Tripper Harrison leads a group of new counsellors-in-training (CITs) at Camp North Star, a cut-rate summer camp located in Ontario, and leads practical jokes on camp director Morty Melnick, mainly by taking Melnick from his cabin late at night so that he awakens in unusual places. Rudy Gerner, a lonely boy whose mother died about a year earlier, is sent to summer camp by his workaholic father, but decides to run away. Noticing Rudy is lacking self-confidence, Tripper tracks him to a nearby bus station and takes him under his wing. They rapidly bond as friends after many morning jogs. While helping Rudy to gain self-confidence, Tripper attempts to woo Roxanne, the girls' head counsellor. Many of the CITs also find romance: Candace "kidnaps" Crockett in a speedboat and confesses her feelings for him, while Wheels, who had broken up with A.L. the year before, successfully rekindles their relationship during a dance, and the nerdy Spaz falls for the tomboy Jackie. A subplot deals with North Star's rivalry with Camp Mohawk, a wealthy summer camp located across the lake. During a basketball game, North Star is being beaten by Mohawk when they attempt their own perverse form of victory. This sets the stage for the yearly Olympiad between the camps, which Mohawk has won 12 consecutive times. During the first day of competition, Mohawk dominates North Star, often winning by cheating. Crockett fails to clear the high jump bar, Hardware gets pummelled in boxing, and Jackie suffers a broken ankle in field hockey, thanks to the dirty work of two Mohawk girls. The score at the end of Day One is: Mohawk 170, North Star 63. That evening at the North Star Lodge, Tripper rouses the demoralized campers by explaining that victory or defeat is unimportant. In unison, Camp North Star begins to chant, "It just doesn't matter!" Day Two of the Olympiad belongs to newly inspired North Star as they win every event. Wheels outwrestles his opponent, Spaz defeats Rhino in a stacking contest with inspiration from Jackie and a thwarted Mohawk cheating attempt, and, after 12 years of North Star defeats, Fink finally beats "The Stomach" in the Hot Dog-eating contest. North Star now trails by only 10 points with one event left, a four-mile cross country run for 20 points. Tripper offers to select a surprised Rudy to compete against Horse, Mohawk's star runner. Rudy's many mornings spent jogging and training with Tripper pay off as he wins the race, giving North Star its first Olympiad victory by a score of 230–220. Later that evening, Morty, Tripper, Roxanne and the CITs sing around a campfire and say their final goodbyes as the camp prepares to close at the end of summer. Rudy has already decided to return to camp next year and Roxanne agrees to live with Tripper. The two ride off on Tripper's motorcycle, leading the buses out of camp and leaving Morty behind, in bed, on a raft in the middle of the lake.

Wang Duoyu is an unsuccessful goalie for Daxiang, a third-level soccer team. After he was discovered to have engaged in match-fixing in a soccer match, losing 0–5 to the opponents, he was nearly dismissed by the team's coach. Later, he discovered that he is the heir of a billionaire, and could inherit as much as CN¥ 30 billion. But to receive his bequest, he must manage to spend ¥1 billion in thirty days. If he succeeds, he will inherit ¥30 billion, but there are a few rules he must follow: he must not tell anyone about his mission, must spend all the money on himself, must not spend money on charity or illegal activities like gambling, and must not own any assets at the end. It was also announced that he would have a personal financial assistant keeping track of his spendings, who turns out to be Xia Zhu. Wang Duoyu soon began spending his money. He rented an entire hotel for a month at a price of ¥20 million, invested in sunset industries and unfulfilled dreams, and funded the production of a land-swimming machine, hoping that this would help him lose money. However, in the end, his investments surprisingly brought in another billion, doubling his original 1 billion yuan. He also spent ¥10 million to invite Changzhou Hengtai, the top soccer team in the country, for a friendly match against Daxiang. At the same time, Wang Duoyu started to have a crush on Xia Zhu. One day, he decided to show fireworks to her. Coincidentally, this day was also Xia Zhu's birthday. The next day, Wang Duoyu purchased all billboards in the city to tell people that he loves Xia Zhu, much to her annoyance. Shortly after that, Wang Duoyu introduced in front of a large crowd his newest insurance product, the "fat insurance", as a way to quickly get rid of his 2 billion yuan. This worked out well, and everyone in the city began to lose weight by exercising. The day of the friendly match arrived, and Hengtai's captain demanded that his team must score double-digit goals. By the 50th minute, Hengtai had already scored 9 against Daxiang, but Daxiang defended well for the rest of the match, keeping the score at 9–0. After the match, Wang Duoyu found that Xia Zhu had been abducted, and would die if he did not arrive and pay ¥10 million before 6 PM that day. Since this would violate the rules, Wang Duoyu hesitated for a while, but he ultimately decided to go and pay the money to rescue Xia Zhu. Finally, this was revealed to be the ultimate requirement for inheriting the 30 billion yuan. At the end of the film, Wang Duoyu and Xia Zhu got married and wanted to donate their 30 billion yuan to charity, but asked to keep all the money needed to raise a child, which turned out to be a massive amount that they couldn't work out well into the night.

At 1950s Princeton University, mathematics doctoral candidate Catherine Boyd is engaged to hyper-critical James Moreland, a professor of experimental psychology. They stop at a nearby garage when their car breaks down, where mechanic Ed Walters, a science-fiction hobbyist, falls in love with Catherine at first sight. Ed visits Catherine's address to return her forgotten watch, coming face to face with Albert Einstein, Catherine's uncle. Befriending Albert and his mischievous fellow scientists Nathan Liebknecht, Kurt Gödel, and Boris Podolsky, Ed confides in them about his feelings for Catherine. At a Princeton faculty dinner, Catherine embarrasses James by suggesting a sensual Hawaiian honeymoon, and he reveals that he has accepted a position at Stanford University, where she likely will be resigned to life as a housewife. The four scientists bring Albert's car to Ed's garage to transform into a convertible and, believing Ed is far better suited for Catherine than James, brainstorm how he can pique her interest. Ed jokingly asks to "borrow their brains", inspiring them to help him pose as a hidden genius. They convince Catherine that Ed has developed a brilliant concept for a cold fusion -powered spacecraft, secretly based on one of Albert's unpublished papers. Catherine arranges for a nervous Ed to present his supposed findings at an Institute for Advanced Study symposium, where he makes it through by speaking directly to her. At the reception afterward, the scientists distract James and Albert feigns a heart attack to leave with Catherine and Ed, bringing them to a café. She senses Ed's feelings for her, but Albert arranges for them to share a dance to a jukebox waltz, until Catherine remembers James is expecting her. Bob and Frank, Ed's fellow mechanics, worry he is in too deep, and James challenges him in front of the press to a public intelligence test. With Catherine in the audience, an inspired Ed quickly solves the manual puzzles, but is subjected to fifty multiple-choice questions on advanced physics. The four scientists slyly prompt him with the answers, leading him to score an I.Q. of 186. The "proof" of Ed's genius is publicized in newspapers and cinema newsreels, much to Catherine's delight, but she notices an error in his supposed calculations in the cold-fusion paper, forcing Albert to cause her to doubt her own work to protect the ruse. The scientists free James' lab animals to keep him from Albert's sailing excursion, where Catherine realizes her own feelings for Ed, and they kiss. Ed prepares to tell Catherine the truth, but is surprised by the arrival of President Eisenhower, who expects to see the supposed nuclear fusion engine that will overtake a rumored Russian project. Realizing the truth about Ed, Catherine is picked up by the presidential motorcade. Ed catches up on his motorcycle and Catherine confronts him in a field, leading the president to believe Ed is proposing to her. Catherine slaps Ed after he admits to lying to her, and Albert confirms that she has mathematically disproven his own theory. Having unearthed Albert's original paper, James accuses both Ed and Albert of fraud, but Albert claims that everything was part of "Operation Red Cabbage", a top-secret scheme to prove the Russians were lying about their own nuclear advances. Rushed to the hospital for a real emergency, Albert urges Catherine not to let her brain overrule her heart. Ed apologizes to Catherine and departs, hoping she will someday realize she is extraordinary. A comet is due that night, and the scientists arrange for Catherine to find Ed at Stargazers' Field, where they reunite to watch the stars from Albert's convertible.

The film opens to Adam Beckett, a pianist reluctantly performing Chopin to an audience in Carnegie Hall. When Beckett is asked to play an encore, he gives away that he is not actually playing, but using a player piano. The outraged crowd storms the stage and wraps Beckett with the piano rolls. Adam awakens on a train in Europe and realizes it was a nightmare. He is accosted by a Swedish architect, to whom he explains his stymied dreams of becoming an artist. After encouragement from him, Adam resolves to return to America to follow his dream. Upon returning, he discovers that the Port Authority has taken control of New York and is restricting entry into the city. Upon failing a drawing test at the Port Authority, Adam is forced to work in a menial job under a trigger-happy boss. He has to watch traffic before it enters the Holland tunnel and prevent vehicles from entering with faulty parts, such as a headlight out. Feeling he won't be creative living under his aunt and uncle's roof, Adam moves to a hotel. He is given a room whose last occupant disappeared mysteriously, leaving all of his belongings behind, including several paintings. At work Adam meets Mara, a fellow aspiring artist. He tags along with her to SoHo and she takes it upon herself to expose them to lots of different art forms to determine which most appeals to each of them. His kindness to a tramp leads him to be taken into an underground network where he is first cleansed by fire, then discovers that the city's tramps are controlling the destiny of all the cities in the world. They instruct him to travel to the Moon on a mission. When Adam returns above ground he goes immediately to Mara's, but she is indifferent to him. Upset, he hurries to the city bus bound for the Moon. In transit, the bus has different levels, one for dancing, one for dinner. Adam is the youngest by far, and one of the older ladies tells him they all have chips implanted in the back of their necks. It causes them to say Miami rather than Moon when they speak of the trip. Upon arrival the bus is greeted by the Moon Maidens and Eloy, meant to be Adam's true love, who tells him it's too dangerous to talk. Adam jumps off the shuttle heading to the shopping at Moon-o-Rama and Eloy picks him up with a buggy to take him out of Consumerzone. Adam awakens in an alley. He's told he must hurry to his concert in Carnegie Hall. After playing Chopin's polonaise no. 53 he receives a standing ovation. He looks up and sees Eloy waving to him from a box.

Lucy Kelson is an intelligent, highly competent liberal lawyer who specializes in historic preservation, environmental law, and pro bono cases in New York City. George Wade is an arrogant, rich real estate developer and stylish playboy who has grown up in a life of luxury and is also quite naïve. Lucy's hard work and devotion to others contrasts sharply with George's childish recklessness and greed. George is the face of his company and works alongside his brother Howard, who is more responsible and mature. Lucy meets George in an attempt to stop the destruction of the Coney Island community center she grew up with. Learning that she graduated from the prestigious Harvard Law School, he asks to hire her to replace his old Chief Counsel, overlooking their opposing views of real estate development. She decides the benefits he offers in discretionary funding for causes she supports outweigh the negatives, especially as he promises to protect the community center. Lucy finds what George really requires is advice in all aspects of his life. She regretfully becomes his indispensable assistant he calls at all times for the next few years. After Lucy is disrupted at a friend's wedding by George's latest "emergency" (what to wear to an event he is attending), she gives him two weeks' notice of resignation. Lucy looks for work at other firms, but George has called in advance asking them not to hire her, so he can keep her on. Eventually, he admits defeat and she offers to help him find a replacement, unaware of how close and interdependent they have become. Lucy's boyfriend Ansel, who is always away with Greenpeace, breaks up with her over the phone and she is consoled by George on his private yacht. She gets drunk, brags about how good she is at sex, and kisses George before passing out. When she wakes up the next morning, she has forgotten about what happened the night before. New Harvard graduate June Carver is finally hired as Lucy's replacement, and she becomes increasingly close with George, making Lucy jealous. At a business event, June kisses George and they go to his room. Lucy learns that despite George's promise, the community center is going to be demolished in favour of a new real estate project, so goes to confront him on his apparent betrayal. Arriving at his hotel, she finds George and June in his suite in their underclothes during a game of "strip chess". George confronts Lucy the next day, her last day at work, where she reminds him he promised her to spare the community center and storms out. After Lucy is gone, George realizes his time with her has demonstrated that he needs to change. Meanwhile, in her new job, Lucy realizes she misses him. George goes in search of Lucy and reveals he decided to keep his promise to her and chose not to demolish the center. She initially rebuffs him, but overcome with tears over the revelation, runs after him. The pair declare their feelings, and George reveals he has resigned. They kiss in the middle of the sidewalk and go to the small apartment Lucy shares with her parents. The DVD version of the film includes an unreleased scene of George and Lucy's wedding at the community center attended by family and friends.

In 1954, each boy in a group of Florida Angel Beach High School students plans to lose his virginity. They go to Porky's, a strip club in the Everglades, believing that they can hire a prostitute to satisfy their sexual desires. The club's proprietor, Porky Wallace, takes their money but humiliates the boys by dumping them into the swamp. When the group demands their money back, Sheriff Wallace, Porky's brother, drives them away but not before he extorts them for the rest of their money, further embarrassing them. After Mickey Jarvis, who returned to Porky's for revenge, is beaten so badly he has to be hospitalized, the gang becomes hellbent on exacting revenge on Porky and Sheriff Wallace, eventually sinking Porky's establishment into the swamp. Porky and his men, joined by Sheriff Wallace, chase the group, but the boys make it across the county line, out of Sheriff Wallace's jurisdiction, where local police officers and the high school band meet them. One of the officers, Mickey's older brother, Ted, repeatedly damages Porky's Hudson Hornet, promising to drop all charges against Porky for driving an unsafe vehicle if the night's events are forgiven. Because the boys are too young to have been allowed into Porky's legally, Porky and Sheriff Wallace agree. In a subplot, the boys peep on female students in the girl's locker room shower, and Tommy Turner, Billy McCarty, and Pee Wee Morris see several girls showering. Pee Wee gives them away when he shouts at an obese girl, who has been blocking his view, to move so that he can see. While a few girls run out, most stay, finding the situation funny. To test their attitude, Tommy sticks his tongue out through his peephole but gets it smeared with soap. Infuriated, he drops his pants and sticks his penis through the opening just before female coach Beulah Balbricker, who has a running feud with Tommy, walks into the shower area. Spotting the protruding member, she sneaks up on Tommy, grabs his penis, and pulls with all her might. Tommy pulls free and escapes, but Beulah is determined to prove that the offending member, which has a mole on it, belongs to Tommy, going so far as to request that Principal Carter hold a police-type line-up of the boys in the nude so she can identify it. However, Carter balks at her request. As the other basketball coaches laugh, Coach Roy Brackett suggests asking the police to send a sketch artist and hang wanted posters around the school. When that suggestion gets even Carter laughing, Balbricker leaves in a huff. At the end of the film, she sneaks out of the bushes to ambush Tommy and actually drags his pants down, but she is pulled off him by police and dragged away screaming that she saw "it" and that she can identify its owner. Tommy breaks the fourth wall, saying, "Jeez!" to the camera. Another subplot involves Coach Brackett taking an interest in the attractive coach, Lynn Honeywell. Coach Fred Warren repeatedly refers to Honeywell as "Lassie" while pointing to the equipment room, much to Coach Brackett's confusion. He quickly finds out why when he and Honeywell hide out in the equipment room after an argument with Balbricker, and Honeywell becomes turned on by the scent of the room. This leads to the pair having quickie sex in the room, as Honeywell begins loudly howling like a dog, thus revealing why she is called Lassie. Her orgasmic howls are heard throughout the entire school, much to the students' and Coach Warren's amusement, but not to Balbricker and head coach Goodenough. Brackett and Honeywell are eventually fired as a result.

There are three seasoned birders who each set out to achieve a Big Year: Brad Harris, a 36-year-old computer programmer based in Baltimore; Stu Preissler, founder and CEO of a New York company bearing his name; and roofing contractor Kenny Bostick, who holds the current Big Year record of 732 birds. Bostick is obsessively possessive of his record, but his third wife Jessica is concerned; this was supposed to be the year they focused on conceiving a child. She also believes that Bostick's birding obsession is what destroyed his two previous marriages. He is so competitive that the others use his name as a kind of expletive: "Bostick!" Brad is a skilled birder who can identify nearly any species solely by sound, and hates his job maintaining the operational software of a nuclear power plant in Lansdowne, Pennsylvania. Living with his parents after a failed marriage, an aborted career at Dell, and dropping out of grad school, he hopes that doing a Big Year will give him a sense of purpose and possibly even make his father proud of him. Stu is the founder and CEO of an enormous Manhattan-based chemical conglomerate which he built from the ground up, starting in his garage. After decades of corporate success, he is ready to retire to Colorado with his architect wife. Fear of an empty schedule led him to come back from a previous retirement, but now he wants to leave his company in the hands of his two lieutenants. The company is in the middle of complicated negotiations to merge with a competitor, so his two anointed successors keep calling him back to New York for important meetings. To some extent, he is a prisoner of his own success. A Big Year has been his lifelong dream and he's pursuing it with the full support of his wife. The movie portrays various incidents that take place during the Big Year event, while the trio compete with each other and many other birders to achieve the world record of sighting the highest number of birds. Brad and Stu become friends and help each other in the competition, and Brad is attracted to a fellow birder, Ellie. Meanwhile, the highly competitive Bostick resorts to dirty tricks to boost his own count while undermining the others. As the year draws to a close, Stu is happily retired and enjoying his newborn grandson; Brad develops a relationship with Ellie; and Bostick is alone, as his wife has left him. Stu and Brad, now close friends, congratulate each other on "a very big year", after each sighting 700+ bird species that year. When the Big Year results are published, Bostick won the competition with 755, a new record; Brad came in second; Stu was fourth. Brad opines that "he (Bostick) got more birds, but we got more everything," as he looks at Ellie, who has come for a weekend visit. Stu smiles, looking at his wife. The film ends with Brad and Ellie birding together on a rocky coastline, while Brad confesses that birding is no longer the biggest part of his life. Stu is hiking with his toddler grandson (already enamored by birds) in the Rockies. Bostick is on a birding adventure in China, alone and gazing wistfully at a happy couple walking with their newborn child.

The Ark spacecraft escapes from the planet Cybertron carrying an invention capable of ending the war between Autobots and Decepticons, and crash-lands on the dark side of Earth's Moon in 1962. NASA detects the crash, and President John F. Kennedy authorizes a mission to put a man on the Moon as a cover for investigating the spacecraft. In 1969, the crew of Apollo 11 lands on the Moon and secretly inspects the Ark before returning to Earth. In the present day, three years after the battle of Egypt, the Autobots assist humanity in preventing major conflicts. During a mission to the site of the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster to investigate suspected alien technology, the Autobots are attacked by Decepticon scientist Shockwave and his giant worm Driller. After the two escape, Optimus Prime discovers that the technology is a fuel cell from the Ark. The Autobots travel to the Moon and discover Sentinel Prime, the Autobots' leader before Optimus, in a comatose state along with five Pillars he created as a means of establishing a "Space Bridge", a wormhole able to teleport matter between two points. On Earth, Optimus uses the energy of the Matrix of Leadership to revive Sentinel. Meanwhile, Sam Witwicky lives with his new girlfriend, Carly Spencer, but is unable to work with the Autobots. At his new job, co-worker Jerry Wang gives him information about the Ark, before being assassinated by the Decepticon Laserbeak. Sam contacts Seymour Simmons to investigate the Decepticons' murders of people connected to the American and Soviet lunar space missions. They locate two surviving cosmonauts, who show photos of hundreds of Pillars on the Moon, and realize that the Decepticons raided the Ark long before the Apollo 11 mission and left Sentinel and the five Pillars for the Autobots to find, knowing that Sentinel was the key to activating the Pillars. Meanwhile, Sam and the Autobots fight off three pursuing Decepticons — Hatchet, Crankcase, and Crowbar — and return Sentinel to their base. Revealing that he made a deal with Megatron to ensure Cybertron's survival, Sentinel betrays the Autobots and kills Ironhide. Sentinel uses the Pillars to transport hundreds of concealed Decepticons from the Moon to Earth. Dylan Gould, Carly's boss, is revealed to be working with the Decepticons, and captures Carly with the help of Soundwave, who was disguised as Carly's car. At the demand of the Decepticons, the Autobots are exiled from Earth, but Starscream destroys their ship as it takes off. The Decepticons invade Chicago while placing Pillars around the world to begin transporting Cybertron to the Solar System, planning to enslave humanity and use Earth's resources to rebuild their homeworld. Sam teams up with former NEST soldier Robert Epps to go into Chicago to save Carly and arrest Dylan. They are nearly killed by the Decepticons before the Autobots, who survived their ship's destruction, intervene. Sam, along with NEST teams led by Lennox and Navy SEALs, rescue Carly and begin fighting the Decepticons. During the battle, the Autobot Que is executed, and Bumblebee kills Soundwave, while Optimus fights Sentinel. Laserbeak, Starscream, Shockwave, and the Driller are also killed in the ensuing battle. Meanwhile, Wheelie and Brains sneak onboard and sabotage the Decepticon mothership. Carly convinces Megatron that he will be replaced by Sentinel as leader of the Decepticons. Sam fights Dylan and knocks him into the Pillar, which electrocutes and kills him. Bumblebee destroys the Control Pillar, closing the Bridge and causing the partially transported Cybertron to implode. Sentinel overpowers Optimus, but is incapacitated by Megatron, who is determined to regain his leadership. Megatron offers a truce, but Optimus refuses and kills Megatron by tearing off his head, before executing Sentinel for his betrayal. Sam and Carly are reunited, and the Autobots remain on Earth as their hopeful home.

Betsy Jobs and Arlene Lorenzo are two sweet-natured, ditzy teenagers living in Washington, D.C., in 1972. Betsy comes from a wealthy Georgetown family, while Arlene lives with her widowed mother in an apartment in the Watergate building. On the night of the Watergate break-in, the girls sneak out of Arlene's home to mail a letter to enter a contest to win a date with teen idol singer Bobby Sherman. They sneak through the parking garage by taping the latch of a door, accidentally causing the break-in to be discovered. Seen by G. Gordon Liddy, they panic and run. The security guard is startled by the taped door and calls the police, who immediately arrest the burglars. The next day, at the White House on a school tour, they happen across Liddy again. They do not recognize him, but he recognizes them and becomes suspicious. He points them out to H. R. Haldeman, who interrogates them. Their conversation (revealing the girls do not think about the president much) is interrupted by a phone call from his wife, and then by President Nixon himself, who takes Haldeman aside to complain about the bugging operation being fouled up. The girls are awestruck at being in the same room as Nixon – but more so at being able to play with his dog, which gives him an idea. To keep their silence, he appoints them his official dogwalkers – which means they must be admitted repeatedly to the White House. On these visits they accidentally influence major events such as the Vietnam peace process and the Nixon – Brezhnev accord, by bringing along cookies that they have inadvertently baked marijuana into. Later, when Betsy's brother, Larry, reveals the cookies' "secret ingredient" and hears the President ate them, he concludes that this explains Nixon's paranoia. The girls become familiar with the Nixon administration's key players, including Henry Kissinger, and accidentally learn the major secrets of the Watergate scandal. Arlene, previously infatuated with Bobby Sherman, now falls equally hard for the president. Just after reading an 18½-minute message of love into his tape recorder, she plays back another part of the tape, hears his coarse, brutal rantings, and realizes his true nature. When they confront Nixon, he fires and threatens them. They now reevaluate what they have learned and decide to reveal everything to the "radical muckraking bastards" (Nixon's words) at The Washington Post, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein. So they become informants: two 15-year-old girls are the true identity of the famous Deep Throat (Betsy's brother had just been caught watching the film of the same name). Woodward and Bernstein – portrayed as petty, childish, and incompetent – are naturally skeptical of the two girls. To make matters worse, their only piece of physical evidence, a list of names of those involved from the Committee to Re-Elect the President, is eaten by Betsy's dog. Nixon's men realize the girls are a real threat and attempt tactics such as bugging and undercover agents to discover what they know, going so far as to break into Betsy's house and plant an agent as Arlene's mother's boyfriend. Eventually pushed to the limit after being chased by the Watergate "plumbers", they decide to take action. Sneaking into Haldeman's house, the girls find and take a crucial tape recording. They give a transcription of it to Woodward and Bernstein (keeping the tape as a "souvenir"), thus ending Nixon's political career. Nixon finds Arlene's message on his tape and erases it, reasoning that he would be "crucified" if it was perceived that he had an affair with a 15-year-old girl. Following his resignation, as his helicopter flies over Betsy's house, the girls hold up a sign with the phrase "You suck, Dick", further angering the now ex-president.

After the "World Crash of '79", massive civil unrest and economic ruin occurred. The United States government is restructured into a totalitarian regime under martial law. To pacify the population, the government has created the Transcontinental Road Race, where a group of drivers race across the country in their high-powered cars, and which is infamous for violence, gore, and innocent pedestrians being struck and killed for bonus points. In 2000, the five drivers in the 20th annual race, who all adhere to professional wrestling -style personas and drive appropriately themed cars, include Frankenstein, the mysterious black-garbed champion and national hero; Machine Gun Joe Viterbo, a Chicago gangster; Calamity Jane, a cowgirl; Matilda the Hun, a Neo-Nazi; and Nero the Hero, a Roman gladiator. Joe, the second-place champion, is the most determined to defeat Frankenstein and win the race. A resistance group led by Thomasina Paine plans to rebel against the regime, currently led by a man known only as Mr. President, by sabotaging the race, killing most of the drivers, and taking Frankenstein hostage as leverage against Mr. President. The group is assisted by Paine's granddaughter Annie Smith, Frankenstein's navigator. She plans to lure him into an ambush to replace him with a double. Despite a pirated national broadcast made by Ms. Paine herself, the Resistance's disruption of the race is covered up by the government and instead blamed on the French, who are also blamed for ruining the country's economy and telephone system. At first, the Resistance's plan seems to bear fruit: Nero the Hero is killed when a "baby" he runs over for points turns out to be a bomb, Matilda the Hun drives off a cliff while following a fake detour route set up by the Resistance, and Calamity Jane, who witnessed Matilda the Hun's death, inadvertently drives over a landmine. This leaves only Frankenstein and Machine Gun Joe in the race. As Frankenstein nonchalantly survives every attempt made on his life during the race, Annie comes to discover that Frankenstein's mask and disfigured face are merely a disguise; he is, in fact, one of many random wards of the state who are trained exclusively to race under that identity, and each time they die or are brutally mutilated, they are secretly replaced so that Frankenstein appears to be indestructible. The current Frankenstein reveals to Annie his plan to kill Mr. President: when he wins the race and shakes hands with Mr. President, he will detonate a grenade which has been implanted in his prosthetic right hand. However, the plan goes awry when Machine Gun Joe attacks Frankenstein, and Annie is forced to kill him using Frankenstein's "hand grenade". Frankenstein is declared the winner after successfully outmaneuvering the rival drivers and the Resistance. However, he is wounded and unable to carry out his original "hand grenade" attack plan. Annie instead dons Frankenstein's costume and plans to stab Mr. President while standing in for him on the podium. Before she can do so, Thomasina shoots "Frankenstein", convinced that he killed Annie. The real Frankenstein takes advantage of the confusion and rams Mr. President's stage with his car, finally fulfilling his lifelong desire to kill him. Frankenstein becomes the new president, marries Annie, and appoints Thomasina the Minister of Domestic Security to rebuild the state and dissolve the dictatorship. Junior Bruce, the announcer of the Transcontinental Road Race, opposes the race's abolition and impertinently claims that the public needs performances of violence. Annoyed by his complaints, Frankenstein hits Bruce with his car and drives off with Annie to the cheers and applause of the crowd.

In 1918, a man named Burt Berendsen is sent by his estranged wife's parents to fight in World War I. While stationed in France, Burt befriends African-American soldier Harold Woodman. After sustaining injuries in battle, Burt and Harold are nursed back to health by nurse Valerie Bandenberg. After the end of the war, the three live together in Amsterdam. Burt returns to New York City to be with his wife. Harold begins a romantic relationship with Valerie. Valerie, however, eventually abandons Harold, who also returns to New York. Fifteen years later, Burt has opened his medical practice treating veterans of the war. Harold is now a lawyer, and they have not heard from Valerie since they left Amsterdam. Harold asks Burt to perform an autopsy on Bill Meekins (a senator who served as the commander of their regiment during the war) at the behest of Meekins's daughter Elizabeth, who believes that he was murdered during his recent trip to Europe. Aided by medical examiner Irma St. Clair, Burt performs the autopsy, which reveals poison in Meekins's stomach. Burt and Harold meet with Elizabeth to talk about the autopsy results, but she is soon killed when a hitman pushes her into traffic. The hitman frames Burt and Harold for her death, and they flee as the police arrive. Burt and Harold try to find out who told Elizabeth to hire them. This leads them to wealthy textile heir Tom Voze, his patronizing wife Libby, and Tom's sister Valerie (whose real surname is Voze). Valerie had persuaded Elizabeth to hire them, knowing that they were trustworthy. Valerie is under constant supervision by Tom and Libby, who claim that she suffers from a nerve disease and epilepsy. They were actually poisoning Valerie to keep her compliant. Burt and Harold talk with Tom, who suggests that they talk to General Gil Dillenbeck, a notable veteran who is friends with Meekins, to learn who accompanied Meekins on the trip (and might have poisoned him or be able to lead them to the person who did). While Burt attempts to contact the general, Irma visits him at his medical practice. She says that she was attacked and her wrist broken while trying to bring him the autopsy report, and the attacker took the paper from her. After resetting her wrist, Burt kisses Irma. Meanwhile, Harold and Valerie notice that the hitman, Tarim Milfax, has been watching the house. They follow him to a forced sterilization clinic owned by an organization known as the "Committee of the Five". After a fight with Milfax, Harold and Valerie reunite with Burt. Valerie takes them to the Waldorf Astoria New York. There, they meet Paul Canterbury and Henry Norcross, Valerie's benefactors from Amsterdam. They are secretly spies in the intelligence community. The Committee of the Five is a cabal in the US with ties to Germany and plans to overthrow the American government. Dillenbeck can help foil their plot. The trio meets with Dillenbeck, who is offered a large sum of money from a man on behalf of an unnamed benefactor to deliver a speech advocating for veterans to forcibly remove U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt and install Dillenbeck as a puppet dictator instead. Dillenbeck agrees to help the trio foil the plot and to speak at a veterans reunion gala that Burt and Harold are hosting to draw out whoever is behind the plot. At the gala, Tom introduces Dillenbeck to the industrial leaders Nevins, Belport and Jeffers. Burt realises that they actually want Dillenbeck to become the fifth member of their cabal. Dillenbeck reads his speech instead of the one he was paid to read. Milfax tries to shoot him, but Harold, Valerie, and Burt stop him in time. Milfax is arrested and the Committee of the Five is revealed to be four industry leaders, including Tom. They intended to turn the United States into a fascist country. Tom and the other leaders are arrested by the police, but do not stay in jail long, and expose Dillenbeck in the press following their release. Dillenbeck testifies about the incident to Congress. Harold and Valerie leave the country since they cannot be together in the United States. Burt wishes them farewell, planning to reopen his medical practice and pursue a relationship with Irma.

In a short prelude, U.S. Army General Dean Hopgood is painfully thwarted in an attempt to pass paranormally through a solid wall by simply running into it. Ann Arbor Daily Telegram reporter Bob Wilton's wife leaves him for his editor. To prove himself, Bob flies to Kuwait to report on the Iraq War. He stumbles onto the story of a lifetime when he meets retired U.S. Army Special Forces operator Lyn Cassady, who claims he was part of a unit called the "New Earth Army" training "psychic" spies in parapsychological skills including invisibility, remote viewing, and phasing. Lyn explains the origins of his unit: in 1972, Army officer Bill Django, after falling out of a helicopter in Vietnam, found his newly recruited men unable or unwilling to fire on a Viet Cong soldier before being shot in the chest himself. He experienced a vision of a female Viet Cong soldier who said "their gentleness is their strength," prompting him to go to Northern California to explore how gentleness could make better soldiers. He participated in various activities across California including "naked hot tub encounter sessions" in Santa Rosa, "primal arm wrestling" in Sacramento, and the "beyond jogging movement" in Stockton. Django returned to Fort Bragg in 1980 immersed in the New Age movement, with long braided hair and a tattoo of an All-seeing Eye surmounting a pyramid on his chest. Facilitated by the credulous General Hopgood, Django led the training of a New Earth Army, with Lyn Cassady and Larry Hooper as his top students. The two developed a rivalry over their opposing views on implementing the New Earth Army's philosophy. Lyn wanted to emphasize the teachings' positive side, such as resolving conflict peacefully, whereas Larry was interested in the "dark side" of its military application. Lyn takes Bob into Iraq. Kidnapped by armed locals, who want to sell them to insurgents, they escape with fellow hostage Mahmud Daash and are rescued by a private security detail led by Todd Nixon. Fleeing when the detail is caught in a friendly fire engagement with another American security detail, Bob and Lyn continue their mission prompted by Lyn's vision of Bill Django. After their car is disabled by an IED, Bob and Lyn wander in the desert. Lyn reveals he had stopped a goat's heart to test the limit of his mental abilities, and believes this evil deed has cursed him and the New Earth Army. It is also revealed that Hooper conducted an unauthorized LSD experiment in which a soldier killed himself, forcing Django out of the Army. Bob and Lyn are rescued and taken to a camp run by PSIC, a private research firm engaged in cruel "psychic" and psychological experiments on captured locals and a herd of goats. To Lyn's dismay, Larry runs the firm and employs Django, now a depressed alcoholic. Bob learns the ways of the New Earth Army, and they spike the base's food and water with LSD. Attempting to free themselves of the curse, they free the goats and captured locals. Lyn and Django fly off in a helicopter, disappearing into the sky "like all shamans ". Returning to work as a reporter, Bob writes an article about his experience with Lyn but is frustrated that the only portion to be aired is a segment about the captives being forced to listen to the Barney & Friends theme song for 24 hours, diluting his story to a mere joke. Bob vows to continue trying to get the bigger story out and, following intense concentration, seemingly runs through a solid wall in his office.