In 1971, a policeman pulls over Elmo McElroy, a recent college graduate with a degree, for driving under the influence of marijuana. Due to his arrest and conviction, McElroy cannot find work as a pharmacologist. In the present day, drug lord "the Lizard" calls a meeting of his colleagues, hoping to sell a new substance invented by Elmo. During the meeting, in a bid to escape from the Lizard's manipulation, Elmo blows up the building, killing everyone but the Lizard. Enraged, the Lizard contacts contract killer Dakota, who previously killed the only witness in a case against the Lizard. Dakota reluctantly accepts when the Lizard offers to clear her gambling debts and give her a $250,000 bonus. Felix DeSouza, a local " fixer " in Liverpool, has been sent by Leopold Durant, head of a local criminal organization, to collect Elmo from Manchester airport, in exchange for two tickets to a sold-out football match between Liverpool and Manchester United. En route to the airport, Felix enters a pub full of Manchester United supporters and antagonizes them before letting off a rocket flare inside; the United fans give chase but his friends rescue him in their car. Elmo lands in Manchester, is greeted by Felix and is taken to the meeting with Durant. At the meeting, Elmo pitches POS 51, a synthetic drug that can be produced with minimal facilities and is 51 times as potent as other drugs. A second opinion from Pudsey, Durant's chemist, confirms Elmo's claims, and Durant gives him over a million dollars in bonds. Since it is $18 million short of the agreed payment, Elmo refuses to sell. On a roof across the street, Dakota is about to shoot Elmo in the head when the Lizard calls cancelling the hit; not wanting to kill Elmo until he has the formula. Instead of killing Elmo, she is to kill anyone who meets with him. She ends up killing everyone but Durant, Elmo, and Felix, who is shot in the buttocks. As Elmo and Felix leave the hotel, skinheads who want the drug attack them. Elmo protects them with a golf club. Detective Virgil Kane and his partner Arthur arrive on the scene and give chase. They are soon lured into a game of chicken by Elmo, who escapes. Kane and Arthur return to the crime scene and Kane demands 50% of Durant's deal with McElroy. A miscommunication leads to Durant's death. Felix contacts a gun dealing club owner and drug distributor named Iki, promising him the formula for £20 million. As Elmo and Felix acquire the ingredients necessary for the drug's manufacture, all of which are over-the-counter products, the now-armed skinheads take them hostage. The skinheads claim they have a lab, though it turns out to be a broken-in animal testing facility. Elmo makes two batches of the drug; one blue and one red. Elmo claims that the red pill is the stronger version, and after he takes one, the skinheads try it. While they are partying, waiting for the effect of the drug, Elmo secretly spits out his red pill. He tells Felix it is a powerful laxative; Elmo and Felix leave after throwing rolls of toilet paper at the incapacitated skinheads. At Iki's rave club, Elmo initiates his deal and delivers the drug to the waiting crowd. Kane and the police interrupt the deal and arrest Felix. After appearing, Dakota reveals that her real name is Dawn and that she and Felix were domestic partners. She abducts Elmo, leaving with him via the roof. Elmo overpowers her, suspending her over the edge of the roof. Having no choice, she strikes a deal with him and they escape Kane. Meanwhile, Kane blackmails Felix during an interrogation and forces himself into the deal with Iki, which Felix sets up for him. Felix, Elmo and Dawn meet Iki in a private viewing box at the football match at Anfield. This time, the deal is interrupted by the Lizard, who kills Iki and demands the formula to POS 51. The Lizard celebrates with a drink, as Elmo reveals that the drug is a placebo and POS stands for Power of Suggestion. Kane interrupts them as Elmo's cocktail, an explosive ingested by the Lizard, takes effect, killing the Lizard. Kane is knocked unconscious and arrested by Arthur, while the main three exit unscathed. Dawn and Felix settle down together, and Elmo purchases the Scottish Highland castle of the Chief of Clan McElroy, while explains that he has spent the movie wearing a kilt with "the tartan of my slave master", but that Elmo now claims both the Castle and the Tartan as his own.

Charlie Cartwright, an amorous English tour guide, takes groups of Americans on whirlwind nine-countries-in-18-days sightseeing tours of Europe. Having overslept with his newest conquest, he is late meeting tour #225, finding a resentful group eager to start. Samantha Perkins, one of those tourists, is on vacation to contemplate whether to marry her fiancé, George. In London, Charlie begins a campaign to charm and seduce the gorgeous Samantha, who considers him frivolous and conniving, reluctant to become just another conquest. Despite verbal sparring, they become mutually attracted, and the confirmed bachelor Charlie proposes marriage. Samantha ultimately decides to settle for neither the unexciting George, who turns up unexpectedly, nor the charismatic Charlie, who is unsuitable husband material. Fred and Edna Ferguson take their daughter Shelly on the trip to separate her from an undesirable boyfriend with whom she is getting sexually involved. In Amsterdam, Shelly meets an activist American college student who follows her around different tour locations, where they sneak off on his motorcycle to spend time together sightseeing through counterculture eyes. Also in Amsterdam, Irma Blakely disappears on a Japanese tour bus she mistakenly boards when separated from her group. Multiple attempts must be made before the two tours overlap to restore her to her husband, Harve. Although Harve pines for Irma during the whole trip and must be coaxed into joining the group at a nightclub, when Irma finally reappears in Rome, she finds him onstage dancing with burlesque dancers and mistakenly believes he has been partying in her absence. Irma declares they will go to Japan next year, since she has made many friends on her improvised tour. In Belgium, Jack Harmon revisits the World War II site where he fought in Bastogne. As he tells tall tales to a fellow tourist, Freda Gooding, of a German retreat, he literally crosses path with a German veteran who is acting out a contradictory tale of Allied retreat to his wife. In Rome, eager to see Gina, a woman he met during the war, again, Jack's fantasies are shattered when he finds that, while still attractive, she is now a grandmother with a family. In consolation, he turns to Freda Gooding, a widow, and begins to get to know her. Often getting slapped, Bert Greenfield sneaks pictures of breasts, thighs, and other intimate angles of voluptuous women, pretending that he is "scoring" with them, and sending made-up stories to his buddies. Desperate, he pays a pretty girl to pose with him in an embrace; she returns his money out of pity and kisses his cheek before departing. In Italy, John Marino takes time from the tour to meet his relatives, who receive him warmly but alarm him when they want to fix him up with Francesca, a plump, plain cousin, who he jumps through a bathroom window into a canal to avoid. The next day he is handed a pile of messages from “a cousin” and spends the rest of his time avoiding her. As he is leaving Venice, John finds that he has been dodging a different―beautiful―cousin he laments not getting to know; Bert laments not getting her photo for his collection. Throughout the tour, Fred complains to Edna that the tour is an ordeal and he is eager to get home. His one objective is to have a custom pair of Italian shoes made, for which he goes through an arduous process to make the non-English-speaking shoemaker understand his specifications. After Fred leaves, the shoemaker selects a pair of ready-made shoes from a catalogue, completely mistaking the specifications, that he will mail to the U.S. to fulfill the "special order". Despite having complained throughout the whole tour, Fred declares they will go on a tour of Scandinavia next year. Throughout the tour, kleptomaniac Harry Dix steals "souvenirs" such as towels, ashtrays, Bibles, bells, lifesavers, telephones, and paintings from each location, which he stows into a commodious suitcase. At the airport on departure, his suitcase is so heavy that it collapses, spilling all his pilfered objects, which he leaves behind. Starting tour #226, Charlie gives an introductory speech evoking unexpected adventure, reflecting his new romantic, less cynical, outlook, as the new group of tourists rotate seats and get to know each other.

The Earth is passing through the tail of a comet, an event which has not occurred in 65 million years and coincided with the extinction event that wiped out the dinosaurs. On the night of the comet's passage, eleven days before Christmas, large crowds gather outside to watch and celebrate. Eighteen-year-old Regina "Reggie" Belmont works at a movie theater in southern California. She is annoyed to find someone with the initials DMK has the sixth highest score on the theater's Tempest video game; the other high scores are hers. Staying after the theater closes, she helps her boyfriend, projectionist Larry Dupree, sneak back in so he can loan out a film reel for illegal duplication. Reggie and Larry spend the night in the steel-lined projection booth and have sex. Meanwhile, Reggie's 16-year-old sister Samantha ("Sam") argues with their stepmother Doris, who Sam knows is cheating on her father, who is away on military duty. After a physical altercation, Sam spends the night in a steel backyard shed. The next morning, a reddish haze covers the sky; there are no signs of life but piles of red dust and heaps of clothing everywhere. Unaware that anything has occurred, Larry goes outside and is killed by a zombie. After trying to beat DMK's high score, Reggie looks for Larry, mistaking the red sky as bad smog. She quickly encounters the zombie, but escapes on Larry's motorcycle. At home, she finds her sister. The two surmise that because they both spent the night in steel containers, they were saved from the comet's effects. The sisters race to the local radio station after they hear a disc jockey on air, only to find it was a pre-recorded show. They come across another survivor there, Hector Gomez, who spent the night in the back of his steel truck. When Sam talks into the microphone, she is heard by researchers in an underground installation out in the desert. As they listen to Reggie, Sam and Hector debate what to do, the scientists note that the zombies, though less exposed to the comet, will eventually disintegrate into dust themselves. Hector leaves to check if any of his family survived, but promises to return. Reggie and Sam then go shopping for guns and clothing at a mall. After a firefight with some zombie stock boys and their leader, Willy, the girls are taken prisoner, but are saved by a rescue team sent by the scientists. Reggie is taken back to their base. Audrey White, a disillusioned scientist, offers to dispose of Sam, whom she diagnosed as having been exposed to the comet due to her developing rash, and to wait for Hector. After she fakes euthanizing Sam by injecting her with a sedative, she kills the other remaining scientist. When Hector returns, Audrey briefs him, then gives herself a lethal injection (as she herself has been exposed). Sam and Hector set out to rescue Reggie. Back at the base, it is revealed that the researchers had suspected and prepared for the comet's effects, but inadvertently left the ventilation system open and the fans running. The deadly dust permeated their base. Reggie, who has become suspicious, escapes and discovers that the dying scientists have hunted down and rendered healthy survivors brain-dead. They harvest their untainted blood to keep the disease at bay while they desperately search for a cure. Reggie saves a young boy and a girl before they are processed, then unplugs the other victims from their life support machines. Sam and Hector rescue the trio and blow up the scientists. Eventually, rain washes away the dust. Reggie pairs up with Hector, and they assume parental roles with the kids. Sam feels left out. Frustrated, she ignores Reggie's warning about crossing the street against the signal light, claiming there is nobody else left. Sam is almost run over by a sports car driven by Danny Mason Keener, a survivor about her own age. After apologizing, he invites her to go for a ride. As they drive off, the car is shown sporting the initials "DMK" on the vanity plate.

Donovan Donaly, a TV soap opera producer, walks in on his wife Bonnie being intimate with an ex-boyfriend. He files for divorce, and she hires Miles Massey, a top divorce attorney and the inventor of the "Massey pre-nup", a completely foolproof prenuptial agreement. Miles wins a large property settlement against Donaly, leaving him broke. Meanwhile, private investigator Gus Petch tails the wealthy and married Rex Rexroth on a drunken night out with a blonde. When they stop at a motel, he catches their tryst on video. Gus takes the video to Rex's wife, Marylin Rexroth, a marriage-for-money predator. Marylin files for divorce, demanding a large property settlement. Unable to afford a divorce settlement, Rex hires Miles to represent him. Marylin's friend, serial divorcée Sarah Sorkin, warns her that Miles will be a dangerous opponent. Marylin and her lawyer, Freddy Bender, fail to reach an agreement with Miles and Rex. The bored Miles asks the fascinating Marylin to dinner, where they flirt. While they are out, Gus breaks into her house and copies her address book for Miles, who has his assistant search among the names for Marylin's accomplice in arranging predatory marriages. In court, Marylin feigns an emotional breakdown over Rex's infidelity, professing that she loved Rex unconditionally at first sight. Miles then calls "Puffy" Krauss von Espy, a Swiss hotel concierge. Puffy testifies that Marylin asked him to find her a marriage target who was very rich, foolish, and a philanderer whom she could easily divorce, and that he pointed her to Rex. The divorce is granted, but she gets nothing. Seeking revenge against Miles, Marylin finds the now-penniless Donaly living on the street, still clutching his Emmy statuette, and offers him a chance to reclaim his lost glory. Soon after, she shows up at Miles' office with her new fiancé, oil millionaire Howard D. Doyle. Marylin insists on the Massey prenup—which will make it absolutely impossible for her to claim any of her fiancée's assets in the event of a divorce—over both Howard and Miles's objections. However, Howard destroys it during the wedding, as a demonstration of love. Six months later, Miles goes to Las Vegas, to give the keynote address at a convention for divorce attorneys. He encounters Marylin, who has divorced Howard and presumably collected a sizable share of the Doyle Oil fortune. However, she admits that she is disenchanted with her wealthy but lonely life. Miles marries Marylin on the spur of the moment, and signs the Massey prenup to prove that he has no interest in her fortune, but she tears it up. The next morning, Miles tells the convention that love is the most important thing, and that he is giving up divorce for pro bono work. Shortly afterwards, Miles discovers that "Howard D. Doyle" is just an actor from one of Donaly's soap operas; Marylin tricked him, leaving his considerable wealth at risk. Desperate to save the firm's reputation, Miles' boss, Herb Myerson, suggests hiring hitman "Wheezy Joe" to kill Marylin. Miles then learns that Marylin's ex-husband Rex has died without changing his will, leaving her his entire fortune. Since she is now the wealthier of the two parties, his assets are no longer at risk. Repentant, Miles rushes to save Marylin from Joe, but she has already offered to pay him double to kill him instead. In the confusion of the ensuing struggle, Joe mistakes his gun for his asthma inhaler and accidentally kills himself. Later, Miles, Marylin, and their lawyers meet to negotiate a divorce. Miles pleads for a second chance and retroactively signs a Massey prenup. Realizing her own feelings for him, she tears it up, and they kiss. Marylin reveals that to get Donaly's help for supplying Howard, she gave him an idea for a hit TV show, restoring his fortunes in the process: America's Funniest Divorce Videos, with Gus as the host.

Plunged into despair by the results of the 2016 presidential election, veteran Democratic Party campaign consultant Gary Zimmer is shown a viral video of retired Marine Col. Jack Hastings giving a speech in support of the illegal immigrant population of his hometown, the fictional town of Deerlaken, Wisconsin. Calculating that getting Hastings elected as a Democrat in Deerlaken's upcoming mayoral election will help him convince the American people in the heartland to vote Democrat in the next presidential election, Zimmer travels to Wisconsin to persuade Hastings to run. Arriving in Deerlaken, Gary experiences the vast cultural divide between his home of Washington, D.C., and the townspeople's more rural mannerisms and political beliefs. Gary soon meets Hastings and his daughter Diana and pitches his idea. Hastings initially declines, considering himself more of a conservative and having no real interest in politics, but later relents and agrees to run under the condition that Gary serve as his campaign manager. Hastings recruits his friends and neighbors as volunteers for the campaign. However, setbacks soon arise such as limited Wi-Fi, xenophobia, social conservatism, and the fact that the incumbent mayor, Braun, is being funded by the Republican National Committee. The RNC also sends Faith Brewster, Gary's nemesis, to counter Gary. As the race heats up, Gary takes Jack to NYC so they can recruit funds for the campaign to match Faith's money and resources. Jack gives a powerful speech to the possible donors about how he needs their help for his small town, which inspires Gary. Their donations allow Gary to upgrade their campaigning methods. Soon the election polls show the two candidates neck-and-neck, although the Hastings campaign takes a dive when one of Gary's team members advertises a pro- contraceptive platform to a group of single women who turn out to be nuns. When Gary starts berating his teammates, Diana convinces him to apologize and that if he is going to run her father's campaign, he needs to be nice. When it starts to look like Faith and Braun are going to win, Gary tries to convince Jack and Diana to play dirty and start exploiting Braun's skeletons. Diana is horrified that Gary would play dirty and secretly goes to Braun for advice. The two decide to secretly reveal a bigger scandal about Braun so Gary will not go after Braun's brother, which was his original plan. The scandal, however, proves to be false. On Election Day, almost no one votes (only two votes are cast, with one vote going to each candidate, resulting in a tie), which confuses both Gary and Faith. It quickly becomes clear that the election was actually a setup. Diana reveals she masterminded the entire scheme, filming the video of her father's immigration speech (which was carefully scripted) so that the Democrats and Republicans would pour thousands of dollars into the election; the town has been quietly siphoning the money to get through its financial troubles due to the recent closure of a nearby military base. Gary is shocked that Diana would play him and she then counters by explaining the town had no choice but to set him up because D.C. politicians play small towns like theirs all the time while doing nothing to help when times are tough. When Gary reveals that he has feelings for Diana, she rejects him, pointing to their age difference. Later, Diana becomes the mayor of Deerlaken after a special election. The film ends with three scenes leading into each other, each with its own set of cast credits: Gary and Diana embrace at a construction site for a new public building; until Gary is snapped out of that thought to reveal Gary and Ann, the pastry chef, in bed, discussing plans for a new bakery; until Gary finally snaps out of that to show Gary and Faith kiss and discuss their investment portfolio in their kitchen. A post-credits scene shows a short interview with Trevor Potter, an official of the Federal Election Commission, discussing the shortcomings of oversight over elections fund-raising. The screen shows the title IRRESISTIBLE fading into the word RESIST.

In 1964, eight-year-old Allen Bauer and his family are taking a boat tour at Cape Cod, Massachusetts. Allen is fascinated by something below the surface and jumps overboard, even though he cannot swim. In the ocean, he encounters a young girl, and when they hold hands, he inexplicably finds himself able to breathe underwater. However, Allen is rescued and pulled back to the surface, and the two are separated. Since no one else saw the girl, Allen comes to believe the encounter was a near-death hallucination. After the boat pulls away, the young girl is revealed to be a mermaid. Twenty years later, Allen is now co-owner of a wholesale fruit and vegetable business in New York City with his womanizing older brother, Freddie. Throughout the years, Allen's relationships have failed as he subconsciously seeks the connection he shared with the mermaid. Depressed after his latest breakup, Allen returns to Cape Cod, where he encounters eccentric scientist Walter Kornbluth on a diving expedition. When his motorboat restarts, Allen falls into the sea and is knocked unconscious; his wallet drops onto the coral below. He later wakes up on a beach, with a headache from the accident, in the presence of a beautiful, naked young woman who is unable to talk. After kissing Allen, the woman dives into the sea, where she transforms into a mermaid. While swimming underwater, she is sighted by Kornbluth. The mermaid finds Allen's wallet and uses a sunken ship's charts to locate New York. She comes ashore naked at the Statue of Liberty and is arrested for indecent exposure. Using information from the wallet, the police contact Allen, and she is released into his care. The mermaid learns how to speak English from watching television and is eager to explore the city. Unable to say her real name in human language, she selects "Madison" from a Madison Avenue sign. She tells Allen that she will be in New York for "six fun-filled days, and the moon is full", unable to return home if she stays any longer. Despite Madison's occasionally outlandish behavior, she and Allen fall in love. He proposes to her, but she declines and runs away. After some contemplation, Madison returns to Allen and agrees to marry him, with the added promise of telling him the truth about herself after an upcoming dignitary dinner to welcome the President. Meanwhile, Kornbluth, realizing that Madison is the mermaid he encountered, pursues the couple, trying to expose her by splashing her with water. After his first attempts are unsuccessful, Kornbluth ultimately infiltrates the dignitary dinner, soaking Madison with a hose and unmasking her identity. Madison is seized by government agents and taken to a secret lab, headed by Kornbluth's cold-hearted rival, Dr. Ross, for examination. As she withers away in captivity, Kornbluth learns that the scientists are planning to dissect her, causing him to regret his actions. Allen is shocked by Madison's secret and rejects her, but when he voices his disillusionment to his brother, Freddie berates him, reminding him how happy he was with her. Realizing that he still loves Madison, Allen confronts the guilt-ridden Kornbluth, who, having been rejected by his colleagues despite proving the existence of mermaids, agrees to help rescue her. Kornbluth, accompanied by Allen and Freddie impersonating Swedish scientists, enters the lab and smuggles Madison outside. Freddie stays behind to be arrested in Allen's place, while Kornbluth unsuccessfully tries to stop military troops from catching the couple. As they make it to New York Harbor, Madison tells Allen that he can survive underwater as long as he is with her, prompting Allen to realize that she was the girl he had met underwater as a child. She warns him that if he comes to live in the sea, he will never be able to return to land. Madison dives into the water as the troops close in on them. When they attempt to arrest Allen, he jumps in after her but starts to drown. She kisses him, gifting him the ability to swim and breathe underwater. Frogmen try to recapture them, but the couple fight them off and escape. Allen discards his jacket as the couple happily swims toward what appears to be an underwater kingdom.

A hot shot Washington DC lobbyist and his protégé go down hard as their schemes to peddle influence lead to corruption and murder.

"Disaster '76", the latest disaster film, is playing at The Alamo, a drive-in theater in a small Texas town. The night brings together a young couple, two rival youth gangs, a pair of thieves planning to rob the drive-in, a nervous doctor and a host of other characters.

In the aftermath of nuclear apocalypse, 99% of the survivors are sex Negatives – they become violently ill if they attempt to have sex. The minority sex Positives are forced to engage in carnal theater for the entertainment of the Negatives at Café Flesh. Everyone is excited about the arrival at the club of the famous Positive Johnny Rico, and one Negative woman is beginning to question her negativeness as she and her husband grow more distant from each other.

Doug Kinney works in construction in Los Angeles, and his job constantly gets in the way of his family. Working on a new wing of a scientific facility, Doug meets Dr. Leeds, a scientist who developed a method for cloning humans. He is introduced to Dr. Leeds' clone as proof. Sympathetic to Doug's troubles, Dr. Leeds clones him, so the clone can take over for Doug at work, while the original tries to spend time with his family. "Two", a clone who calls himself "Lance", has all of Doug's memories and knowledge, but is also an exaggeration of Doug's masculine side. Doug tries to keep his clone a secret. While he and his wife Laura are at a restaurant for dinner, he sees Two on his own date. Doug begins to worry about his clone being revealed. Despite the complications of having a clone, Lance is extremely busy at work, so Doug has another made to help out at home. "Three", who calls himself "Rico", is an exaggeration of Doug's feminine side. He is sensitive and thoughtful and loves to cook and take care of the house, much to Lance's chagrin. Lance and Rico attempt to make another clone, "Four", who is later named Lenny. Since he is a clone-of-a-clone (and a copy of a copy may not be as 'sharp' as the original), his intelligence is lower than that of his predecessors, yet Lenny represents an exaggeration of Doug's immature side, and he refers to Doug as "Steve". Annoyed, Doug decrees that no more clones be created. Doug decides to take some time off, going on a sailing trip. He does not want Laura to know, so he has his clones step in for him while he is away. Although he instructs them that Laura is off limits, while he is gone each of the clones run into Laura. Despite their best efforts to follow instructions, she persists and eventually has sex with all three of them, thinking they are Doug. The next day, Lance has a cold and cannot go to work, so he sends Rico. During an inspection on site, Rico's ignorance about the current construction site annoys the inspector, which leads to Doug losing his job. Laura becomes increasingly upset with her husband's erratic behavior and how he has no memories of discussions she unwittingly had with another clone. Thinking Doug is ignoring her, she reveals her feelings to Lenny, mentioning how Doug has never kept his promise to fix up the house. When she asks him what he wants, an inattentive Lenny replies, "I want pizza". Upset, she takes the children and moves back to her parents' home. After finding out everything that has happened while he was away, Doug tries to determine how to get Laura back. Lenny tells him that Laura said he never fixed the house. With the help of the clones, Doug remodels their home and wins back Laura's love. He also tells her he is planning to start his own contracting business. Realizing Doug can take care of himself now, the clones move away. As they are driving away, Laura sees them in the car next to her. Believing that she is hallucinating, Laura tells her children that you can tell you really love someone when everyone you see reminds you of them. The clones write to Doug that they have set up a successful pizzeria called "Three Guys from Nowhere" in Miami, Florida, and masquerade as triplets. Lance becomes the businessman of the shop and serves customers, enjoying this opportunity to meet women. Rico is the head chef and is "cooking up a storm and having a ball", and Lenny is both the delivery boy and a paperboy. But because of his limited intellect, he confuses the two jobs, and the movie ends with him delivering a pizza by throwing it, newspaper-style.