At a corporation's base on the Neptunian moon Triton, mercenaries are setting up a defense perimeter to try to hold off an unstoppable cyborg warrior. The company's CEO E.J. Saggs and chief scientist Dr. Nabel seal themselves inside the control room. The cyborg destroys the soldiers' tank and then attacks a helicopter, which crashes into the control room. The soldiers are killed one by one, until Nabel finally deactivates the cyborg with a remote control. The remaining corporate employees discover that the cyborg was created by Nabel for the company. Saggs takes the remote and reactivates the cyborg, ordering it to kill Nabel. Meanwhile, John Canyon, one of the last independent "space truckers", drops off his cargo of square pigs at a "truck stop" space station, but becomes embroiled in a brawl with the trucking company head, Keller, who is sucked out into space. He and his two passengers—Cindy, a waitress who has promised to marry him in exchange for a ride to Earth to see her mother, and Mike, an up-and-coming trucker working for the company—take on a deal to transport alleged sex dolls to Earth. Chased by police investigating Keller's death, John takes his rig into the "scum cluster", a region controlled by pirates. The rig takes damage, leaving them adrift; they are soon captured by the pirate ship Regalia, commanded by the company-hating Captain Macanudo. Cindy agrees to have sex with him if he would take the cargo and let them go. The captain is revealed to be Nabel, who rebuilt his grievously injured body and went into piracy as revenge against Saggs for betraying him. The cargo that John's rig is carrying is in fact a full supply of the cyborg warriors Nabel designed and built for Saggs' company. One of the cyborgs activates, kills most of the crew, and severely damages the ship. John, Cindy and Mike take their rig and escape as the Regalia explodes. As they make their way back to Earth, John and Mike find a mortally wounded Macanudo in the hold, who reveals the true nature of the cargo to them. John releases Cindy from any obligation of marrying him, and tells her and Mike to take the escape pod while he releases the cargo in the atmosphere, where it will burn up on re-entry. Cindy and Mike land safely, but the rig is unable to return to space and explodes in the sky; however, John is able to safely escape before the explosion. John, Cindy and Mike go to the hospital to see Cindy's mother, who became sick twenty years earlier and was frozen until a cure was found; John is smitten with her at first sight. Meanwhile, Saggs—now President of Earth after the government was privatized—visits John, Cindy and Mike in the hospital, where he offers John a new rig and gives the trio a suitcase full of money to keep them quiet about his cyborg invasion plan. John tactfully agrees to the deal, convinced they will all be assassinated if they don't accept, but Mike angrily throws the suitcase out the window. Below, Saggs re-enters his presidential limousine; having planted a bomb in the suitcase, he triggers the detonator just as the suitcase lands on his limousine's roof, killing him. With Saggs dead and Earth safe, but also having inadvertently blown up the president, Mike, Cindy, John and Cindy's mother quietly escape to the spaceport and blast off in their brand new rig.

Dawn O'Keefe is a teenage spokesperson for a Christian abstinence group, "The Promise". She frequently overhears her stepbrother Brad and his girlfriend Melanie arguing about his refusal to engage in vaginal intercourse, insisting on only having anal sex. One afternoon at a group meeting, Dawn is introduced to Tobey. Dawn, her friends Gwen and Phil, and Tobey begin going out as a group. Though Dawn and Tobey are attracted to each other, they initially agree they should not spend time alone together. However, they later give in and meet at a local swimming hole. After their swim, they enter a cave to get warm and begin kissing. Dawn becomes uncomfortable and tries to persuade Tobey to go back outside, but he becomes aggressive. When Dawn tries to push him off, he shakes her, smacking her head on the ground and dazing her. As Tobey attempts to rape her, but her vagina 'cuts' Toby's penis as it enters vagina, causing him to bleed and fall down the waters and die. A horrified Dawn flees the scene. After a Promise meeting, Dawn runs into her classmate Ryan at a dance. He drops her off at her home and asks her out on a date, but she declines. Dawn returns to the swimming hole and screams in horror when she sees a crab crawling on Tobey's severed penis. She drops her purity ring off a cliff. She then researches vagina dentata and realizes she may have it. She visits a gynecologist, Dr. Godfrey, but he assaults her during the examination, reaching up inside her without a glove. She panics and her vagina bites off four fingers on his right hand. On her way home, she sees several police vehicles passing her, as well as a car that resembles Tobey's. That evening, she returns to the pool to investigate. When she arrives, the police are bringing up Tobey's body. Dawn returns home to find her ailing mother, Kim, unconscious on the floor while Brad and Melanie are in his room having sex. Kim is taken to the hospital. Hysterical, Dawn goes to Ryan seeking help. Ryan gives her a sedative and stimulates her with a vibrator. Though initially afraid she will hurt him, she finds that when she is relaxed and consenting, her "teeth" do not engage. The following morning, they have sex again, but during intercourse, Ryan's friend calls. Ryan smugly boasts that he had made a bet with the friend that he could goad Dawn into sex. In her anger, her vagina bites off his penis and she leaves as he screams in agony. Dawn's stepfather Bill attempts to throw Brad out of the house, but Brad sets his pet Rottweiler on Bill, confessing his love for Dawn. Dawn meets Bill and Melanie at the hospital after her mother has died. Seeing her stepfather injured and hearing from Melanie how Brad told her to ignore her mother's cries for help, Dawn becomes emboldened by her power and goes home to seek revenge. She applies make-up and goes to Brad's room to seduce him. In the midst of the act, Brad recalls that when they were children, Dawn bit his finger, but it was not her mouth that bit him. As he realizes this, Dawn's vagina bites off his penis. She drops it on the ground and although Brad calls his dog to attack her, the animal instead eats the penis, spitting out the pierced glans. Dawn leaves despite his pleas for her to stay. Dawn cycles away from home, but her bicycle tire sustains a puncture, prompting her to hitchhike. She accepts a lift from an old man but falls asleep and wakes up after nightfall outside a convenience store. When she tries to exit his car, he repeatedly locks the doors while licking his lips. Dawn hesitates, then turns to the old man with a mischievous smile.

On June 19, 1987, as the Earth crosses the tail of a rogue comet, Rhea-M, previously inanimate machines spring to life; an ATM insults a customer (Stephen King) and a bascule bridge rises during heavy traffic, causing all vehicles upon the bridge to fall into the river or collide. Chaos sets in as machines begin attacking humans worldwide automatically. At the Dixie Boy Truck Stop outside Wilmington, North Carolina, employee Duncan Keller is blinded after a gas pump sprays diesel in his eyes. After an electric knife injures waitress Wanda June and arcade machines in the back room electrocute a customer, cook and paroled ex-convict Bill Robinson begins to suspect foul play. Meanwhile, at a Little League game, a vending machine kills the coach by firing canned soda at him. A driverless road roller flattens a fleeing child, while Duncan's son Deke escapes on his bike. Newlyweds Connie and Curtis discover a corpse at a roadside gas station, but escape in their car when a tow truck attempts to kill Curtis. Meanwhile, humans and pets are murdered by lawnmowers, chainsaws, electric hair dryers, pocket radios, RC cars and an ice cream truck. At the Dixie Boy, a garbage truck kills Duncan when he departs to search for Deke, and a truck sporting a giant fiberglass Green Goblin mask on its grille slams bible salesman Camp Loman into a ditch. Later, big rig trucks encircle the truck stop. Connie and Curtis outmaneuver a semi-truck, causing it to crash off the side of the road and explode. They arrive at the fortified truck stop, where it is safer than out in the open. As they try to pass between the trucks, their car is hit and overturned. Bill and hitchhiker Brett Graham rush to help them before the trucks attack. The owner Bubba Hendershot uses M72 LAW rockets he had stored in a bunker hidden under the diner to destroy many of the trucks. Deke later arrives at the Dixie Boy and attempts entrance via the sewers, but is obstructed by the wire mesh covering the opening. That night, the survivors hear Loman screaming, and Bill and Curtis sneak out via the sewers to help him. Deke discovers Loman, believing him dead, but he awakens and attacks Deke. Bill and Curtis rescue Deke and determine that Loman is indeed dead, but a truck then chases them back into the pipe. The next morning, a bulldozer and a platform truck drive to the truck stop. The angered Hendershot uses the rocket launcher to blow up the bulldozer but only succeeds in blowing its roof off, but the platform truck fires its post-mounted machine gun into the building, killing many including him and Wanda. The truck then demands, via sending morse code signals through its horn that Deke deciphers, that the humans pump the trucks' diesel for them in exchange for their lives. As the survivors realize that their own machines have enslaved them, Bill suggests that they escape to Haven, an island off the coast, on which no motorized vehicles are permitted. While the crew rests, Bill theorizes that the comet is actually a "broom" operated by interstellar aliens that are using Earth's machines to destroy humanity so the aliens can repopulate the Earth. The next day, during a fueling operation, Bill sneaks a grenade onto the platform truck, destroying it, then leads the party out of the diner via a sewer hatch to the main road just as the trucks and the bulldozer demolish the entire building. As the remaining people approach the marina, the ice cream truck appears, but Brett and Curtis open fire and destroy it. The Green Goblin truck stalks them to the marina and kills Brad, a trucker distracted by a diamond ring on a corpse's finger. After Bill destroys it with a hit from a rocket shot, the survivors board a sailboat and set sail for Haven. Two days later, the machines go silent when a UFO hiding in the comet's tail is destroyed by a Soviet space platform disguised as a weather satellite, equipped with nuclear missiles and a laser cannon. Six days later, Earth passes out of the comet's tail, and the survivors are still alive.

Eleven-year-old Randy Daytona becomes anxious when he learns that his father Peter has bet on his performance in the 1988 Summer Olympics table tennis tournament finals. During his semi-final game against Karl Wolfschtagg of the German Democratic Republic, Daytona is injured in an accident. Unable to continue, he loses the match. Loan sharks, in the employ of criminal mastermind Feng, murder his father, and Daytona leaves competitive ping-pong. Nineteen years later, Daytona is performing ping pong tricks on stage, but is fired after an incident when he accidentally causes an audience member to go into cardiac arrest. Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agent Ernie Rodriguez arrives and requests Daytona's assistance in arresting Feng for gunrunning. Feng's hidden jungle hideout hosts an underground table tennis tournament, and Daytona's invitation is a way for the FBI to infiltrate Feng's organization. When Daytona accepts, Rodriguez tells him to win enough championships that Feng's scouts notice him. After losing a local tournament, Daytona is apprenticed to a blind man named Wong, Feng's former mentor, in Chinatown. Daytona also meets Wong's niece, Maggie. When locals vandalize Wong's house for violating their edict against teaching White people ping-pong, Daytona is forced to play against "The Dragon", a young girl, in exchange for Wong's right to stay. After Daytona beats the Dragon and gets punched, Feng's men discover his win and bring Daytona, Rodriguez, and Wong to Feng's facility. Daytona defeats his first opponent, Freddy "Fingers" Wilson, but quickly learns that the tournament is literally sudden death — the loser is killed by a poisoned dart delivered by Feng's majordomo, Mahogany. After Daytona unsuccessfully tries escaping, Feng invites him to join his side and reveals that he only finished half of Wong's training. He says it would be the ultimate satisfaction to win Daytona away from Wong. Feng also shows Daytona his specially modified ping-pong table. It is wired to special vests that give increasingly powerful and fatal electrical shocks for failure. Daytona informs Rodriguez of a hidden cache of illegal guns that is sufficient to put Feng in jail and requests extraction, knowing that losing would mean death. While Rodriguez investigates the hidden facilities, Daytona defeats numerous opponents for his life. Daytona and Wolfschtagg were set for the final round. After Wolfschtagg insulted Daytona's late father, Daytona reneged on the extraction and attempted to call off Rodriguez's plan only for Rodriguez to hastily break his arm. Feng discovers Rodriguez's attempts to contact the FBI and forces Daytona to face Wolfschtagg, then substitutes Maggie. When Wolfschtagg protests, Feng kills him. Daytona plays southpaw and tries stalling for time. Maggie tries losing on purpose to sacrifice herself. However, Daytona uses his ping-pong expertise to hit Maggie with the ball. Enraged, Feng orders them both executed. Mahogany shoots her dart at Daytona, but Maggie thwarts her. Daytona throws the paddle back at Mahogany, killing her. The FBI swarms the place, during which Daytona and his friends attempt to escape, but are captured after Daytona fails to rescue Feng's slaves. Determined to find out who Wong's best pupil was, Feng plays Daytona using the modified vests. Daytona trips Feng's bodyguard during the game and activates the self-destruct sequence. Feng reveals they cannot turn off the suits. He also states that he changed the rules so that the ball can be bounced off any surface once and still be in play. The game moves through several buildings and finally onto a bridge over a nearby river. After Wong informs Daytona that Feng has a weak backhand, Daytona exploits his weakness, fatally electrocuting Feng as he falls into the river. Daytona and his friends, along with Feng's slaves, escape in Wong's boat before the facility explodes. Two months later, the major characters reunite for the reopening of Wong's rebuilt Mushu shop while also still hosting ping-pong games. Wong inadvertently falls down the elevator shaft, to Randy, Rodriguez, and Maggie's shock.

Michael Cromwell is a self-absorbed commodities broker living in New York City. Wanting to marry his fiancée, Charlotte, he needs to obtain a divorce from his first wife, Patricia, who left him years earlier. She now lives with a semi-Westernized tribe in Canaima National Park, Venezuela. He travels there to get her signature on the divorce papers. Upon his arrival, she reveals that she was unknowingly pregnant when she left, and they have a son together, named Mimi-Siku, who is now 13. Michael attempts to bond with Mimi and promises to take him to New York City " when he is a man ". That night, Mimi undergoes the traditional rite of passage of the tribe, who then considers him to be a man. The tribal elder gives him a task to bring fire from the Statue of Liberty in order to become the next chief. A reluctant Michael brings Mimi to New York City with him. Charlotte is less than pleased about Mimi and his primitive ways. As Michael attempts to adapt Mimi to city life, cross-cultural misunderstandings occur. On climbing the Statue of Liberty to reach the torch, he is disappointed that the flame is not real. While staying at the home of Michael's business partner Richard Kempster, Mimi falls in love with his daughter, Karen. Richard resents Mimi's presence due to his influence over Karen and because he ate his prize-winning Poecilia latipinna fish. Richard freaks out when he sees Karen and Mimi together in a hammock and threatens to send her to an all-girls summer camp; Mimi also attempts to make amends by replacing Richard's fish with wild ones, but Richard is not appeased. The Kempsters and Michael are targeted by Alexei Jovanovic, a Russian mobster and caviar dealer who believes that they have cheated him in a business deal. He arrives at the Kempsters' home and tortures Richard for information. By fighting together and utilizing Mimi's hunting skills and his pet tarantula Maitika (who attacks whenever people scream), Michael and Mimi fight off Jovanovic and his minions. Before returning to the Amazon jungle, Mimi is given a satellite phone by Michael so they can stay in touch. He also presents him with a Statue of Liberty cigarette lighter, which produces fire from the torch and will fulfill his quest. In return, Mimi gives Michael a blowpipe and poisoned darts, telling him to practice and come to see him when he can hit flies. Shortly afterward, Michael finds himself disheartened by his relationship with Charlotte and attempts to kill a fly with his blowpipe on the trading floor of the New York Board of Trade. He hits it but also his hot-tempered boss Langston, who collapses asleep on the trading floor. Michael returns to Lipo-Lipo to see Mimi and Patricia, bringing the Kempsters along for a vacation. Karen and Mimi are reunited, and it is suggested that Michael and Patricia also resume their relationship. As the closing credits start rolling, Michael undergoes the rite of passage as Mimi did earlier.

On July 4, 2005, El Paso and Abilene, Texas are destroyed and hundreds of thousands are killed by twin nuclear attacks, sending the United States into a state of a Third World War, with the government re-introducing the draft. The PATRIOT Act extends authority, due to the overwhelming victory of the Republican Party, to US-IDENT, a new agency which keeps constant surveillance on citizens. In response to the recent fuel shortage in the wake of global warfare, the German company Treer designs "Fluid Karma", a generator of inexhaustible energy, which is propelled by the perpetual motion of ocean currents. Treer scientist Baron Von Westphalen seeks world domination using the leverage of his energy machine. In 2008 Los Angeles, Senator and GOP Vice-Presidential candidate Bobby Frost (who also seeks the presidency itself) presides over the opening of US-IDENT with his wife, Nana Mae Frost, installed as its director. Right-wing film star Boxer Santaros awakens on the beach with amnesia after a three-day disappearance. He does not remember his marriage to Senator Frost's daughter Madeline, and has instead begun an affair with former porn star turned-talk show host Krysta Now. Meanwhile, a group of Neo-Marxist revolutionaries composed of Cyndi Pinziki, Zora Carmichaels and Ronald Taverner hatch a plan to turn the national spotlight against US-IDENT. They have kidnapped Ronald's twin brother, police officer Roland, and plan to outfit Ronald in his uniform and car in order to stage a racially motivated double-murder. They have Boxer bring a video camera as he goes with Ronald, under the guise of preparing for a police officer role for his screenplay. Ronald responds to a staged domestic disturbance call where Neo-Marxists Dream and Dion, disguised as newlyweds, fake an argument. Unexpectedly, another cop, Bart Bookman arrives on the scene, murders Dream and Dion, and takes the camera. Bookman is revealed to be in cahoots with Zora when she later attacks Ronald with fluid karma, leaving him unconscious in the street. The next day, Krysta stops by Zora's apartment and takes the videotape of the double murder, mistaking it for her sex tape. At the Santa Monica beach, she puts it in a Neo-Marxist dropbox, leading to the contents later being made public, and Zora and Bookman are shot dead by police while attempting to steal back the tape. Boxer arrives at the beach and meets Starla, who called him earlier posing as a character from his screenplay, and threatens to kill herself if he does not allow her to perform oral sex on him. Iraq War veteran Private Pilot Abilene shoots her dead from his perch at the top of the pier and Boxer runs off, only to be confronted by supposed friend Fortunio, who knocks him unconscious and returns him to the Frosts. Nearby, Ronald awakens and sets out to find his brother. He encounters a young man named Martin Kefauver in an SUV and stops him from killing himself to avoid the draft, and the two go out in search for Roland, who earlier escaped the Neo-Marxist headquarters during a US-IDENT raid, only to be captured by Walter Mung, an ice cream truck-based arms dealer. The Frosts and the city prepare for an upper-class party on Von Westphalen's Mega- Zeppelin to celebrate its launch. Boxer leaves the main hall of the ship in search of answers, and finds a room with three of Westphalen's scientists, who explain that he was selected to travel through a time rift in the desert at the time of his disappearance, and is, in fact, his future self. The scientists show him the corpse of his past self, who they say killed himself. Boxer asserts that his suicide is impossible because he is a "pimp", and "pimps don't commit suicide." One of the scientists also states that dire consequences would unfold if two identical human souls were to make physical contact. Boxer presses Serpentine for details, revealing that Boxer was actually murdered in a car bomb and that Roland was the one who kidnapped Boxer and drove him through the rift. She also confirms that Roland and Ronald are the same person, with his past and present self coexisting. Outside where the city is, as a firefight ensues between rioters and the police, both Taverners crash into each other. Roland is shot in the eye but survives. Inside the ice cream truck, the Taverners hold hands, causing the truck to rise into the air along with Kefauver, who stands on top with a shoulder-mounted heat-seeking ground-to-air missile. US-IDENT headquarters is raided by Fortunio and rioters who kill Nana Mae Frost. Inside the Zeppelin, Boxer returns to the main hall and takes the stage for a dance number involving Krysta and his wife, Madeline. He interrupts the number to order an evacuation, or else he will kill himself. Kefauver fires a rocket at the Zeppelin, destroying it, and jumps off the truck. As the Taverners continue to hold hands, a time rift begins to grow in the sky. Roland threatens Ronald with suicide if he does not let go and tells him to "remember Fallujah". Ronald replies that it was not their fault, with Roland conceding that it was friendly fire. Abilene narrates that a new age is beginning, with Roland as its Messiah, concluding that he is a "pimp" and that "pimps don't commit suicide."

Best friends Dave Goodman, Sam Schecter, and Jeff Davis have spent almost four years at Holden University scamming their way through college. During one exam scam in their final semester, Dave meets Angela Patton and asks her out while writing his phone number on her exam sheet. Ethan Dulles (who calls himself "Cool Ethan"), a nerdy student who is obsessed with Angela, observes Dave and grows jealous. Ethan takes Angela's exam question sheet after she leaves and uses it to blackmail the guys into setting up a successful date for him with Angela. The guys set Ethan up in multiple situations to try to convince Angela to like him, while Dave tells Sam during their research that Angela is no more important to him than any other scam they have pulled. Ethan fails to attract her after frequent confrontations based on his delusional behaviour, immaturity, and flouting of social norms. While trying to convince Angela to go out with Ethan, Dave and Angela develop a mutual attraction. After telling Ethan that he has failed to convince Angela to go out with him, Ethan reveals to Dave that he has been obsessing over Angela for quite some time. He reminds Dave that he still intends to get Dave and his friends expelled if they fail him. Angela and Dave go on an impromptu date after a study session. Ethan finds out, follows, and records them. Dave and Angela share a romantic swim and lovemaking session, which Ethan records. He shows the tape of Dave and Angela making love to Sam and Jeff to establish that Dave intends to keep Angela for himself. Sam and Jeff, unhappy with Dave's dishonesty, hand over their research on Angela. Ethan shows Angela the file, telling her that Dave and his friends were actively stalking her. Dave punches Ethan in the face, but Ethan thinks he won Angela. After a falling-out with everyone, Dave returns to the dorm and admits to Sam and Jeff that he genuinely cares for Angela. After making amends, the guys sabotage Ethan's job interview with a law firm, and, during the final exam, Dave confesses to Angela in front of the whole class about his years-long practice of cheating. Jeff plants an answer key in Ethan's backpack while tipping off the teaching assistant proctoring the exam. The men get expelled, but Dave and Angela get back together, and Sam ends up in a relationship with Angela's roommate, Reanna Cass. Jeff falsifies their diplomas from Holden University after Angela and Reanna graduate. Ethan, miserable that he lost Angela forever and got expelled from college after it was revealed he was stalking her, continues to work his dead-end restaurant job, as he continues to pine for Angela and nurse a hatred for Dave.

Sam Simms is an ambitious Secret Service agent assigned by his superior, Wilkes, to protect President Paul Davenport's rebellious 13-year-old son, Luke Davenport, after Luke's behavior causes another agent, Woods, to be replaced for mistreating Luke in front of media cameras. Simms sees this assignment as undesirable, but a possible stepping stone to protecting the President. He fails to connect with the boy at first, and Luke continues to misbehave. After seeing Luke get beat up by the school bully, Rob MacArthur, Luke's parents punish him, even though he didn't start the fight. Because of the re-election, they can't risk Luke going out in public for a month while his parents are on the campaign trail. Simms feels sorry for him - he had felt alone as a teenager, too (he lost his father in Vietnam while his mother worked several jobs to financially support him) - and they become friends. Simms, a former boxer, agrees to sneak Luke out against the wishes of his parents and teach him how to fight. Meanwhile, Luke agonizes over asking the cutest girl, Katie Warren, to the school dance, which he finally does successfully with Simms's help. However, while Simms and Luke are practicing some moves for the dance, the Secret Service director Morton tells them that they can't go to the dance due to an emergency lockdown. A duffel bag left unattended on the sidewalk outside the main entrance is being investigated by the bomb squad. Simms, breaking the rules, takes Luke to the dance. There, Rob tries to attack Luke again while Simms is distracted, but this time, Luke puts him down. After that, Secret Service agents bust the school dance and retrieve Luke. Simms is fired and not allowed to speak with Luke, who is crushed that his friend has apparently "abandoned" him. Luke, under house arrest and with a homing device attached to him, receives advice from an online friend, Mongoose12, on how to escape the White House and meet him at a local mall. Luke agrees, but it is revealed that Mongoose12 was in fact former agent Woods, who abducts him. When Luke goes missing, Simms is given another chance to protect him. With the help of his friend and former colleague Harold (a paraplegic who owns a spy shop), he quickly tracks Luke to the mall using a tracking device Simms had discreetly planted on him. In a standoff, Woods says he was originally planning on returning Luke to the President so he could be a hero and get his job back, but now he wants to kill him instead, blaming Luke for making him lose his job, and even his wife. Woods tries to shoot Simms, but he takes cover and once Woods is out of bullets, Simms brings him down with a right uppercut. As other agents arrive, Woods tries to shoot Luke with a back-up revolver, but Simms jumps in front of Luke, causing him to take the intended bullet in his arm. Woods is also shot, subdued, and arrested by other arriving Secret Service agents for abduction, assault, discharging a firearm in a public place unlawfully, and attempted murder. Simms is offered Presidential duty, which he declines in order to stay with Luke full time. This means he can also spend more time with Luke's biology teacher, with whom he has formed a romantic relationship.

Absentminded professor Philip Brainard is developing a new energy source, hoping to save Medfield College from closure. His preoccupation with his research has caused him to miss two wedding dates, much to the ire of his fiancée, college president Sara Jean Reynolds. On their third attempted wedding day, Brainard is approached by his former partner Wilson Croft of rival Rutland College, who has profited from stealing his ideas and now intends to steal Sara. While preparing for the wedding, Brainard has a breakthrough with the help of his robot assistant Weebo, who is secretly in love with him. Their experiment results in a sentient green goo with enormous elasticity and kinetic energy, which wreaks havoc on the neighborhood before the professor recaptures it. Weebo classifies the substance as "flying rubber", leading Brainard to christen it "Flubber". Working on Flubber into the following morning, Brainard realizes too late that he has again missed his own wedding. He unsuccessfully attempts to explain his absence to a heartbroken Sara, leaving Brainard determined to prove Flubber's worth and win her back. Medfield College's wealthy sponsor Chester Hoenicker, who is threatening to close the school, sends his henchmen Smith and Wesson to persuade Brainard to give Hoenicker's entitled son Bennett a better grade. Brainard, too busy experimenting with Flubber, unknowingly subdues the goons with a Flubber-coated golf ball and bowling ball. Brainard also uses Flubber to enable his vintage Ford Thunderbird to fly, and overhears Wilson make a flirtatious bet with Sara about Medfield's upcoming basketball game against Rutland. Struggling to confess her feelings for the professor, Weebo creates a holographic human version of herself and tries to kiss a sleeping Brainard, but he awakens with another idea for Flubber. Sneaking into the vacant basketball arena, he tests the effects of Flubber on a basketball and his shoes, allowing him to bounce incredibly far. At the game, he secretly applies Flubber to the abysmally unskilled Medfield team, enabling them to beat Rutland, but his attempt to win back Sara fails. Meanwhile, a mischievous Weebo releases Flubber to dance around the house. Returning home, Brainard talks to Weebo, declaring that his absentmindedness is due to his love for Sara. Weebo, putting the professor's happiness before her own, shows Sara footage of Brainard's declaration, and the couple reconciles. Brainard demonstrates Flubber's abilities to Sara, but Hoenicker has discovered Flubber's profitable potential, offering to buy it and forgive the college's debt. Brainard and Sara refuse, making a deal with the Ford Motor Company instead and saving the college. Hoenicker sends Smith and Wesson to raid Brainard's house, where Weebo attempts to fend them off but is destroyed as they steal Flubber. Mourning the loss of his beloved robot, Brainard discovers a farewell video from Weebo along with a backup of herself, her "daughter" Weebette. Brainard and Sara confront Hoenicker under the guise of selling him additional Flubber, and discover he is in league with Wilson. Unleashing Flubber, Brainard and Sara defeat Wilson, the Hoenickers, and their henchmen. Sometime later, Brainard saves Medfield from closing with Flubber and the happy couple finally have a successful wedding and embark on their honeymoon to Hawaii in the flying Ford Thunderbird with Weebette and Flubber.

The film begins with the alien abduction on Scalleum, a remote island off the coast of Wales, of Cat Williams and her boyfriend. Cat's boyfriend is gorily killed through brutal anal probing, and Cat is (also gorily) implanted with an alien fetus. Cat's story attracts the attention of Michelle "Foxy" Fox, the bosomy host of the cable TV show Weird Worlde, who brings a film crew to the island — her cameraman boyfriend Ricky; Jack the sound man; nerdy UFO expert Gavin Gorman; and actors Bruce Barton and Candy Vixen (the latter, Foxy's producer assures her, "because she's good, not because she's my girlfriend"). The island is accessible via a narrow causeway only at low tide. The Weird Worlde crew sets out in their van, but it is dark by the time they reach the Williams family's creepy farmhouse, where they meet Cat and her three hulking and sadistic brothers (who speak only Welsh with English subtitles). The crew (with the exception of Gavin Gorman) initially assume that Cat's story is a hoax, and even go so far as to make a crop circle in a nearby field so they can film it for the show, to Gorman's great disgust. However, it soon turns out that the aliens are all too real and rather malevolent. The film crew teams up with the Welsh Williams brothers to fight off the aliens, with a great deal of blood and gore. One highlight features Ricky running down some aliens in a combine harvester, to the tune of " Combine Harvester (Brand New Key) " by The Wurzels. Eventually, the alien child inside Cat claws its way out; on board the alien ship, Foxy is impregnated with another alien fetus while Gavin loses his virginity to a shapely female alien; Bruce, Candy, and the Welsh brothers meet various horrible demises; Ricky blows up himself and four alien pursuers in a tank of liquid manure; back at the house, the female alien rips Foxy in half; and finally Gavin manages to use his laptop (in a sequence reminiscent of Independence Day) to overload the ley lines of the nearby stone circle. As Cat's alien child rips his arms off, Gavin manages to press the space bar with his nose, sending the stones shooting into the underside of the alien craft, which crashes into a convenient mountain. Jack the sound man, meanwhile, having been blinded by alien ichor early in the film, swims across the channel to the mainland, only to discover that he's lost the videotape that was the only proof of their extraterrestrial encounter. The film ends with a clip from an alien talk show reminiscent of Jerry Springer (and subtitled in English), on which Gavin's female alien is trying to explain how her entire crew was killed by humans and she herself carries the love child of one of those humans. The audience roars with laughter, and the host cuts her mike.

Astérix and Obélix must win the Olympic Games in Greece in order to help their friend Lovesix marry Greek princess Irina. Brutus uses every trick in the book to have his own team win the game and get rid of his father Julius Caesar in the process. The film is loosely adapted from the original Asterix at the Olympic Games comic book. The love story subplot between Lovesix and Irina was not featured in the original story. Brutus, portrayed here as a comical villain with no relation to his depictions in Asterix comics, is the main antagonist, although he was not even featured as a character in the original comic book.