When a precious jade stone is discovered in an old outhouse, the owner of said outhouse and the surrounding buildings suddenly finds himself with the financial clout to withstand the buy-out pressure of an unethical developer who wishes to build a large building on his plot. The owner, intending to display the stone to the public, puts his dedicated chief of security in charge of keeping it safe. But with the stakes running high, this is easier said than done. The developer hires a high-tech cat burglar from Hong Kong to steal the stone, the owner's wayward son sees the jewel as the perfect symbol of wealth and hatches a plan to use it to increase his chances at getting laid, and a gang of three con-men who hear about the jewel see it as their ticket to the big time. These three groups find themselves in direct competition and, finding their attempts foiled as often by the security guard as by each other, become more and more desperate as the film progresses.

Finbar McBride, a quiet, unmarried man with dwarfism, deeply loves railroads and leads a solitary existence. He works in a Hoboken, New Jersey model train hobby shop owned by his elderly and similarly taciturn friend, Henry. He keeps to himself and is uncomfortable when people react to his size. When Henry dies, Fin learns that the hobby shop is to be closed and that Henry has bequeathed him a rural property with an abandoned train depot on it. He moves into the old building hoping for a life of solitude but becomes reluctantly enmeshed in the lives of his neighbors. Cuban American Joe Oramas operates his father's roadside snack truck while the elder man recovers from an illness, and artist Olivia Harris is trying to cope with the sudden death of her young son two years earlier and its ramifications on her marriage to David, from whom she is separated. Olivia's initial and second meetings with Fin involve her dangerously distracted driving. Cleo is a young girl who shares Fin's interest in trains and wants him to talk to her class about them. Emily, the local librarian, is a young woman dismayed to discover she is pregnant by her ne'er-do-well boyfriend. Joe, relentlessly upbeat and talkative, cracks Fin's reserve. The two take daily walks along the tracks, and after Olivia gives Fin a movie camera, Joe drives alongside a passing train so that Fin can film it. Joe and Fin sleep at Olivia's house after watching the footage and the next morning, meet a flustered, unannounced David. The trio's tentative friendship is threatened when Olivia descends into a deep depression and disappears. While Fin waits for Joe at a bar, Emily seeks solace in Fin, who realizes human interaction may not be wholly unpleasant. However, when Joe fails to show up and Fin tries to protect Emily from her boyfriend at a bar he pushes Fin aside, causing Fin to lapse back into his asocial behavior. The next day, Joe comes by to apologize, but a frustrated Fin tells him that he just wants to be left alone. Hurt, Joe takes his truck and leaves the train site. Soon after, Emily comes to apologize for the trouble earlier, and after she and Fin share a kiss, she spends the night with Fin after asking if she can "just sleep" there. Cleo asks Fin if Olivia is coming back; he replies that he doesn't know. Keeping an eye on Olivia's house, he sees her arguing on the phone with David and goes onto her porch. Olivia angrily tells him to leave. Fin spends the night drinking and, collapsing on the track, gets passed over by a train, unharmed but for his pocket watch. Fin walks to Olivia's home only to find she has attempted suicide. Olivia reveals that David is having another baby with a different woman. Fin tidies up Olivia's home while she recuperates in the hospital and reconciles with Joe. Fin finds the courage to talk to the schoolchildren about trains. Olivia, Joe, and Fin share a meal at Olivia's house, their conversation filled with some small talk and reconciliation. Olivia and Joe tease Fin about Emily, suggesting he see her again.

On the Polynesian island of Motunui, the inhabitants worship the goddess of nature, Te Fiti; a living island who, long ago, brought life to the ocean using a pounamu stone as her heart and the source of her power. One day, Maui, the shape-shifting demigod of the wind and sea and master of wayfinding, stole Te Fiti's heart to give humanity the power of creation. This caused Te Fiti to disintegrate, and Maui was attacked by Te Kā, a volcanic demon. Maui lost both the heart and his magic fish hook to the depths of the sea. A thousand years later, the ocean chooses Moana, the daughter of Motunui's chief Tui, to return the heart to Te Fiti. Tui and Sina, Moana's parents, try to keep her away from the ocean to prepare her to become the island's chief. Sixteen years later, blight strikes the island, killing vegetation and shrinking the fish catch. Moana suggests going beyond the island's reef with her pet pig, Pua, to find more fish and discover what is happening, but Tui forbids it. Moana tries conquering the reef, but is overpowered by the tides and shipwrecked. That afternoon, Moana's grandmother Tala shows her a secret cavern of ships and reveals Motunui's people were voyagers until Maui stole Te Fiti's heart; the ocean was no longer safe without it. Tala explains Te Kā's darkness is destroying the island, but can be cured if Moana finds Maui and has him restore the heart of Te Fiti. Having been given the heart by the ocean, Tala gives it to Moana. Tala later becomes gravely ill and tells Moana to find Maui. Moana sets sail on a camakau from the cavern along with her dimwitted pet rooster, Heihei, who stowed away on it. They are caught in a typhoon and shipwrecked on an island, where she finds Maui, who boasts about his achievements. She demands Maui return the heart, but he refuses and traps her in a cave before leaving on her boat. She escapes and confronts Maui, who reluctantly lets her on the camakau. They are attacked by Kakamora, coconut pirates who seek the heart, but Moana and Maui outwit them. Moana realizes Maui is no longer a hero since he stole the heart and cursed the world, and convinces him to redeem himself by returning the heart. However, Maui first needs to retrieve his fishhook in Lalotai, the Realm of Monsters, from Tamatoa, a giant coconut crab. While Moana distracts Tamatoa, Maui retrieves his hook, only to find himself unable to control his shape-shifting. He is overpowered by Tamatoa, but Moana's quick thinking allows them to escape with the hook. Maui reveals his first tattoo was earned when his human parents abandoned him as an infant, and the gods, taking pity on him, granted him his powers. After reassurance from Moana, Maui teaches her the art of way-finding, regaining control of his powers, and the two grow closer. They arrive at Te Fiti's island, only to be attacked by Te Kā. Moana refuses to turn back, resulting in Maui's hook being badly damaged. Unwilling to lose his hook again, Maui abandons Moana, who loses hope and tearfully asks the ocean to find someone else to restore the heart. The ocean obliges and takes the heart, but Tala's spirit appears, inspiring Moana to find her true calling. Moana retrieves the heart and sails back to confront Te Kā. Maui returns, having had a change of heart, and buys Moana time to reach Te Fiti by fighting Te Kā, destroying his hook in the process. Upon being unable to find Te Fiti, Moana realizes Te Kā is Te Fiti, but corrupted without her heart. The ocean clears a path for Moana, allowing her to return the heart to Te Fiti, who heals the ocean and islands of blight. Maui apologizes to Te Fiti, who fixes his hook as well as Moana's boat before falling into a deep sleep and becoming an island. Moana bids farewell to Maui and Te Fiti, returning home and reuniting with her parents. After placing a shell on top of the stack of stones placed by all previous chiefs, Moana takes up her role as chieftess and wayfinder, leading her people as they resume voyaging, accompanied by Maui.

London-based journalist Martin Sixsmith has lost his job as a government adviser. He is approached at a party by the daughter of Philomena Lee. She suggests that he write a story about her mother, who was forced to give up her toddler son Anthony nearly fifty years ago. Though Sixsmith is initially reluctant to write a human interest story, he meets Philomena and decides to investigate her case. In 1951, Philomena became pregnant after having sex with a man she did not know at a county fair, so was sent by her father to Sean Ross Abbey in Roscrea in Ireland. After giving birth, she was forced to work in the convent laundry for four years, with little contact with her son. The nuns gave her son up for adoption without giving Philomena a chance to say goodbye. She kept her lost son a secret from her family for nearly fifty years. Martin and Philomena begin their search at the convent. The nuns claim that the adoption records were destroyed in a fire years earlier; they did not, however, lose the contract she was forced to sign decades ago forbidding her from contacting her son, which Martin considers suspicious. At a pub, the locals tell Martin that the convent burnt the records deliberately, and that most of the children were sold for £1,000 each to wealthy Americans. Martin's investigation reaches a dead end in Ireland, but he receives a promising lead from the United States so invites Philomena to accompany him there. His contacts help him discover that Anthony was renamed Michael A. Hess, who became a lawyer and senior official in the Reagan and George H. W. Bush administrations. When Philomena notices Martin in the background of a photo of Michael, he remembers that he met him years earlier while working in the US. They also learn that he has been dead for eight years. Philomena decides she wants to meet people who knew Michael to learn more about him from them. Visiting a former colleague of Michael's they discover that Michael was gay and died of AIDS. They also visit his 'sister' Mary, who was adopted at the same time from the convent, and learn that they were both emotionally and physically abused by their adoptive parents, and hear about Michael’s partner, Pete Olsson. After avoiding Martin's attempts to contact him, Pete agrees to talk to Philomena. He shows her some videos of his life with Michael. To Martin and Philomena's surprise, they see footage of Michael, dated shortly before he died, at the Abbey where he was adopted, and Pete explains that, although he never told his family, Michael had privately wondered about his birth mother all his life, so had returned to Ireland in his final months to try to find her. Pete informs them that the nuns had told Michael that his mother had abandoned him and they had lost contact with her. He also reveals that, against his parents' wishes, he had Michael buried in the convent's cemetery. Philomena and Martin return to the convent to ask where Michael's grave is. Despite Philomena's pleas, Martin angrily forces his way into the private quarters and argues with an elderly nun, Sister Hildegarde McNulty, who worked at the convent when Anthony was forcibly adopted. He accuses her of lying to Anthony and denying him the chance to finally reunite with Philomena, purely out of self-righteousness. Hildegarde is unrepentant, saying that losing her son was Philomena's penance for having sex out of wedlock. Martin demands an apology, telling her that what she did was un-Christian, but is speechless when Philomena instead chooses to forgive her of her own volition. She then asks to see her son's grave, where Martin tells her he has chosen not to publish the story. Philomena tells him to publish it anyway.

In early April 1923, near the end of the Irish Civil War, on the fictional isle of Inisherin (lit. ' the island of Ireland '), fiddler Colm Doherty abruptly begins ignoring his lifelong best friend and drinking buddy Pádraic Súilleabháin. When a hurt Pádraic presses Colm for an explanation, he says that Pádraic is too dull, and he would rather spend the remainder of his life composing music and doing things for which he will be remembered. Pádraic is devastated and refuses to accept the situation, while Colm only becomes more resistant to his old friend's attempts to make amends, eventually giving Pádraic an ultimatum: every time Pádraic talks to him, Colm will cut off one of his own fingers. The local Garda, Peadar Kearney, beats his troubled son Dominic severely for drinking his poitín, and Pádraic and his sister, Siobhán, take Dominic in for a night. While delivering milk to the market, Pádraic is insulted by Peadar and retaliates by making public the fact that Peadar abuses his son. Peadar punches him to the ground. Having witnessed this, Colm drives Pádraic home; the two do not speak. Siobhán and Dominic try to defuse the pair's feud, to no avail. Pádraic drunkenly confronts Colm and berates him for throwing away their friendship, as well as for drinking with Peadar, whom he publicly accuses of molesting Dominic. After Siobhán leads Pádraic away, Colm says that this is the most interesting Pádraic has ever been, which Dominic overhears. The next morning, not remembering what he has said, Pádraic attempts to apologise to Colm, but the conversation goes badly. Colm responds by cutting off his left index finger and throwing it at Pádraic's door. Pádraic later sees Colm meeting with Declan, a fiddler from the mainland. Jealous, Pádraic tricks Declan into returning home by lying that his father was hit by a bread van. As the tensions worsen, local elder Mrs McCormick warns Pádraic that death will come to the island soon. Dominic tells Pádraic what Colm said about him in the pub; encouraged, Pádraic tells Dominic what he did to Declan, but Dominic, disappointed, rejects him as mean and refuses to speak to him anymore. Thereafter, Siobhán sympathetically rejects Dominic's romantic advances. Pádraic gets drunk and starts another confrontation with Colm at Colm's house; Colm says he has finished composing his song ("The Banshees of Inisherin") and seems finally open to renewing their friendship, but Pádraic drunkenly reveals what he did to Declan. Instead of meeting Pádraic at the pub, Colm cuts off all four of his remaining left fingers and throws them at Padraic's door. Fed up by the feud and long bored with life on the island, Siobhán moves to the mainland for a job in a library. Devastated, Pádraic comes home to find his pet donkey Jenny has choked to death on one of Colm's fingers. He confronts Colm at the pub; Colm offers a truce, but an embittered Pádraic informs him that he will burn his house down the next day at 2 pm. At the promised time the next day, Pádraic does so; he looks in a window and sees Colm calmly sitting inside. Pádraic takes Colm's dog Sammy with him to save him from the fire. Peadar watches Pádraic burn down the house, and as he rushes to Pádraic's house to confront him, he encounters Mrs McCormick, who leads Peadar to Dominic's corpse in the lake. After returning home, Pádraic writes a letter to Siobhán that says Jenny is doing well and glosses over his lonely, friendless life. The next morning, Pádraic takes Sammy back and finds Colm, who survived the fire, standing on the beach beside his burnt-out house. Colm apologises for the donkey's death and suggests destroying the house has ended their feud; Pádraic replies that it would have ended only if Colm had stayed inside. Colm wonders whether the Civil War is coming to an end; Pádraic replies he is sure the fighting will begin again soon because "some things there's no moving on from", adding that he thinks that is "a good thing" before leaving. Unbeknownst to either, Mrs McCormick silently watches them from the remains of Colm's house.

Peter Gibbons is a frustrated and unmotivated programmer who works at software company Initech. Unable to stand up to his overcritical girlfriend, Anne, he is in love with local waitress Joanna, but is afraid to speak to her. He is friends with co-workers Samir Nagheenanajar, who hates that no one can pronounce his last name, and Michael Bolton, who hates having the same name as the famous singer. Other co-workers include Milton Waddams, a meek collator who mumbles to himself and is mostly ignored by the rest of the office; and Tom Smykowski, a jaded product manager who is routinely scared of being fired. The staff suffers under top-heavy, callous management, especially from vice president Bill Lumbergh, a tedious micromanager who regularly humiliates Milton and makes Peter work almost every weekend. Peter hates Lumbergh but avoids confronting him. Anne persuades Peter to attend an occupational hypnotherapy session led by Dr. Swanson. Swanson hypnotizes Peter and tells him to feel relaxed and stop caring about his job until he snaps his fingers. However, Swanson suddenly dies of a heart attack before snapping Peter out of it. Peter sleeps soundly through the next day, ignoring phone calls from Lumbergh and Anne, who angrily breaks up with him while confirming his suspicions that she has been cheating on him. Two business consultants are brought in to help the company downsize, and Peter begins dating Joanna. She works at a chain restaurant where she is required to wear "pieces of flair": buttons allowing employees to "express themselves". Her boss hassles her for not wearing more than the required minimum. Peter eventually shows up to work and casually disregards office protocol, stealing Lumbergh's parking space, violating the dress code, and removing a cubicle wall that blocks his view out the window. Impressed by Peter's frank insights into Initech's problems, the consultants promote him despite Lumbergh's misgivings; however, they lay off Michael, Samir, and Tom. While attempting to do the same to Milton, they learn that he had already been laid off five years prior but had not been notified and was still receiving his salary due to a payroll glitch. They fix the glitch and stop Milton's salary payments without telling him, while Lumbergh continues to mistreat him by confiscating his beloved red stapler and repeatedly relocating his desk, eventually down to the basement. Tired of their own mistreatment, Peter, Michael, and Samir decide to take revenge by infecting Initech's accounting system with a computer virus designed by Michael to divert huge numbers of fractions of pennies into a bank account. Peter successfully installs the virus, and on Michael and Samir's last day, he steals a frequently malfunctioning printer, which the three proceed to destroy in a field. They also learn that Tom attempted suicide prior to being laid off, but then changed his mind, and in the process got into an accident that resulted in him winning a large amount of money in damages from a lawsuit. At a party at Tom's house, Peter hears rumors from a colleague that Joanna had slept with Lumbergh. When Joanna confirms this, a heated exchange leads to them breaking up. Frustrated with her job, Joanna quits in response to another lecture about her lack of "flair", giving her boss the middle finger as she does so. On Monday, Peter discovers that a bug in Michael's code has caused the virus to steal over $300,000 across the weekend, which guarantees they will be caught and sent to federal prison. Unable to conceal the crime, Peter decides to accept full responsibility, writing a confession and slipping it under Lumbergh's office door after hours, along with traveler's checks for the stolen money. Peter learns that the 'Lumbergh' with whom Joanna slept was Ron Lumbergh, another software engineer unrelated to Bill Lumbergh. He meets Joanna, who has started a new job at another restaurant, to apologize, and they reconcile. The next morning, Peter drives to Initech to turn himself in, but the problem has solved itself: Milton has committed arson and burned down the building as an act of revenge against the company. With the evidence of his crime destroyed, Peter begins his new job working in construction with his neighbor Lawrence, while Samir and Michael join Initech's rival, Initrode. Having found the traveler's checks, Milton escapes to Mexico but continues to be denied respect.

In 1941, up-and-coming Broadway playwright Barton Fink accepts a contract from Capitol Pictures in Hollywood to write film scripts for a thousand dollars per week. Upon moving to Los Angeles, Fink settles into the cheap Hotel Earle. His room's only decoration is a small painting of a woman on the beach, arm raised to block the sun. Fink is assigned to a wrestling film by his new boss Jack Lipnick, but he finds difficulty in writing for the unfamiliar subject. He is distracted by sounds coming from the room next door, and he phones the front desk to alert them of the disturbing sounds. His neighbor, Charlie Meadows, the source of the noise, visits Fink to apologize. During their conversation, Fink proclaims his affection for "the common man", and Meadows describes his life as an insurance salesman. Still unable to proceed beyond the first lines of his script, Fink consults producer Ben Geisler for advice. Irritated, the frenetic Geisler takes him to lunch and orders him to consult another writer for assistance. Fink meets the novelist W. P. Mayhew by chance in the bathroom. They briefly discuss movie-writing and arrange a second meeting later in the day. Fink later learns from Mayhew's secretary, Audrey Taylor, that Mayhew suffers from alcoholism and that Taylor ghostwrote some of his scripts. With one day left before his meeting with Lipnick to discuss the film, Fink phones Taylor and begs her for assistance. Taylor visits him at the Earle and they have sex. Fink awakens the next morning to find that Taylor has been violently murdered. Horrified, he summons Meadows and asks for help. Meadows is repulsed but disposes of the body and orders Fink to avoid contacting the police. After Fink has a meeting with an unusually supportive Lipnick, Meadows announces to Fink that he is going to New York for several days, and asks him to watch over a package he is leaving behind. Soon afterwards, Fink is visited by two police detectives, who inform him that Meadows's real name is Karl "Madman" Mundt. Mundt is a serial killer whose modus operandi is beheading his victims. Stunned, Fink places the box on his desk without opening it and he begins writing feverishly. Fink produces the entire script in one sitting and he goes out for a night of celebratory dancing, returning to find the detectives in his room, who inform him of Mayhew's murder and accuse Fink of complicity with Mundt. As the hotel is suddenly engulfed in flames, Mundt appears and kills the detectives with a shotgun, after which he mentions that he had paid a visit to Fink's parents and uncle in New York. Fink leaves the still-burning hotel, carrying the box and his script. Shortly thereafter he attempts to telephone his family, but there is no answer. In a final meeting with Lipnick, who has been conscripted by the United States Army Reserve to serve as a colonel in the Second World War, Fink's script (which is suggested to be a nearly word-for-word copy of the Broadway play shown in the opening scene) is lambasted as "a fruity movie about suffering", and he is informed that he is to remain in Los Angeles; although Fink will remain under contract, Capitol Pictures will not produce anything he writes until he "grows up a little". Dazed, Fink wanders onto a beach, still carrying the package. He meets a woman who looks just like the one in the picture on his wall at the Earle, and she asks about the box. He tells her he does not know what it contains nor who owns it. He asks her if she has ever been in pictures, and she says no. She then assumes the pose from the picture on the hotel room wall. In the background, a seagull falls into the water and dies.

Aspiring architect Tom Hansen works as a writer at a greeting card company in Los Angeles. He meets Summer Finn, his boss Vance's new assistant. They bond over their similar musical tastes, and at a company-sponsored karaoke night, they discuss love, which he believes in, unlike her, as her own parents had divorced. Tom's friend and co-worker drunkenly reveals that Tom likes Summer, which both assert is merely a close friendship. A few days later, Summer spontaneously kisses Tom in the office; Tom agrees to a casual relationship, and that night, they have sex. Over the first few months of their relationship, they grow closer. Tom accompanies Summer to a park bench in the city, his favorite location. Eventually, Tom's friends and work colleagues as well as his adolescent half-sister Rachel urge him to ask Summer about their relationship status, but Summer insists it is unimportant as long as both parties are satisfied. One night, Tom brawls with a man who attempts to make sexual and romantic advances toward Summer in a bar. After an argument, they reconcile and Summer concedes that Tom deserves some certainty but cannot promise to always feel affection for him. Slowly, their relationship becomes less passionate and they begin to continuously argue. After Summer quits her job at the greeting card company and ends things with Tom, citing their unhappiness, Vance transfers him to the consolations department, as his depression is making him unsuitable for happier events. A blind date with a woman named Alison fails, as Tom spends it complaining about Summer. Months later, Tom is invited to attend the marriage of a work colleague named Millie and attempts to avoid Summer on the train heading to the occasion, but she notices him and invites him for coffee. At the ceremony, Summer catches the bouquet thrown by Millie, and dances with Tom at the wedding reception. After she invites him to a party at her apartment, he arrives, hoping to rekindle their romance, but notices her wearing an engagement ring and tearfully departs. Sinking further into depression, Tom secludes himself in his apartment, only emerging for alcohol and junk food. After a few days, he returns to work heavily inebriated and emotionally quits his job on the spot. Rachel criticizes Tom's attitude, explaining that Summer was the wrong woman for him and that his depression stems from focusing solely on happy instances in the relationship. Tom finally reflects on the incompatibilities he'd overlooked. One day, he energetically rededicates himself to architecture, as Summer had encouraged him to do. He assembles a portfolio and secures job interviews. Tom and Summer re-encounter each other at the park bench. She has recently married, and he admits his inability to comprehend it as she never wanted to be serious with anyone. She explains that when she met her now-husband, she was sure of him in a way she wasn't about Tom. When he acknowledges his shortcomings about believing in true love, she reassures him that his beliefs are justified, but stresses their own romantic incompatibility. He wishes her happiness as she departs. On Wednesday, May 23, Tom encounters a young woman who is interviewing for the same position at an architectural firm as him, and they connect over his favorite location. He invites her for coffee once both of them are finished with the interview. She declines, but then changes her mind, revealing that her name is Autumn.

The film opens with a pre-taped sketch depicting a scene from Murphy's childhood. At a family Thanksgiving in November 1968, the children take turns showing their talents to the assembled relatives (including one played by Murphy himself). Young Eddie (Deon Richmond) shocks the family with a rude joke about a monkey and a lion. While the rest of the adults are shocked, his aunt and uncle are delighted and the uncle (Samuel L. Jackson) proclaims, "I love that doo-doo line. That boy's got talent!" After emerging on stage for the live show, Murphy begins by discussing the angry reactions of celebrities parodied in his previous stand-up show, Delirious, specifically Mr. T and Michael Jackson, as well as homosexual viewers offended by his jokes about " faggots." Murphy then narrates a phone call he received from Bill Cosby chastising him for using profanity on stage. Angered by Cosby's assumption that his entire act was nothing but "filth flarn filth," Murphy calls Richard Pryor for advice. Pryor declares that his only concerns should be making audiences laugh and getting paid, and recommends that he tell Cosby to " Have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up." Murphy elaborates on his admiration for the "raw" comedy of Pryor, running through a routine from his own teenage years about defecation, in Pryor's voice. He then goes on to talk about how people who don't speak English only pick up the curse words in his act, and shout them at him on the street. Next comes a lengthy routine about dating and relationships. Murphy explains that the rise of deadly sexually transmitted infections has motivated him to seek marriage, but the divorce of Johnny Carson and Joanna Holland (in which she sought 50% of his assets) has left him paranoid about the financial risk of marriage, concluding that "no pussy is worth $150 million." He mocks the aggression and materialism of American women (compared to his belief in the meekness of Japanese women), referring to the popularity of Janet Jackson 's song " What Have You Done for Me Lately." He jokes that he intends to go deep into Africa to find a "bush bitch" who has no concept of Western culture... at least until American women convince her to stand up for herself and demand "HALF!" This develops into a broader warning to men to avoid "the pussy trap," and a warning to women that men never remain faithful — once a man has evoked a powerful orgasm from a woman ("ooohhhh!") she will tolerate all kinds of misbehavior, although she may pursue infidelity of her own. The next segment narrates a childhood memory of his mother promising to cook him a hamburger "better than McDonald's," only to produce an unappealing "big, welfare, green-pepper burger," a lump of beef filled with onion and green peppers on Wonder Bread (while the neighborhood children show off their McDonald's hamburgers in a call-back to the ice cream segment of Delirious), but he states that as an adult, he has more of an appreciation of the tastiness of his mom's homemade dish. Murphy then talks about white people out on the town, criticizing their embarrassing dance moves, leading onto Italian-Americans being inspired by Rocky, then culminates to a bit about fighting in a discotheque with Deney Terrio, eventually starting a large-scale brawl after which "everybody sued me" for millions of dollars. After the fight, Murphy calls his parents, leading to a long impression of his drunken stepfather (another call-back to a popular bit from Delirious). This final segment runs for over ten minutes and incorporates his stepfather's habit of misquoting Motown songs (including "Ain't Too Proud to Beg", which opened the film).

American actor Phillip Vanderploeg lives in Tokyo and constantly searches for work following his success in a toothpaste commercial seven years earlier. He is stuck taking minor roles until he is hired by Rental Family, a company that provides actors to play stand-in family members and friends for strangers. Initially reluctant due to its absurd premise, Phillip, desperate for funds, takes more jobs after the company's owner, Shinji, insists that they need a " token white guy ". Phillip is hired to act as the fiancé of Yoshie, who wants to perform a traditional wedding for her parents. Phillip nearly bails, reluctant to lie to Yoshie's family, but his co-worker Aiko convinces him to commit. Phillip later discovers that Yoshie is a closeted lesbian who is already married and is planning to depart to Canada with her wife. They profusely thank him for his help, giving him a different perspective on the job. Phillip takes on two long-term jobs - in one, he acts as the estranged father of a young half-Japanese girl named Mia, whose single mother, Hitomi, believes that presenting Phillip as Mia's real father will help Mia enroll in a private school. In another, Phillip is hired by a woman named Masami to act as a journalist profiling her father Kikuo Hasegawa, a retired actor with dementia; Masami hopes Phillip will make Kikuo feel remembered. Phillip forms strong bonds with Kikuo and Mia, who initially resents her "father" for abandoning her but eventually warms up to him. Phillip's agent informs him that he has landed a highly coveted role, which he declines for Mia's sake. Hitomi warns Phillip against getting too close to Mia and is offended when he criticizes her for planning Mia's whole life for her. At Masami's insistence, Phillip reluctantly declines Kikuo's request to take him to his abandoned childhood home in Amakusa. He also learns that some of Aiko's jobs involve her pretending to be a mistress apologizing to the wives of unfaithful husbands, often resulting in her being physically assaulted. Phillip is reluctant to lose the connections he has made, but Shinji asserts that parting ways with clients is a brutal but inevitable part of the job. Following the successful school interview, Phillip is forced to tell Mia that he must return to the United States. His time with her inspires him to take Kikuo to Amakusa. There, Kikuo finds a time capsule containing pictures of himself with his first wife, who died of an illness shortly after he left her to pursue his acting career in Tokyo; he breaks down upon seeing the photos and tearfully thanks Phillip for bringing him. Shinji calls Phillip and berates him for "kidnapping" Kikuo, but Phillip accuses him of using Rental Family to soullessly fill empty holes rather than make genuine connections. Kikuo collapses from exhaustion and is rushed to the hospital by Phillip, who is arrested for Kikuo's abduction. Mia discovers Phillip's true identity when her friend recognizes him on television. She is initially upset with her mother for lying to her, but later forgives her. During another session where Aiko acts as a man's mistress, she breaks character, informs the man's wife of the truth, and makes an oral resignation to Shinji. At home, a perplexed Shinji dismisses his "wife" and teenage "son," revealing them to be rented actors. Aiko and her co-worker Kota pretend to be lawyers interviewing Kikuo in an attempt to exonerate Phillip. Shinji also arrives, posing as a police detective. They convince Masami not to press charges against Phillip. Some time later, Kikuo dies in his sleep. Aiko, Shinji, Kota, and Phillip attend his funeral, where Phillip lays the photos from the time capsule on his body. Phillip visits Mia, who was accepted into the school. He reintroduces himself to her with his real name, and the two continue to spend time together as friends. Phillip and Aiko continue working at Rental Family, which discontinues the "apology services" that led to Aiko's abuse. Phillip returns to the Shinto shrine he once prayed at with Kikuo; having previously declined Kikuo's invitation to see what he was praying to, he looks inside, sees his reflection in a mirror, and smiles.

Fujimoto, a misanthropic wizard who was once a human, lives underwater with his daughter Brunhilde and her numerous smaller sisters, who are goldfish-like creatures with human faces. While she and her siblings are on an outing with their father in his four-flippered submarine, Brunhilde sneaks off and floats away on the back of a jellyfish. After an encounter with a fishing trawler, she becomes trapped in a glass jar and drifts to the shore of a small fishing town where she is rescued by a five-year-old boy named Sōsuke. While shattering the jar with a rock, Sōsuke cuts his finger. Brunhilde licks his blood, healing the wound almost instantly. Sōsuke names her Ponyo and promises to protect her. Meanwhile, a distraught Fujimoto searches frantically for his lost daughter whom he believes to have been kidnapped. He calls his wave spirits to recover her, leaving Sōsuke heartbroken and confused by what happened. Ponyo refuses to let her father call her by her birth name, declaring her desire to be a human named Ponyo. She magically begins changing into a human, a power granted to her by Sōsuke's human blood that she licked. Fujimoto forces her back into her true form and leaves to summon Ponyo's mother, Gran Mamare. Meanwhile, Ponyo, with the help of her sisters, breaks away from her father and inadvertently uses his magic to make herself human. The huge amount of magic that she releases into the ocean causes an imbalance in nature, resulting in a tsunami. Ponyo goes back to Sōsuke, who is amazed and overjoyed to see her. His mother, Lisa, allows her to stay at their house. Lisa leaves after the tsunami subsides to check up on the residents of the nursing home where she works, promising Sōsuke that she will return home as soon as possible. Gran Mamare arrives at Fujimoto's submarine. Sōsuke's father, Kōichi, sees her traveling and recognizes her as the Goddess of Mercy. Fujimoto notices the moon appears to be falling out of its orbit and satellites are falling like shooting stars, symptoms of the dangerous imbalance of nature that now exists. Gran Mamare reassures him, and declares that if Sōsuke can pass a test, Ponyo can live as a human and the balance of nature will be restored. Fujimoto, still worried, reminds her that if Sōsuke fails the test, Ponyo will turn into sea foam. The next day, Sōsuke and Ponyo find that most of the land around the house has been covered by the ocean. Since it is impossible for Lisa to come home, the two decide to find her. With Ponyo's magic, they make Sōsuke's pop-pop boat bigger to traverse the waters, seeing marine life from the Late Devonian period and more people on boats. When they reach the forest, however, Ponyo tires and falls asleep, and the boat slowly reverts to its original size. Sōsuke drags Ponyo to the shore, where he finds Lisa's abandoned car. As they continue walking, Ponyo mysteriously reverts to her fish form. Meanwhile, Gran Mamare grants Lisa and the residents of the nursing home the temporary ability to breathe in water. Ponyo and Sōsuke encounter Fujimoto, who warns the boy about the imbalance of nature and begs him to return Ponyo to him. Despite their attempt to escape, Fujimoto captures them and transports them to the protected nursing home. Sōsuke reunites with Lisa and meets Gran Mamare, with whom Lisa has just had a long private conversation. Gran Mamare asks him if he can love Ponyo whether she is a fish or human; Sōsuke confirms that he does. She then informs her daughter that she must relinquish her magical powers if she decides to permanently transform into a human. Ponyo agrees, and she is encased in a bubble given to Sōsuke, who is instructed to kiss it to complete Ponyo's transformation, as the balance of nature is restored. The previously stranded ships head back to port. Fujimoto respects his daughter's choice, having decided he can trust Sōsuke. Ponyo then joyfully jumps high in the air and kisses Sōsuke, completing her transformation into a human.

While driving through Alabama, New York college students Bill Gambini and Stan Rothenstein stop at a convenience store, where Bill absentmindedly pockets a can of tuna. After they leave, the store clerk is found robbed and murdered, and the boys are pulled over and arrested. At the police station, Bill assumes he has been caught shoplifting and confesses, leading to his being charged with murder and Stan as an accessory. Unable to afford a private attorney, Bill calls on his cousin, Vinny Gambini, a personal injury lawyer from Brooklyn, who agrees to take the case. Unbeknownst to them, Vinny has only just passed the bar after numerous failed attempts and has no trial experience. He travels to Alabama with his fiancée, Mona Lisa Vito. Vinny convinces the trial judge, Chamberlain Haller, that he is an experienced New York attorney practicing under the alias "Jerry Gallo" (later, "Jerry Callo"). Haller, however, repeatedly finds him in contempt for his attire, attitude, and lack of courtroom decorum, leading to several brief jail sentences. The prosecuting district attorney, Jim Trotter III, presents a strong but circumstantial case, calling multiple witnesses who implicate Bill and Stan in the murder. Vinny declines to cross-examine these witnesses during the preliminary hearing, alarming the defendants. Stan subsequently fires Vinny and retains the public defender, John Gibbons. Vinny's inexperience leads him to attempt tricking Trotter into sharing evidence, until Lisa informs him that he can legally obtain it through discovery. She also encourages him to begin interviewing the witnesses, which he proceeds to do. Lisa grows frustrated with Vinny, reminding him of his promise to marry her once he wins his first case, and fearing that day may never come. At the same time, Vinny is eager to prove himself to his mentor, Judge Malloy, who persuaded him to pursue a career in law. During the trial, Gibbons's nervousness and severe stutter undermine Stan's defense. Meanwhile, Vinny adopts an aggressive but perceptive questioning style that steadily discredits Trotter's witnesses. He uses his newfound knowledge of the cooking time of grits to show that one witness's timeline of the crime is inaccurate. He then challenges the others by questioning their ability to positively identify the suspects due to obstructions in their sightline and impaired vision. Impressed, Stan rehires Vinny to represent him. The next day, Trotter calls a surprise witness, FBI analyst George Wilbur. Wilbur testifies that tire tracks at the crime scene match those of the boys' 1964 Buick Skylark, though Vinny gets him to admit the tires are among the most common in the United States. Haller then orders a lunch recess and denies Vinny's request for a full-day continuance to prepare a rebuttal. Exhausted from lack of sleep, strained by Haller's hostility, and fearing he will lose the case, Vinny lashes out at Lisa when she tries to help. Soon after, however, he realizes that one of her photographs, showing the tire marks at the scene, may help the case. Vinny compels a reluctant Lisa to testify as an expert witness, drawing on her family background in auto repair and her encyclopedic knowledge of cars. Examining the photograph, Lisa explains that only the 1963 Pontiac Tempest, which resembles a Buick Skylark, could have made the tire tracks, due to its independent rear suspension and Positraction. Vinny recalls Wilbur to the stand, who confirms Lisa's testimony, simultaneously discrediting his own. The sheriff then testifies that, at Vinny's request, he identified two men fitting Bill's and Stan's description who were arrested in Georgia while driving a stolen Pontiac Tempest, and were carrying a gun matching the murder weapon. With the prosecution's case dismantled, Trotter moves to have all charges dismissed. Bill, Stan, the sheriff, Trotter, and Judge Haller congratulate Vinny on his success. As he and Lisa drive away, she reveals that she persuaded Judge Malloy to vouch for Vinny's fictitious "Jerry Callo" résumé. The couple then resumes bickering over their long-delayed wedding plans.