. The veterinarian informs the pair that she is obliged to notify the Environmental Protection Agency, and Vapoorize is immediately pulled from the market. Nick and Tim almost lose all their wealth and glory, until Tim comes up with an invention of his own: Pocket Flan, inspired by Nick's family's love for the dessert. J-Man is shown in the audience of Tim and Nick's infomercial for Pocket Flan, apparently reconciled.

Distinguished Professor Gordon explains that Earth is being tormented by periodic "sex rays", which send people into a sexual frenzy. When one of the rays hits the passenger aircraft carrying Flesh Gordon and Dale Ardor, the pilots abandon the controls and everyone aboard has manic sex. Realizing no one is flying the plane, Flesh temporarily snaps out of the effects of the ray and tries to pilot the vehicle, to no avail. Seeing no other solution, he takes a parachute and escapes with Dale from the imminent crash. They land near the workshop of Dr. Flexi Jerkoff, who has a plan to stop the sex rays at their source. They travel to the planet Porno aboard Jerkoff's phallic rocket ship, and are briefly hit by a sex ray, resulting in a frantic three-way orgy. After being shot down by the minions of Emperor Wang, the heroes crash land. They run away from their pursuers and enter a nearby cave, where several one-eyed Penisauruses attack them. Wang's soldiers then shoot down the creatures and imprison the earthlings. They are brought before Wang, who is presiding over a sex orgy of more than a dozen men and women. Jerkoff is sent to work in the palace's laboratory, while Wang announces his intention to marry Dale. Flesh is sentenced to death, but is saved from execution by Queen Amora, who takes him as her sex slave. To achieve this, Amora takes Flesh to her ship, which departs for the stars while she hypnotizes him and they make love. Angry at her rebellious attitude, Wang shoots down Amora's airship, and Flesh is the only survivor. Jerkoff escapes the palace and reunites with Flesh, and they resume their efforts to defeat Emperor Wang. To aid them in their quest, Amora's spirit lends them her "power pasties", which turn out to be powerful weapons against Porno's soldiers. The heroes manage to interrupt Wang and Dale's wedding before it is fully realized, and a fight ensues. During it, Dale is kidnapped by Amazonian lesbians. Their leader, Chief Nellie, attempts to initiate Dale into their warrior sex cult. Flesh and Jerkoff save her, unexpectedly aided by Prince Precious of the Forest Kingdom. With help from their new ally, Jerkoff builds a weapon to destroy the sex ray. During the mission, they confront Wang and trick his "rapist robots" into turning on him. However, Wang escapes, seeking the aid of the towering idol of the Great God Porno. Porno comes to life and captures Dale, doing a running commentary like a jaded hipster as they flee. Shooting the living idol, Jerkoff frees Dale and causes the god to fall on Wang. The crash destroys the sex ray and kills them both. Flesh, Dale, and Jerkoff are celebrated as heroes of the planet Porno, thank Prince Precious (the true heir of planet Porno) and return to Earth.

Austrian research geneticist Dr. Alex Hesse and his OB / GYN colleague Dr. Larry Arbogast invent a fertility drug, "Expectane", designed to reduce the chances of a miscarriage. With the drug unapproved by the FDA, the colleagues are not authorized to test it and are unable to continue their research. Noah Banes, the director of the laboratory, informs Larry that while the FDA denied human experimentation, the team has received a donation from geneticist Dr. Diana Reddin from the ovum cryogenics department. Alex plans to start over in Europe, but Larry suggests they can still perform the experiment, with Canadian firm Lyndon Pharmaceutical offering to fund them provided they find a volunteer. Alex questions the likelihood of a pregnant woman taking an unapproved drug, but Larry suggests omitting the volunteer's gender and convinces him to impregnate himself with an ovum codenamed "Junior". That night, Alex dreams his potential offspring has his own face. As weeks go by, he complains to Larry of morning sickness and sore nipples, and chats incessantly about walks, massages, and naps. Contemplating fatherhood after watching television commercials, Alex breaks down sobbing. When the time comes for Alex to end the experiment and release the results to Lyndon Pharmaceutical, he continues taking the drug as he has decided to carry the pregnancy to term; initially annoyed, Larry agrees to keep it hidden. Alex develops a relationship with Diana, and reveals his pregnancy to Angela, Larry's ex-wife, who also happens to be pregnant by Aerosmith 's personal trainer. Diana is stunned and angry when it is revealed that the "Junior" ovum is hers, and Banes attempts to take credit for the experiment. Disguised as a woman, Alex hides in a retreat for expectant mothers, blaming his masculine appearance on anabolic steroid use. Diana visits Alex at the resort and the two reconcile, telling each other it does not matter who is pregnant because she is the mother and he is the father. Larry reveals the experiment's data to Lyndon Pharmaceutical, who agree to partner with them. Alex experiences abdominal pain from the start of labor, calling for Larry and Diana. As Diana rushes to the resort, Larry tells a fellow doctor to prepare for an emergency c-section. A janitor overhears and alerts Banes, who summons the media, hoping to take credit for the world's first pregnant man. Warned by his colleague, Larry distracts the press by arriving with Angela, discrediting Banes, who is fired by the university president, while Diana and Alex enter the hospital by the fire escape. Larry and his colleague take Alex away for his operation: sent to keep Angela company in the waiting room, Diana finds her in labor and becomes her delivery coach. Alex gives birth to a healthy baby girl, and Larry announces the arrival to Diana, who is assisting Angela with contractions. Diana leaves Angela with Larry and rushes to see the baby, whom she and Alex name Junior. Larry delivers Angela's child and they reconcile to raise the boy, Jake, as their own. One year later, the families all go on vacation together and celebrate the birthdays of Junior and Jake. Diana is pregnant with their second child, and Angela mentions wanting another baby but not wishing to endure pregnancy again; at Alex's suggestion, they all try to convince a reluctant Larry to carry the child.

Bo Hooper, a clown, finds himself unemployed when the circus where he works suddenly closes. He winds up living with his sister, against the wishes of her husband Robert. From there he goes from job to job, wreaking havoc along the way. He finally finds some stability as a postal worker, until he finds out that his boss is his girlfriend's father. The father hates all mail carriers because his daughter's ex-husband was one, so he tries to wreck Bo's life, but Bo overcomes the odds and succeeds not only at work, but at impressing the father.

Unemployed 28-year-old cartoonist Gordon "Gord" Brody leaves his parents' home in Portland, Oregon, to pursue his lifelong ambition of obtaining a contract for an animated television series. His parents, Jim and Julie, give him a Chrysler LeBaron which he drives to Los Angeles and starts work at a cheese sandwich factory to make money. Gord shows his drawings to Dave Davidson, the CEO of a major animation studio; Davidson commends the artwork but calls the concepts depicted, including a vigilante "X-Ray Cat", nonsensical. Disheartened, Gord quits his job and returns to his parents. Jim constantly insults and belittles Gord following his return, telling him to forget about being an animator and "get a job". When Gord pressures his friend Darren into skating on a wooden half-pipe he has built outside the Brody home, Darren falls and breaks his leg. At the hospital, Gord impersonates a doctor, delivers a baby, and meets an attractive wheelchair-bound nurse named Betty. Gord visits Betty at her home, where she shows him the protoype rocket-powered wheelchair she is working on. Betty initiates a romantic encounter with Gord, and persuades him to beat her legs with a cane for masochistic pleasure. She offers to perform fellatio on him, but he declines and leaves, stating they're moving too fast. Gord lies to his father that he has got a job in the computer industry. While his father thinks he is at work, Gord takes Betty out to a restaurant. However, Jim encounters him at the restaurant and disparages Gord's deception and laziness along with Betty's disability. After a fight in the restaurant, Gord is arrested and Betty bails him out. Following her advice, Gord attempts to continue drawing; however, he gets into an argument with Jim, who then smashes Gord's half-pipe. Gord and his parents then go to a family therapy session, where Gord falsely accuses his father of fingering Gord's younger brother, Freddy. The 25-year-old Freddy is sent to a home for sexually molested children despite clearly being an adult. Julie, fed up with Jim's real and perceived behavior, leaves Jim and ends up dating the basketball player Shaquille O'Neal. While in a drunken stupor, Jim tells Gord how much of a disappointment he is to him. Affected by his father's words, Gord decides to abandon his aspirations to be a cartoonist and gets a job at a local sandwich shop. After seeing a television news report on Betty's successful rocket-powered wheelchair, Gord is inspired to pursue his dreams once again. He returns to Hollywood with a concept based on his relationship with his father: an adult animated series called Zebras in America. Jim follows Gord there after threatening Darren into revealing his whereabouts. While Gord is pitching the show to Davidson, Jim bursts in and trashes Davidson's office. Thinking Jim's actions are part of Gord's pitch, Davidson greenlights Zebras in America and gives Gord a million-dollar check. Gord spends a quarter of that money on an elaborate thank you to Betty for inspiring him, using a helicopter to deliver jewels to her. She thanks him but says she really only wants to perform fellatio on him. Gord spends the remainder of his windfall to relocate part of the Brody house to Pakistan with his father inside, unconscious—a response to Jim's earlier put-down that "If this were Pakistan, you would have been sewing soccer balls when you were four years old!". A furious Jim chases Gord into a tent, where Gord masturbates a bull elephant and causes it to spray his father with semen. Gord and Jim soon come to terms, but are then abducted and held hostage. The kidnapping becomes a news item, as Gord's series has already become popular. After 18 months in captivity, Gord and Jim return to the United States, where a huge crowd—including Betty, Darren, and a protestor holding a sign asking “When the fuck is this movie going to end?”—welcomes them home.

An all-American family inherits a deceased uncle's house. John and Mary Hyatt, together with daughter Debbie and son Billy move in, but Waldemar, a vampire, and Yolanda, his wife, want desperately to get into the rundown house because it contains a book of evil. Billy finds the mysterious book. He reads of a curse hanging over the date of Saturday the 14th. As he turns the page, a monster is unleashed and with each turn, another disappears from the page and is materialized within or outside the home. The house is soon swarming with monsters. Strange things start happening: eyes appear in John's coffee, sandwiches are mysteriously eaten, the television tunes into The Twilight Zone only, dirt is found in Mary's bed, dishes get done by themselves, neighbors disappear. As this is happening, neither John or Mary suspect anything, completely oblivious to the spooky occurrences around them. Waldemar gets into the house by turning into a bat. Mary keeps hearing noises at night, which she thinks are made by owls, but are actually the sounds of Waldemar in bat form. John hires an exterminator to get rid of the bats. The exterminator turns out to be Van Helsing, who is also after the book of evil. John and Mary begin planning a housewarming party for Saturday the 14th. Guests arrive, but they cannot leave. When they try, a thunderstorm appears outside the door. As the night unfolds, the monsters begin to kill the guests one by one. Eventually a duel between Van Helsing and Waldemar and Yolanda erupts, where it is discovered that Van Helsing wants the book in order to rule the world and Waldemar and Yolanda were only trying to stop him from getting his hands on it. Good triumphs over evil, as Van Helsing and the monsters are defeated. The Hyatts end up in an upscale new home, while Waldemar and Yolanda keep the original house as their own.

Nashawn Wade claims that he has loved planes since he was a child, but he has a horrible experience with a typical airline: his dog Dre is classified as checked baggage instead of a carry-on, he eats a horrible airline meal, his buttocks get stuck in the toilet while he has diarrhea, caused by his meal, during turbulence, and Dre is fatally sucked through a jet engine after a flight attendant accidentally opens the cargo door. In response to the terrible experience he endured, Nashawn sues the airline and is awarded $100,000,000 by the jury. He decides to use the money to start his own airline, called N.W.A. (Nashawn Wade Airlines), whose acronym and logo are a pop culture reference to rap group N.W.A. The airline specifically caters to African Americans and hip hop culture. The terminal at the airport is called the Malcolm X terminal, where two non-working TSA Agents, Jamiqua and Shaniece, are goofing off instead of checking belongings. The plane is a heavily modified Boeing 747SP, customized with low-rider hydraulics, spinners, and a dance club. The safety video is also a parody of the Destiny's Child song " Survivor ". After taking off from Los Angeles International Airport, Nashawn must deal with a multitude of problems, starting with his acrophobic captain, Captain Mack. At a cruising altitude of Flight Level 330, it is revealed that he has never left the ground because he learned to fly on computer simulators in prison. Meanwhile, his cousin Muggsey sets up a miniature casino and strip joint in one of the areas of the plane (as seen in the workprint and unrated versions of the film), and Nashawn's ex-girlfriend, Giselle is on board and less than happy to see him. Meanwhile, the Hunkee family, the only Caucasian passengers on board, must also deal with their own problems; Elvis' daughter Heather is turning 18 and plans to use her newfound freedom by drinking and having sex, his son has transformed from an exact duplicate of him to a stereotypical wigger, and his wife is suddenly addicted to black men after viewing pictures in a pornographic magazine. Captain Mack seemingly dies after eating mushrooms that the co-pilot, First Officer Gaemon, uses to soothe his genital crabs. Nashawn attempts to contact Gaemon, who is incapacitated after slipping near a hot tub, forcing Nashawn to attempt to land the plane himself. Nashawn lands the plane safely, using flight attendant Blanca's flight knowledge which she learned while having sex in the cockpit with the pilot on another plane. The plane lands in the middle of Central Park instead of John F. Kennedy International Airport in Queens, New York, and the spinners are stolen from the plane. Nashawn reconciles with Giselle after earlier revealing to her that he only broke up with her so she would not give up her college opportunities for him. The movie ends with Nashawn telling the audience the fate of his crew. He claims that he and his ex-girlfriend are back together and are taking their relationship slow this time around, his cousin Muggsey has started a strip club and gambling casino located in another airplane similar to the club in Nashawn's plane, Elvis has begun a sexual relationship with Jamiqua, and his son Billy has become a major music video director but has disappeared shortly after filming a Michael Jackson video. Captain Mack later wakes up to find his chain and clothing stolen.