Florist shop owner Gravis Mushnick has two employees, Audrey Fulquard and Seymour Krelboined. Located on skid row, Mushnick's rundown shop gets little business. When Seymour fouls up a floral arrangement for dentist Dr. Farb, Mushnick fires him. Hoping to change his mind, Seymour talks about a plant he has grown from seeds he got from a "Japanese gardener over on Central Avenue". Seymour names the plant "Audrey Jr.", which delights Audrey. However, when finally shown the plant, Mushnick is unimpressed. Seymour suggests that Audrey Jr.'s uniqueness might attract people to see it, and Mushnick gives him one week to revive the plant. The usual plant food does not nourish it, but when Seymour accidentally pricks his finger, he discovers that the plant craves blood. Fed on Seymour's blood, Audrey Jr. begins to grow. The shop's revenues increase when customers are lured in to see the plant. Mushnick tells Seymour to refer to him as "Dad" and calls Seymour his son in front of a customer. The plant develops the ability to speak and demands that Seymour feed it. Now anemic, Seymour walks along the railroad track. Throwing a rock to vent his frustration, he inadvertently knocks out a drunken man who falls on the track and is run over by a train. He tries to get rid of the body by burying it in a yard but is nearly caught each time. Guilt-ridden, Seymour decides to feed the mutilated body parts to Audrey Jr. Meanwhile, Mushnick returns to the shop to get cash and secretly observes Seymour feeding the plant. Mushnick considers telling the police but hesitates after seeing the line of customers at his shop the next day. Seymour eventually arrives too, suffering from a toothache. Mushnick confronts him about Audrey Jr.'s eating habits without explicitly revealing what he knows about the plant. Seymour grows increasingly distressed as he realizes that Mushnick knows the truth. After finishing his rant, Mushnick sends Seymour to Farb, who wants to kill him and get even for his ruined flowers. Defending himself, Seymour kills Farb. Although horrified, Seymour feeds Farb's body to Audrey Jr. The disappearances of the two men attract the attention of Sergeant Joe Fink and his assistant Officer Frank Stoolie. Audrey Jr. grows several feet tall and is budding. A representative of the Society of Silent Flower Observers of Southern California announces that Seymour will receive a trophy and that she will return to the shop when the plant's buds open. While Seymour and Audrey go on a date, Mushnick stays at the shop to see that Audrey Jr. harms no one else. While tending to his shop, Mushnick finds himself at the mercy of Kloy Haddock, a robber who pretended to be a customer earlier that day. Haddock believes that the huge crowds he observed at the shop indicate the presence of a lot of money. Mushnick tricks Haddock into thinking that the money is where Audrey Jr. is kept. The plant eats Haddock after Mushnick maneuvers him next to it. When forced to damage his relationship with Audrey to keep her from discovering Audrey Jr.'s nature, Seymour confronts the plant, planning to no longer do its bidding. The plant then hypnotizes Seymour and commands him to bring it more food. He wanders the night streets and knocks out a prostitute, whom he takes to Audrey Jr. Lacking clues about the disappearances, Fink and Stoolie attend a sunset celebration at the shop during which Seymour is to be presented with the trophy and Audrey Jr.'s buds are expected to bloom. As the attendees watch, four buds open; inside each flower is the face of one of Audrey Jr.'s victims. Fink and Stoolie realize that Seymour is the murderer. Seymour flees from the shop with the officers in pursuit. He manages to lose them and make his way back to the now-empty shop, where he blames Audrey Jr. for ruining his life. The plant instead asks to be fed. Seymour grabs a kitchen knife and climbs into Audrey Jr.'s maw with the intention of killing it. Later that evening, Audrey Jr. begins to wither and die. One final bloom opens to reveal Seymour's face, who shouts "I didn't mean it!" Before Wilting.

Buckaroo Banzai and his mentor Dr. Tohichi Hikita perfect the "oscillation overthruster", a device that allows an object to pass through solid matter. Banzai tests it by driving his Jet Car through a mountain. While in transit, he finds himself in another dimension. After exiting the mountain and returning to his normal dimension, he discovers an alien organism has attached itself to his car. Dr. Emilio Lizardo, incarcerated at the Trenton Home for the Criminally Insane, sees a television news story of Banzai's successful test. In 1938, Drs. Lizardo and Hikita had built a prototype overthruster in Princeton, New Jersey, but he tested it before it was ready and became stuck between dimensions. In those moments, he saw alien creatures and struggled until freed by his colleagues, emerging crazily changed and violent. Understanding that Banzai has finally accessed the 8th dimension, Lizardo escapes the asylum and plots to steal the overthruster. Banzai and his band, "The Hong Kong Cavaliers", are performing at a nightclub when Banzai interrupts their musical intro to speak to a sad woman in the audience, Penny Priddy. During a song he performs especially for her (" Since I Don't Have You "), she attempts to shoot herself, which is mistaken for an assassination attempt on Banzai. After questioning her at the New Brunswick jail, he realizes she is his late wife Peggy's long-lost identical twin sister and bails her out. Later, during a press conference to discuss his Jet Car experience, the overthruster, and the specimen of alien/transdimensional life he obtained while traversing the 8th dimension, Banzai is called to the phone, where he receives an electrical shock. Simultaneously, strange men disrupt the event and kidnap Hikita. When Banzai returns, his electrical shock enables him to recognize them as humanoid aliens, and he gives chase. He rescues Hikita, and they evade the aliens long enough for the Cavaliers to rescue them. Banzai and the Cavaliers return to the Banzai Institute, where they are met by John Parker, a messenger from John Emdall, the leader of the peaceful Black Lectroids of Planet 10. Parker delivers a recording from Emdall in which she explains that her people have been at war with the hostile Red Lectroids for years, managing to banish them to the 8th dimension. Lizardo's failed test of the overthruster in 1938 allowed the Red Lectroids' tyrannical leader, Lord John Whorfin, to take over Lizardo's mind and enable several dozen of his allies to escape. Because Banzai has now perfected the overthruster, Emdall fears Whorfin and his allies will try to acquire it to free the other Red Lectroids and tasks Banzai with stopping Whorfin; otherwise, the Black Lectroids will attack Russia from their orbiting ship, triggering a nuclear World War III that will annihilate the Red Lectroids on Earth as well as humankind. The Cavaliers track the Red Lectroids to Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems in New Jersey. They realize that Orson Welles 's broadcast of The War of the Worlds described the Lectroids' arrival in Grovers Mill, New Jersey in 1938, though afterward the Lectroids forced him to state it was fictional. Yoyodyne has been building a spacecraft to cross over to the 8th dimension, disguised as a new United States Air Force bomber. While the Cavaliers plan their response, Red Lectroids break into the Institute and kidnap Penny, unaware that they have also captured the overthruster, which she was carrying. At Yoyodyne, Penny refuses to tell the Red Lectroids where the overthruster is, and they begin torturing her. Banzai enters Yoyodyne headquarters alone; the Cavaliers soon follow, reinforced by several groups of the Blue Blaze Irregulars—civilians recruited to assist the Cavaliers. Banzai saves Penny and fights off the Red Lectroids, though she is wounded and unconscious. While the Cavaliers tend to her, Banzai and Parker sneak into a pod on the Yoyodyne spacecraft. Lacking Banzai's overthruster, Whorfin insists they use his imperfect model, which fails to make the dimensional transition; instead, the Red Lectroid spaceship breaks through the Yoyodyne wall and takes off into the atmosphere. Lord Whorfin ejects the pod containing Banzai and Parker from the craft, but they activate it and use its weapon systems to destroy Whorfin and the other Red Lectroids. Banzai parachutes back to Earth while Parker returns to his people in orbit using the pod. With the situation resolved and war averted, Banzai finds Penny, who appears to have died from her injuries. When he gives her a farewell kiss, Emdall allows Banzai one more brief moment of electricity, reviving Penny.

Actress Samantha Taylor throws a surprise 42nd birthday party for her boyfriend, the wealthy and famous composer George Webber. During it, George finds that he is coping badly with his age. From his car, George glimpses a bride on her way to be married and is instantly obsessed with her beauty. Following her to the church, he crashes into a police cruiser, is stung by a bee and nearly disrupts the wedding ceremony. Later that night, Sam and George argue over his treatment of women and his habit of spying on the intimate acts of a neighbor with his consent. George later visits the minister who performed the wedding and learns that the woman is Jenny Miles, daughter of a prominent Beverly Hills dentist. The following day, while spying on his neighbor, George hits himself with the telescope and falls down an embankment, causing him to miss Sam's phone call. Still obsessed with Jenny, he schedules a dental appointment with her father and learns that Jenny and her husband David have gone to Mexico for their honeymoon. The effects of a large amount of treatment accompanied by a heavy dose of novocaine, aggravated by immediate heavy drinking, leave George completely incoherent. Sam finally reaches him on the phone, but mistakes him for an intruder and calls the police, who hold George at gunpoint while trying to understand his gibberish. George visits his neighbor's house to take part in an ongoing orgy, but Sam spots him through his telescope, widening the rift between them. George impulsively boards a plane to follow the newlyweds to their exclusive resort in Mexico. In the bar, George encounters old acquaintance Mary Lewis, who lacks self-confidence. When they attempt a fling, Mary interprets George's inadequacy in bed as confirmation of her own insecurities. At the beach, George sees Jenny in a swimsuit and is awestruck again by her beauty. Noticing that her husband has fallen asleep on a surfboard, George rents a catamaran and rescues David, making him a hero. Sam sees George on a TV newscast and tries to contact him unsuccessfully. David is hospitalized with sunburn, allowing Jenny and George to spend time alone together. Jenny smokes marijuana and seduces George while playing Ravel 's " Boléro," but he is horrified when Jenny takes a call from David and casually informs him of George's presence. George is even more confused with David's complete lack of concern. Jenny explains that she is in an open marriage and married David only because of pressure from her conservative father. George leaves after realizing that Jenny sees their tryst as nothing more than a casual fling. After flying home, George reconciles with Sam by performing an apologetic new song and demonstrating greater maturity. He suggests getting married, but they agree that they should first work on arguing less and having sex more. George takes an idea from Jenny when he starts "Boléro" on his phonograph and has sex with Sam in full view of the neighbor's telescope. However, the neighbor has already stopped watching out of frustration that he provides erotic entertainment for George and gets nothing in return.

In Melbourne, Errol Wallace is a financial business consultant whom we meet in the course of his being hired by the board of Durmack, an automotive component manufacturer, where he assesses a large work force redundancy and recommends major layoffs. Balls, a moccasin factory located in the Melbourne suburb of Spotswood, is his next client. Mr. Ball, the owner of the company, is affable and treats his employees benevolently. Wallace on a factory tour finds the conditions wanting with shabbiness, old machinery and the workers lackadaisical. A young worker at Balls, Carey, who is finding his place in the world and life, is asked by Wallace to assist in his review, compiling worker condition and performance information. Carey is reluctant until he learns that Mr. Ball's daughter Cheryl, whom he fancies, is part of the review staff. Wallace learns that there is an instigator in the midst, his colleague Jerry, who leaks the Durmack report, inflating the quantity of sackings as a means to demoralise the union. Kim Barry, a salesman at Balls who also has his sights set on the boss's daughter, shows his ruthlessness and ulterior motives when he comes to Wallace's home one night with a complete set of the company financial records that detail non-existent profit for years and reveal that Ball has been selling off company assets to keep the outfit afloat. Wallace realises that whatever productivity improvements have been implemented are not enough to save the company even with an elimination of workers and yet that is his recommendation. Mr. Ball responds, "It's not just about dollars and cents. It's about dignity, treating people with respect". Wallace's mind set starts to change when his car is vandalised and some Ball workers come to his aid, workers who then start to include him in their off-hours activities. Mr. Ball announces the work force redundancies and Wallace is clearly uncomfortable seeing them, knowing that it was his recommendation that sealed their fate. The union at Durmack capitulates and management celebrates with a party during which Wallace becomes further disenchanted by what he sees as the rash sackings. He then realises that Balls may have a competitive advantage that could potentially make the company profitable. If Balls stop trying to compete on price on a few products, but instead have a very large product range, then all the perceived inefficiencies (old machinery and a large number of highly skilled experienced workers), become opportunities for growth. Carey realises he has feelings for his work mate and friend Wendy and together they climb up onto the roof of the factory and hold hands. In the final shot, they look out over the West Gate Bridge, which opened in 1978 - an ending which deliberately leaves it ambiguous as to when the film is actually set.

In San Francisco, sous-chef Tom, and PhD graduate Violet, are happily engaged. Their wedding plans are interrupted when Tom's best friend Alex gets Violet's sister Suzie pregnant at Tom and Violet's engagement party, and Alex and Suzie quickly marry. When Violet is accepted into the University of Michigan 's two-year post-doctorate psychology program, Tom agrees to move with her and delay their wedding. Later, he is disheartened to learn his boss planned to make him head chef. Unable to find a suitable chef's position in Michigan, Tom is resigned to working at Zingerman's deli and takes up hunting with Bill, a fellow university faculty spouse. Violet settles into her new job under professor Winton Childs, working with Doug, Ming, and Vaneetha. A prank results in Violet being chosen to lead the team's research project, studying people who choose to eat stale donuts rather than wait for fresh ones to arrive. Tom and Violet's nuptials are further delayed when Winton receives funding from the National Institutes of Health with Violet's help and extends her program. Tom is upset by the news, and he and Violet fight over his unhappiness with their new life. As years pass, Tom becomes disillusioned and obsessed with hunting. Alex, Suzie, and their daughter Vanessa visit, and reveal Suzie is pregnant again. Tom responds that he no longer wants to have a child, surprising Violet, who offers to look after Vanessa with him, but the night turns into a disaster after Vanessa shoots Violet with Tom's crossbow. Tom's downward spiral becomes evident when Violet sees him eat a stale donut. At a bar with colleagues, a drunken Violet and Winton kiss, which Violet instantly regrets. She tells Tom that she wants to plan their wedding immediately, and he happily agrees. When Violet confesses to kissing Winton, Tom loses faith in their relationship, which reaches a climax when Winton comes to their rehearsal dinner to apologize. Tom chases Winton away, then leaves to get drunk alone. He runs into Margaret, an amorous co-worker, but opts not to have sex with her, and wakes up half-naked in the snow with a frostbitten toe, which is amputated. Violet visits Tom at the hospital, and they call off their engagement once they arrive home. Violet starts a relationship with Winton but often reminisces about Tom. He wishes her a happy birthday via email, including a video of Ming's ridiculous experiment on his friend Tarquin. Violet calls Tom, who has returned to San Francisco, working as a sous-chef under Alex and dating the hostess, Audrey. Their friendly-but-awkward conversation takes a turn as they argue over Violet's stale donuts experiment as a metaphor for their relationship, and both end the call upset. Realizing Tom's unhappiness, Alex fires him out of love, telling him that he is the better chef and should open his own establishment. So, Tom launches a popular taco truck. Violet receives an assistant professorship but learns she was hired because she is dating Winton, and breaks up with him. After lunch with his parents, Tom decides to win Violet back and breaks up with Audrey. He surprises Violet at her grandmother's funeral in England, and they agree to spend the remainder of the summer together in San Francisco, rekindling their relationship while sharing an apartment and working in the taco truck. Driving Violet to the airport, Tom offers to take his truck to Michigan and continue their relationship. Violet proposes to Tom at the side of the road, just as he did five years before, and Tom produces the ring he originally gave her, explaining that he was planning to re-propose at the airport. They head to Alamo Square, where Violet has organized their family and friends for an impromptu wedding. Tom chooses between Violet's various options for the officiant, clothing, and music, and they finally marry. Tom and Violet share their first kiss as a married couple, and the film flashes back to their first kiss when they first met at a New Year's Eve party. Alex and Suzie sing " Cucurrucucú paloma " on a carriage ride with the newlyweds.

In 1995, obese high school senior Chris Brander is secretly in love with his classmate and best friend Jamie Palamino. Confessing his feelings by writing in her yearbook, he attends their graduation party. As he returns Jamie's yearbook, it is swapped by her ex-boyfriend, Tim, who reads the declaration aloud to everyone, humiliating Chris. After kissing him on the cheek, Jamie admits she does not reciprocate his affections. He leaves the party in tears, announcing he will never return, and vows to be more successful than everyone else. Ten years later, a womanizing Chris has lost weight and lives in Los Angeles as a successful record producer and vice president of the company. Before Christmas, company CEO KC asks him to accompany emerging pop singer Samantha James to Paris so she signs with their label, and Chris reluctantly complies. While she wants a relationship with him, he has no interest after their only date previously led to his hospitalization. On the way to Paris, Samantha accidentally sets her private jet on fire, causing an emergency landing in New Jersey, near Chris' hometown. Chris takes Samantha to his mother's for the night and re-engages with his teenage past, including his unresolved feelings for Jamie. She meets his mother and 18-year-old brother Mike, a fan of Samantha. At a bar, he also sees Jamie, working as a bartender to pay for graduate school for teaching. Chris asks Mike to keep Samantha busy during his date with Jamie, but realizing their platonic friendship is important to him hampers his plan for them to have sex. During a friendly ice skating "day date", Chris is taken away in an ambulance after injuring himself during a hockey game. At the scene, Jamie is reunited with Dusty Dinkleman, a paramedic and former high school classmate also in love with her. Realizing Dusty only wants revenge sex with her, Chris tries to warn Jamie but instead attacks Dusty in front of her. She refuses to listen when he tries to explain. Consequently, he gets drunk and goes to Jamie's bar, finding her there with Dusty. When she gently declines Dusty's sexual advances, he storms out. Chris and Jamie get into another fight, where he blames her for keeping him in the friend zone and says she will never amount to anything. Furious, Jamie strikes Chris and he is tossed out. Upon returning to Los Angeles and rejecting Samantha again, Chris realizes that Jamie is his true love. He returns to New Jersey, apologizes to her, and declares his love before they kiss.

Michael Bannon, a wealthy but bored businessman and candymaker, issues the code word "Gumball" to his fellow automobile enthusiasts, who gather in a garage in New York City to embark on a coast-to-coast race "with no catalytic converter and no 55-mile-per-hour speed limit" in the shortest amount of time. There is only one rule: "There are no rules". Their longtime nemesis, Los Angeles Police Department Lieutenant Roscoe, who has been trying for years to arrest Bannon and his group, has flown in specially to attempt to shut down the race. He is unsuccessful, and the race begins early the next morning in spite of his momentary interference. Most of the film is devoted to the adventures of the various driving teams and Roscoe's ineffectual attempts to apprehend them. A number of running gags ensue – the Jaguar that will not start (and never even makes it off the starting line); the silent (and somewhat-psychotic) motorcyclist Lapchik's numerous mishaps; Italian race driver Franco Bertollini's frequent detours to seduce beautiful women – as well as some stunts and driving sequences, including the first moving car into moving tractor-trailer stunt later to become a trademark of Knight Rider, the typical sequence of workers carrying a large glass window only to have it shattered by a speeding vehicle, and a race in the Los Angeles River at the same location where Greased Lightning would defeat the Scorpions' Mercury in Grease. The race ends at the Queen Mary in Long Beach, California where the finishers celebrate their arrival and the defeated Roscoe sulks off to one side – until a fleet of police cars and tow trucks, summoned by Roscoe, arrive to impound the Gumball vehicles. Roscoe had contrived a plan to see to it that all of them were guaranteed to be illegally parked once the post-race party in the parking lot ran past 11 p.m. Bannon congratulates Roscoe on his final victory (final because Roscoe, who has been after Bannon and Smith since they were in high school, has reached mandatory retirement age). Contemplating how they will all return home without cars, he again utters the word "Gumball" to the assembled group to indicate a race back to New York. Lapchik, the last contestant to finish the race, roars through the parking lot with a stuck throttle and is launched out into the water.

Lawrence "Larry the Liquidator" Garfield is a corporate raider who has become wealthy by acquiring companies and selling off their assets. With the help of a computerized stock-analysis program called Carmen, he identifies the family-owned New England Wire & Cable Company as his next target. Although the Rhode Island company remains profitable overall, its aging Wire and Cable division is struggling, leading Lawrence to conclude that the company's assets are worth more than its market value. After failing to persuade company chairman Andrew "Jorgy" Jorgenson to sell the division, Lawrence begins acquiring shares in an effort to gain control of the company. Desperate to prevent a hostile takeover, Jorgy is persuaded by his wife Bea, and company president Bill Coles to hire his stepdaughter, corporate lawyer Kate Sullivan, who is not fond of Jorgy or his business. Lawrence becomes attracted to Kate and aggressively pursues her romantically. The pair agrees to a temporary truce, but both continue working behind the scenes to advance their positions: Kate encourages the board and its allies to acquire additional shares, while Lawrence continues purchasing stock through a front organization. Kate later obtains a temporary restraining order preventing Lawrence from buying further shares. Despite their professional rivalry, the relationship between Lawrence and Kate becomes increasingly flirtatious. Lawrence proposes exchanging his shares in the company for the Wire and Cable division, allowing him to profit from its assets while leaving Jorgy in control of the remaining business, but Jorgy refuses to sacrifice the jobs of the division's employees or surrender his family business to a man like Lawrence. Concerned about the company's future and his own financial security, Bill pressures Jorgy to accept a compromise. Instead, Jorgy decides to let the shareholders determine the company's future at the annual meeting, believing it is the only course he can accept. Kate persuades Lawrence to let the shareholders settle the matter. During their negotiations, Lawrence argues that he and Kate are alike, both caring more about winning than the people affected by the outcome. Seeking to protect his and his family's interests, Bill secretly approaches Lawrence and offers him the voting rights to his shares in exchange for compensation. Bea later meets with Lawrence herself, offering him $1 million to abandon the takeover, but he refuses. She chastizes him for his callous attitude towards the people affected by his actions. Afterward, Lawrence confronts Kate outside her apartment and unexpectedly proposes marriage, confessing that he has fallen in love with her and fears losing her once the takeover battle ends. Overwhelmed, Kate leaves without answering. On the day of the shareholders' meeting, Jorgy confides in Bea that he fears his values and methods have become outdated. Addressing the shareholders, Jorgy argues that businesses have responsibilities to their employees and the community, and warns against dismantling companies solely for financial gain. Lawrence responds that technological change has rendered the Wire and Cable division obsolete and urges shareholders to prioritize their own financial interests. When the votes are counted, Lawrence is given control of the company. Kate leaves, and the company is soon shuttered. Back in Manhattan, Lawrence finds little satisfaction in his victory. Kate telephones him with a new proposal: she has secured a long-term agreement with a Japanese company to manufacture stainless-steel wire cloth used in airbags, providing a potential future for Wire and Cable. She asks Lawrence to sell the company back to the employees so that they can modernize the plant and pursue the new opportunity. Intrigued, Lawrence excitedly agrees to discuss the proposal over dinner.

Investment banker Laurel Ayres is a smart and single woman trying to make it up the Wall Street corporate ladder, until one day she finds out that she is being passed over for a promotion because of her gender. Unable to face the fact that her less intelligent male protege, Frank Peterson, has now become her boss, she quits and tries to start up her own company only to find out that the male dominated world of Wall Street is not interested in taking an African American woman seriously, and thus is forced to create a fictional white man, Robert S. Cutty (inspired by a bottle of Cutty Sark) to legitimize her talents and make her professionally relevant in said world. Ayres does extensive research into the cultural and performative codes of the culture she seeks to impersonate. Ayres' financial wisdom is joined by the intelligent and computer-savvy secretary Sally Dugan, who also was not properly recognized for her talents. Together, they are able to become the most successful independent stockbrokers in the world while helping a struggling high-tech computer company stay afloat. However, the ruse eventually runs into problems because Cutty is still getting credit for Ayres' great ideas, while competing firms and tabloid journalists are willing to do anything in order to bring the wealthy and elusive Cutty into the public and on their side. Ayres is forced to recruit her best friend (who works at a nightclub as a female impersonator) to craft a disguise, complete with facial prosthetics, so she can appear as "Cutty" and fool the naysayers. When that fails, she and Dugan decide to kill Cutty, but the plan backfires, as they are then charged with his murder. Frank uncovers the ruse and blackmails the two women so he can be Cutty's front man. The film ends with Ayres donning the Cutty disguise one last time to attend a meeting of an exclusive gentlemen's club to accept Cutty's awards and unmasking herself in order to teach the male-dominated industry the evils of racial and sexual discrimination. Ayres is finally given credit for her work and creates a huge business empire with her friends at the helm. Frank is ridiculed when he attempts to land a job with the business.

Richard "Richie" Twat (Rik Mayall) and Edward "Eddie" Elizabeth Ndingombaba (Adrian Edmondson) run the Guest House Paradiso, the worst guest house in the United Kingdom. Following a staff exodus, the hotel begins rapidly bleeding customers, until the arrival of the Nice family, headed by Mr. Nice (Simon Pegg), and the famous Italian actress Gina Carbonara (Hélène Mahieu), on the run from her ill-tempered and criminal fiancé, Gino Bolognese (Vincent Cassel), reverse their fortunes. Due to the chef stealing all the food, Richie and Eddie resort to collecting radioactive fish salvaged from the nearby nuclear power station's lorries to serve for supper. Meanwhile, Gino tracks down Gina thanks to her residency being promoted to attract more guests. After convincing Gina to a sudden elopement, Gino then tries to rape her. However, after having consumed the radioactive fish, Gino, and the other guests at the hotel, suddenly grow violently ill. After discovering the disastrous effects their dinner is having, Richie and Eddie prepare their escape, but not before rescuing Gina from Gino. Gino proceeds to get caught in the crossfire of the projectile- vomiting guests, which pushes him out a window and off a cliff, where he meets his demise. Just before they can flee, government agents arrive, intending to enact a cover-up, and offer Richie and Eddie £10 million, first-class tickets to the Caribbean, and new identities for them and Gina, in exchange for their silence, which they promptly accept. In a post-credits scene, the three are at a beach bar called the Beach Bar Paradiso, where Eddie winks to the camera and says only Gino died, otherwise there'd be "a moral question-mark hanging over our escape."

In Los Angeles, a man known as Mr. Jigsaw murders Billie York because she possesses a microfilm containing a recipe that can turn cocaine into cookies. Her former partner, Wes Luger, who is about to retire, is assigned the case by the reluctant captain Doyle, who dismisses it as a suicide but gives Luger the case. The catch is that Luger will have to be partnered with Jack Colt, a burned out cop who recently lost his dog, Claire. The two visit Harold Leacher, who tells them that Colt's former general in the Vietnam War, Mortars, is heading the operation. Meanwhile, Jigsaw and Mortars visit Mike McCraken, whom Jigsaw murders for losing the microfilm. After finding the body, Colt and Luger go to Rick Becker, who claims that he laundered money with York (the money actually being in the laundry machine), but Rick is shot multiple times by unknown assailants, forcing Colt and Luger to go to the Wilderness Girls factory. The head, Destiny Demeanor, claims no knowledge of the operation during questioning, but she is revealed to be working for Mortars and his gang. Colt meets Luger's family, but he runs away when they try to seduce him. Destiny and Colt hang out at Colt's house, while Mortars sends a helicopter to destroy Colt's house (a trailer that is actually a mansion inside), but they accidentally destroy John McClane 's house. Due to lack of evidence, Doyle dismisses the case, but Colt still decides to stop the operation, much to the dismay of Luger. Luger is a by-the-book cop, after he took an unscheduled break from his crossing guard duties (as a child), which led to an old lady being run over by a car and killed. Colt breaks in and Destiny, now having fallen in love with Colt, attempts to stop Mortars, but Mortars shows that he was the one who kidnapped Claire, revealing Rick and Claire chained to a wall (Rick actually having survived the incident). Mortars shoots Destiny, who clings to life long enough to confess her feelings for Colt. Colt manages to catch up with Mortars, but then Luger shows up, having considered what Colt said to him earlier. He shoots and kills Mortars, and Colt kills Jigsaw, but starts a fire that destroys the whole factory. Doyle shows up, and asks Luger to stay in the force. Luger agrees, but as long as Colt is his partner. In the end, Destiny, having survived, shows up with Rick and Claire, and the team dances to " Bohemian Rhapsody ".

Just outside the small town of Crescent Cove, Mike Tobacco and his girlfriend Debbie Stone are spending time at the local lovers' lane when they witness the arrival of a strange glowing object. Nearby, a farmer, perceiving it as Halley's Comet, ventures into the woods to find the impact site. He eventually stumbles upon a circus tent-like structure, during which he is captured by clown-based extraterrestrials known as "Klowns". Arriving to investigate for themselves, Mike and Debbie enter the structure and discover a complex interior with bizarre rooms, eventually realizing that it is the object and a spaceship. They find the now-fleshless farmer encased in a cocoon made out of a cotton candy -like substance and are discovered by a Klown, which shoots popcorn at them from a bazooka-like weapon and then pursues them aided by other Klowns. Narrowly escaping to the local police station, they report the incident to Debbie’s ex-boyfriend Officer Dave Hanson and his curmudgeonly partner, Curtis Mooney. Mike takes Dave to the site of the ship, only to find it missing with a large crater left in its place, prompting Dave to apprehend Mike for his supposed tall tale. The duo then visit the lovers' lane, only to find it abandoned and one of the cars filled with the cocoon's substance, proving the Klowns' existence and Mike's innocence. All the while, the Klowns are seen encasing townspeople in more of their cocoons using toy-like rayguns. Several of them pull pranks and mock circus acts, which result in the deaths of several onlookers. Mike and Dave eventually witness a Klown using a form of shadow play to shrink a crowd of people at a bus stop, then dump them into a bag filled with popcorn, which are later revealed to be its species' larval form. Back at the police station, another Klown arrives and Mooney, believing it to be a delinquent, attempts to incarcerate it. Dave soon returns to the station and encounters the Klown using a deceased Mooney as a ventriloquist's dummy before shooting its fragile nose, which causes the Klown to spin around wildly and explode into confetti. Mike meets with his friends, Rich and Paul Terenzi, and, using the public address system on their ice cream truck, drive around town attempting to warn people of the Klowns. At Debbie's house, some of the Klowns' larvae from her and Mike's earlier encounter with them evolves into juvenile Klowns and attacks her. As she attempts to escape, she is intercepted by the other Klowns, who detain her in a giant balloon. Mike, the Terenzi brothers and Dave witness Debbie's capture and give chase, following the Klowns to the local amusement park, where they have relocated their ship. Journeying through a funhouse, the Terenzis become separated from the group. After Dave and Mike infiltrate the ship and witness a Klown drinking the blood of one of their cocooned victims, they rescue Debbie and flee deeper into it. The trio find themselves surrounded by a legion of Klowns, but the Terenzis arrive in their ice cream truck and attempt to distract them. The Klowns' gargantuan leader, Jojo the Klownzilla, appears and destroys the truck, seemingly killing the brothers. Dave creates a diversion as Mike and Debbie escape before the ship begins to take off. He then uses his badge to shatter Jojo's nose, vanquishing it and destroying the ship. The Klowns' car drops out of the sky and Dave emerges along with the Terenzis, the latter of whom miraculously survived by hiding in the ice cream truck's freezer moments before it was destroyed. As Dave, Mike and Debbie watch the fireworks created by the ship's destruction, pies fall from the sky and land on their faces.