Six fish in a restaurant's tank greet each other, then see their friend being eaten. This leads them to question the meaning of life. In the first sketch, "The Miracle of Birth", maternity doctors ignore a woman in labour while trying to impress the hospital's administrator. In Yorkshire, a Roman Catholic man is made redundant from his job, and informs his numerous children that he must sell them for scientific experiments. A Protestant man looks on disapprovingly and proudly remarks that Protestants can use contraception and have sex for pleasure (although his wife observes that they never do). In "Growth and Learning", a class of boys learn school etiquette before partaking in a sex education lesson, which involves watching their teacher have sex with his wife. One boy laughs and is forced into a violent rugby match pitting pupils against the school masters as punishment. "Fighting Each Other" features three scenes concerning the British military. First, during the Battle of the Somme in World War I, a British officer tries to rally his men during an attack, but they instead present him with going-away gifts. Second, a modern army RSM bullies his soldiers to say what they would rather be doing than marching drills, then dismisses each in turn. Lastly, in 1879 during the Anglo-Zulu War during the Battle of Rorke's Drift, a soldier finds his leg has been bitten off. Suspecting a tiger, the soldiers hunt for it and find two men in a tiger costume. The hostess introduces "The Middle of the Film," during which bizarre characters challenge the audience in a segment called "Find the Fish." "Middle Age" involves an American couple visiting a Hawaiian restaurant with a medieval torture theme, where, to the interest of the fish, the waiter offers a conversation about philosophy and the meaning of life. The customers are unable to make sense of it and move on to a discussion of live organ transplants. In "Live Organ Transplants", two paramedics visit an organ donor and forcibly remove his liver while he is alive. His wife is reluctant to donate her liver, but she relents after a man steps out of a refrigerator and reminds her of humanity's insignificance in the universe. Executives of an American conglomerate debate the meaning of life before a raid by The Crimson Permanent Assurance briefly interrupts them. "The Autumn Years" starts with a musician in a French restaurant singing about the joys of having a penis. As the song ends, the ill-tempered glutton Mr. Creosote enters the restaurant, causing the fish to scatter and hide. He vomits continually and devours an enormous meal. After the maître d'hôtel persuades him to eat an after-dinner mint, Creosote's gut explodes, splattering the other diners. In "The Meaning of Life", the restaurant's cleaning woman proposes that life is meaningless before revealing that she is a racist. A waiter leads the audience to the house where he was born, recalls his mother's lessons about kindness, and then becomes angry when his point trails off. "Death" features a condemned man choosing the manner of his own execution: being chased off the Cliffs of Dover by topless women in sports gear and falling into his own grave below. In a short animated sequence, despondent leaves commit suicide by throwing themselves from the branches of a tree. The Grim Reaper enters an isolated home and convinces the hosts and dinner guests, with difficulty, that they are all dead. They accompany the Grim Reaper to Heaven, revealed to be the Hawaiian restaurant from earlier. They enter a Las Vegas -style hotel where they meet the characters from the previous sketches, and Tony Bennett -esque singer begins to sing about how amazing life is where it is always Christmas and various commercial items that can be bought in Heaven are there. The song abruptly ends for "The End of the Film", where the hostess from "The Middle of the Film" opens an envelope and blandly reveals the meaning of life: Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.

One thousand years have passed since the Seven Days of Fire, an apocalyptic war that destroyed civilization and caused an ecocide, creating the vast Toxic Jungle, a poisonous forest swarming with giant mutant insects. In the kingdom of the Valley of the Wind, a prophecy predicts a savior "clothed in a blue robe, descending onto a golden field". The Valley's 16-year-old princess Nausicaä explores the jungle and communicates with its creatures, including the gigantic, trilobite -like armored Ohm. She hopes to understand the jungle and find a way for it and humans to coexist. One morning, a massive cargo aircraft from the militaristic Empire of Tolmekia crashes in the Valley despite Nausicaä's efforts to save it. Its sole survivor, Princess Lastelle of Pejite, asks Nausicaä to destroy the cargo before she dies. The cargo is an embryo of a Giant Warrior, one of the lethal, gargantuan humanoid bioweapons that caused the Seven Days of Fire. Tolmekia seized the embryo and Lastelle from Pejite, but their plane was unable to support the embryo's weight and landed in the forest, causing the insects to attack. One of the insects emerges wounded from the wreckage and poises to attack, but Nausicaä uses a bullroarer to calm it and guides it away from the village. Soon after, Tolmekian soldiers under the command of Princess Kushana invade the Valley and kill Nausicaä's father, Jihl. Nausicaä briefly fights the Tolmekians, but the Valley's elderly swordsmaster, Yupa, intervenes and ushers both Nausicaä and the Tolmekians to stand down. Kushana, having retrieved the Giant Warrior's embryo, plans to mature and use the bioweapon to burn the Toxic Jungle. The valley's wise woman, Obaba, warns that such a feat cannot be done as many have tried to destroy the forest before, but the Ohm have attacked and destroyed many cities and killed thousands of people. Yupa discovers a secret garden of jungle plants that had been cared for by Nausicaä; according to her findings, plants that grow in clean soil and water are not toxic, but the jungle's soil has been tainted by pollution. Kushana leaves for Tolmekian-occupied Pejite with Nausicaä and five hostages from the Valley, but a Pejite interceptor shoots down the Tolmekian airships carrying them. Nausicaä, Kushana and the hostages crash-land in the jungle, disturbing several Ohm, which Nausicaä soothes. She leaves to rescue the interceptor's pilot, who turns out to be Princess Lastelle's twin brother, Asbel, but both crash through a stratum of quicksand into a non-toxic area below the Toxic Jungle. Nausicaä realizes that the jungle plants purify the polluted topsoil, producing clean water and soil underground. Nausicaä and Asbel reach Pejite but find it ravaged by insects. They learn that the local survivors lured the insects to eradicate the Tolmekians, and are doing the same to the Valley. Nausicaä is taken prisoner, but escapes with the help of a group of Pejite sympathizers, including Asbel and his mother. She soon discovers two Pejite soldiers using a wounded baby Ohm to lure thousands of Ohm into the Valley. As the Tolmekians fight against the Ohm, the Giant Warrior, having hatched prematurely, disintegrates after killing a fraction of the Ohm. Meanwhile, Nausicaä fights the Pejite soldiers and liberates the baby Ohm, but the pink dress she received from Asbel's mother is drenched in the Ohm's blue blood. Nausicaä and the Ohm return to the Valley and stand before the herd but are run over. The Ohm calm down and resuscitate her with their golden antennae resembling vines. Nausicaä walks atop the vines as though golden fields, fulfilling the savior prophecy. With the Valley saved, the Ohm and Tolmekians leave as the Pejites remain with the Valley people, helping them rebuild. Deep underneath the Toxic Jungle, a non-toxic tree sprouts.

Vladimir Ivanov, a saxophonist with the Moscow circus, lives in a crowded apartment with his extended family. In the grim living conditions and lack of personal freedom in the Soviet Union, he stands in lines for hours to buy toilet paper and shoes. When Boris, the apparatchik assigned to the circus, criticizes Vladimir for being late to rehearsal, and warns him that he may miss the approaching trip to New York City, Vladimir gives Boris a pair of shoes from the queue that made Vladimir late. While Ivanov is riding in his friend Anatoly's Lada, Anatoly stops to buy fuel for his car from a mobile black-market gasoline dealer. While the friends wait for the gasoline seller to fill Anatoly's jerrycans, the two practice their English. The circus troupe is sent to perform in New York City. Anatoly, who has talked of little else but defecting, cannot bring himself to go through with it; Vladimir, who had opposed the scheme as reckless and foolhardy, suddenly decides to do it. He runs from his Soviet controllers and hides behind a perfume counter at Bloomingdale's under the skirt of the clerk, Lucia Lombardo. When the NYPD and the FBI arrive, Vladimir stands up to his controllers and defects with news cameras rolling. Vladimir is left with nothing but the clothes on his back, the money in his pocket, and a pair of blue jeans that he had planned to buy for his girlfriend in Moscow. Lionel Witherspoon, a security guard who protected Vladimir from his Soviet handlers during the defection, takes him home to Harlem to live with Lionel's mother, unemployed father, sister, and grandfather—a living arrangement noticeably similar to Vladimir's family back in Moscow. With the help of a sympathetic immigration attorney and Cuban emigrant, Orlando Ramirez, Vladimir soon adapts to life in the United States. Vladimir attempts to find work despite speaking little English and fearing the threat of his former KGB handlers. He initially works as a busboy, McDonald's cashier, sidewalk merchant and limousine driver. Although these jobs enable Vladimir to eventually move into his own apartment, he begins to doubt that he will ever play saxophone professionally again. Vladimir starts a relationship with Lucia, the Bloomingdale's clerk. At a party celebrating Lucia's becoming an American citizen (Lucia originally being an Italian citizen), Vladimir proposes to her; but she refuses and, after an argument, breaks up with him. Lionel decides to return to Alabama to be closer to his young son. More bad news comes in a letter from Vladimir's family that his grandfather has died. Grieving, Vladimir goes to a Russian nightclub to ease his mind. When he returns to his apartment building drunk, he is mugged by two youths. He reports the incident to the police with his attorney Orlando present; the two go to a diner, where Vladimir rants about his misfortunes. During a confrontation with a burly man who makes it known that he is also a Soviet defector, Vladimir comes to appreciate his good fortune of living in the United States. Soon after, Lucia reunites with Vladimir, telling him that she is not ready for marriage, but would love to live with a fellow immigrant. Lionel moves back from Alabama, and he takes over Vladimir's job driving a limousine. Vladimir encounters his former KGB handler, who is now a street vendor selling hotdogs. He admits that he had to flee the Soviet Union due to his failure to prevent Vladimir's defection, but has also come to appreciate New York City. Vladimir soon gets a job in a nightclub, where he again plays the saxophone.

The film opens in modern Stockholm. Orphaned by his mother's death and father's disappearance, Bosse (Nicholas Pickard) suffers neglect by his guardians Aunt Edna (Gunilla Nyroos) and Uncle Sixten, as well as abuse from bullies. His best friend is Benke (Christian Bale), whose father Bosse envies. Running away one night to seek his own father, Bosse meets the kindly shopkeeper Mrs Lundin (Linn Stokke), who gives him an apple and asks him to mail a postcard. The postcard is addressed to the Land of Faraway, informing its King of Bosse's impending journey there. After Bosse mails the postcard, his apple turns golden. Dropping the transfigured apple in shock, Bosse stumbles upon a genie (Geoffrey Staines) trapped in a bottle and frees it. It turns out that this spirit has travelled from the Land of Faraway to seek Bosse, and that the golden apple is Bosse's identifying sign. With the boy clinging to his beard, the genie transports Bosse to the Land of Faraway and sets him down on Green Meadow Island. There, Bosse discovers that his real name is Mio, and that his father is the King (Timothy Bottoms). Treated with love and generosity, Mio leads an idyllic life on Green Meadow Island. He receives the horse Miramis as a gift from his father and makes friends with the local children. The latter include the farm boy Jiri, the shepherd boy Nonno, and the royal gardener's son Jum-Jum, who turns out to be Benke's double. Together, Mio and Jum-Jum learn to play pan flute music from Nonno. Not all is well however. From a whispering well, Mio learns that an iron-clawed knight from the Land Outside, Kato (Christopher Lee), has been kidnapping children and making them his servants by ripping out their hearts and replacing them with stone. Those who refuse to serve him are transformed into birds and condemned to circle his castle in flight. Even his name induces terror when spoken. With Jum-Jum and Miramis, Mio leaves Green Meadow Island and journeys to the Forest of Mysteries, where he tears his cape on the briars. The Weaver Woman (Susannah York) receives the boys at her house, mending Mio's torn cape and sewing a new lining into it. Hearing the Bird of Grief lament for Kato's victims, and told that the Weaver Woman's daughter Millimani is among them, Mio gradually learns of his long-prophesied destiny to confront Kato in the Land Outside. Journeying to the Land Outside, Mio and Jum-Jum meet Eno (Igor Yasulovich), a hungry old man living in a cave, and offer him food. In gratitude, Eno tells them to seek a weapon against Kato from the Forger of Swords, who has been imprisoned and enslaved by Kato in the Blackest Mountain beyond the Dead Forest. Meanwhile, Kato's servants capture Miramis. The boys are forced to continue their journey on foot, pursued by Kato's servants through the Dead Forest and the Blackest Mountain. Separated in the mountain's tunnels, the boys find each other by playing their pan-flutes. They finally reach the Forger of Swords (Sverre Anker Ousdal), who tells the boys about Kato's stone heart and provides Mio a sword capable of penetrating it. Mio and Jum-Jum journey to Kato's castle, where they are captured and imprisoned. Kato throws Mio's sword into the lake outside the castle. Mio soon discovers that his newly lined cape turns him invisible when worn inside-out, and reclaims his sword with the help of Kato's birds. Armed and invisible, he escapes and makes his way to Kato's chamber, eluding the castle guards. Taking off his cloak, Mio challenges Kato to combat and eventually slays him. Turning into rock, the dead knight crumbles into pieces. Mio picks up Kato's stone heart and holds it outside a window, where it transforms into a bird and flies away. Kato's birds turn back into children, Jum-Jum and Miramis are freed, and Kato's castle collapses into ruin. The Dead Forest begins to revive. Returning to Green Meadow Island, the children rejoin their families, and Mio rejoins his father.

One night, Caleb Colton, a young man in a small Oklahoma town, meets an attractive young drifter named Mae. Just before sunrise, she bites him on the neck and runs off. The rising sun causes Caleb's flesh to smoke and burn. Mae arrives with a group of roaming vampires in an RV and takes him away. The most psychotic of the vampires, Severen, wants to kill Caleb but Mae reveals that she has already turned him. Their charismatic leader, Jesse Hooker, reluctantly agrees to allow Caleb to remain with them for a week to see if he can learn to hunt and gain the group's trust. Caleb is unwilling to kill to feed, which alienates him from the others. To protect him, Mae kills for him and then has him drink from her wrist. Jesse's group enters a bar and kills the occupants. They set the bar on fire and flee the scene. All except Mae want to kill Caleb after he endangers them by letting the only living occupant escape, but after Caleb endangers himself to help them escape their motel room during a daylight police raid, Jesse and the others are grateful and temporarily mollified. A camaraderie commences, with Caleb asking Jesse how old he is and Jesse responding that he " fought for the South " (during the American Civil War), making him about 150 years old (Severen had earlier suggested he and Jesse started the Great Chicago Fire of 1871). Meanwhile, Caleb's father has been searching for Jesse's group. A child vampire in the group, Homer, meets Caleb's sister, Sarah, and wants to turn her into his companion, but Caleb objects. While the group argues, Caleb's father arrives and holds them at gunpoint, demanding that Sarah be released. Jesse taunts him into shooting him, then regurgitates the bullet before wrestling the gun away. In the confusion, Sarah opens a door, letting in the sunlight and forcing the vampires back. Burning, Caleb escapes with his family. Caleb suggests they try giving him a blood transfusion. The transfusion unexpectedly reverses Caleb's transformation. That night, the vampires search for Caleb and Sarah. Mae distracts Caleb by trying to persuade him to return to her while the others kidnap his sister. Caleb discovers the kidnapping and his tires slashed but gives chase on horseback. When the horse shies and throws him, he is confronted by Severen. Caleb commandeers a tractor-trailer and runs Severen over. The injured vampire suddenly appears on the hood of the truck and manages to rip apart the wiring in the engine. Caleb jackknifes the vehicle and jumps out as the truck explodes, killing Severen. Seeking revenge, Jesse and his girlfriend, Diamondback, pursue him but are forced to escape in their car as dawn breaks. Attempting to save Sarah, Mae breaks out of the back of the car with her. Mae's flesh begins to smoke as she is burned by the sun but she carries Sarah into Caleb's arms, taking refuge under his jacket. Homer attempts to follow, but as he runs he dies from exposure to the sun. Their sunproofing ruined, Jesse and Diamondback also begin to burn. They attempt to run Caleb and Sarah over but fail, dying as the car blows up. Mae awakens later, her burns now healed. She too has been given a transfusion and is cured. Mae says she is afraid, and Caleb pulls her into a hug to comfort her as the film ends.

The Feeble Variety Hour theatre troupe is rehearsing with hopes of finding success through being picked up for a syndicated television show. Star singer Heidi is insulted by pornographic director Trevor and complains to her boss and lover Bletch, who is having an affair with Samantha. Robert, the troupe's newest member, arrives at the theatre and immediately falls in love with newcomer Lucille. Arthur, the show's manager, helps Robert serenade Lucille, and the two become engaged. Samantha scornfully reveals to Heidi her relationship with Bletch. Animal tamer Sid is visited by his ex-girlfriend Sandy who reveals he has a son named Seymour and is preparing a paternity case. Bletch and his henchman Barry consummate a drug deal with dealer Cedric. Star Harry is suffering from an unknown illness, diagnosed as terminal, and is harassed by reporter F.W. Fly, who ultimately reports his illness to the tabloids. Robert is reassigned to assist drug-addicted knife-thrower Wynyard, who reveals he is a Vietnam veteran and convinces Robert to give him money for drugs under the pretext of charity. Bletch expresses dissatisfaction with Trevor's latest porn film, and Trevor sets his sights on Lucille as his new porn star. Trevor drugs and tries to rape Lucille, but is caught by Robert; believing that Lucille had made a move on Trevor, Robert disowns her. After a poor rehearsal and lambasted by director Sebastian, Heidi rushes to Bletch for emotional affirmation, but walks in on him with Samantha. Heidi refuses to perform, but relents after Bletch feigns attraction to her. Cedric's drugs are delivered but turn out to be borax. Travelling to the docks to retrieve the actual drugs, Bletch, Trevor, and Barry kill Cedric and his associates, but Barry is killed in the process. After seeing a newspaper article about Harry's illness, Bletch retaliates by killing Fly. Lucille tries to convince Robert of her love for him, but he tells her he never wants to see her again. Heidi's successful performance grants the Feebles approval for a syndicated television show. Heidi attempts to seduce Bletch, but Bletch confesses to Heidi that he hates her and wants to give her role to Samantha. Heidi mentally breaks down. Things go awry during the performances. An ailing Harry vomits, Sid is accosted by Sandy with Seymour, and a high Wynyard accidentally kills himself with one of his knives. After a failed attempt at hanging herself, Heidi prepares to commit suicide with an M60 machine gun. Samantha walks in and taunts Heidi, causing Heidi to snap and shoot Samantha dead. In a desperate attempt to save the show, Sebastian puts on a failed musical number about sodomy. Heidi goes on a shooting spree throughout the theatre, killing many of the troupe. Harry is killed after finding out his illness is not terminal, Sid is shot in the kneecaps while saving Seymour after Sandy is killed, and Sebastian hides in Harry's giant carrot-rocket which crashes in the chaos. Robert rescues Lucille from being shot and professes that he still loves her as Lucille tells him the truth about Trevor. Bletch attempts to talk Heidi into surrendering, but she opens fire on him. An injured Bletch claims that he loves Heidi before Trevor incapacitates her with a shotgun. Bletch orders Trevor to kill Heidi, but Robert intervenes by colliding with Trevor, allowing Heidi to shoot him dead. Bletch lunges at Heidi, but is killed too. Arthur tells Heidi that he has regrettably informed the police. Heidi accepts this and makes a last request for her musical number to be played. A photographic postscript reveals that Sid had surgery on his kneecaps and works in an orchard as a struggling horticulturist with his son Seymour. Arthur received an OBE for his lifelong service to theatre and retired to the country. Sebastian achieved worldwide fame for his best-selling book about the massacre, and is currently negotiating the film rights. Robert and Lucille are married with two children, with Robert now an award-winning fashion photographer for a women's magazine. After serving 10 years in a female penitentiary, Heidi has been rehabilitated into the community and works under a new identity on the check-out of a supermarket.

During Manhattan debutante season, middle-class Princeton student Tom Townsend attends a deb ball on a whim. A mix-up over a taxi home introduces him to a small group of young Upper East Side socialites known as the Sally Fowler Rat Pack, after the girl whose fancy apartment they use for afterparties. The Rat Pack invites him to the night's afterparty to prevent ill feelings. At the afterparty, Tom befriends several Rat Pack members, including Nick, a cynic who takes Tom under his wing; Audrey, a shy girl who enjoys Regency-era literature and develops a crush on Tom; and Charlie, a philosophical friend with an unrequited crush on Audrey. Tom learns that he and the Rat Pack have some common friends, including his ex-girlfriend Serena, with whom he remains infatuated. Under Nick's tutelage, Tom ingratiates himself with the Rat Pack. Although he initially sticks out due to his left-wing, Fourierist views, he fits into the social crowd and becomes a full-fledged member. Much of the film is composed of dialogues in which the Rat Pack discuss their nebulous social scene and uncertain futures. They worry that they are coming of age just as the culture in which they were raised is ending. One reason Tom fits in is that his social cachet trumps his wealth. He attended the Pomfret boarding school at the same time that Serena went to Farmington with several Rat Pack girls. Nick explains that the Rat Pack needs Tom because there is a shortage of socially respectable young men to escort debutantes to formal events. Although the Rat Pack welcomes him, Tom harbors a love–hate relationship with wealth and the upper class. His wealthy father abandoned the family to marry another woman, forcing Tom and his mother to move into a middle-class apartment on the Upper West Side. Tom slowly realizes that he is in denial about his distant relationship with his father. Serena has been dating Rick Von Sloneker, a young, titled aristocrat notorious for his womanizing. Nick resents Rick and accuses him of getting a girl drunk and convincing her to " pull a train " several years ago, after which she committed suicide. When Rick confronts him, Nick admits that his story is a "composite" of incidents from Rick's life. He insists that it is based on real events, but the Rat Pack is scandalized. As debutante season ends, the Rat Pack unravels. Nick leaves Manhattan. During a parlor game, Tom admits he loves Serena and not Audrey. In response, Audrey leaves to spend the rest of the vacation with Rick and their mutual friend Cynthia in the Hamptons. Charlie, who tells himself that society is out to get the elite, is surprised to hear that other young elites have achieved success in life. Tom learns that Sally is surreptitiously dating Allen, an older record producer; it is implied that Allen promised to make her a star. Realizing that he has developed feelings for Audrey, Tom recruits Charlie to help him rescue her from Rick. The two travel to Southampton, bonding en route. They are surprised to find Audrey in no peril. Tom and Charlie instigate a fight with Rick, who asks them to leave. Audrey is delighted to see that Tom and Charlie have come for her, and leaves with them. Tom and Audrey talk on the beach. Audrey says she is planning to attend college in France, and Tom contemplates visiting her there. Tom, Audrey, and Charlie begin hitchhiking to Manhattan together.

The story begins on "the strangest day" of Larry Burrows's life (his 35th birthday) consisting of a series of comic and dramatic misadventures. Larry blames his life's problems on having struck out during a key moment of his state high school baseball championship game on his 15th birthday. When he wishes he had done things differently, his wish is granted by a guardian angel -like figure named Mike, who intermittently appears as a bartender, a cab driver, and so on. Larry soon discovers that Mike has transferred him into an alternative reality in which he had won the pivotal high school game. He finds himself still working for the company he had been originally, albeit successful and in a powerful position, and married to the boss's sexy daughter Cindy Jo Bumpers. At first, his new life seems perfect, but he soon begins to miss his best friend Clip Metzler, and his wife Ellen from his previous life; he also discovers that his alternative self has created many enemies, like Jewel Jagger who was a forklift operator and now she is his secretary and lover. The story begins with Larry's car, an old Ford LTD station wagon, stalled out in a dark alley. Suddenly the pink lights of The Universal Joint, a bar, come on. Larry goes inside to call a tow truck and tells bartender Mike his troubles. He reviews the day he just had, which ended with his getting fired after discovering his department head Niles Pender's scheme to sell the company under the nose of its owners to a group of naive Japanese investors. He tells Mike that he wishes he had hit that last pitch out of the park, after which Mike fixes him a drink called "The Spilt Milk". The Spilt Milk was a drink that gave him his wish that he hit that home run in that championship game. Larry leaves the bar, walks home (his car apparently towed), and discovers someone else living in his house, which is now fixed up (previously his yard and driveway were muddy and unfinished). Mike appears as a cab driver and drives him to his "new" home, a mansion in Forest Hills, explaining that he did in fact hit the last pitch and won the game. He soon discovers that Cindy Jo is his wife and he's the president of his company, Liberty Republic Sporting Goods. Being a classic car buff, he's shocked to find that he owns a collection of priceless antique automobiles. Larry soon discovers that Clip has a low-level job in the accounting department and is quite insecure as opposed to the joker he previously was. Ellen is a shop steward (in both realities) and is married to another man. Jewel, a forklift operator in the previous reality, is now Larry's mistress and his secretary. Ellen hates Larry, and he discovers that the union is threatening a walkout due to massive layoffs and increased production since Niles is selling Liberty Republic in both realities. Seeing Ellen, he realizes how much he misses her and agrees to all the union's demands, provided Ellen agrees to dinner at his favorite restaurant. She reluctantly agrees, and Larry eventually convinces her that they were married in a previous life. After discovering that Larry has agreed to union demands, Niles takes revenge by telling both Cindy Jo and Jewel of Larry's dinner date with Ellen. He then plots to kill Larry at the office that night. However, company owner Leo Hansen arrives to deliver a note to Larry, announcing his termination at Cindy Jo's request, and Niles kills him by mistake. Discovering the note, Niles calls the police, who attempt to arrest Larry for Leo's murder. Larry escapes while jealous Jewel creates pandemonium outside in her attempts to shoot him (and shoots out several police cars in the process), leading to a police chase. Larry is eventually cornered in a dark alley, but the pink glow of "The Universal Joint" comes on and he runs into the bar. Unable to find Mike, Larry attempts to make the "Spilt Milk" himself, the ingredients clearly aged. What appears to be flashing police car lights appear and Larry surrenders. However, it is a tow truck driven by Duncan. Confused at first, Larry sees Mike back behind the bar and realizes he has been returned to his old life. Larry thanks Mike for everything and, upon exiting the bar, suddenly realizes that the deal with the Japanese investors is happening shortly. Driven by Duncan to company headquarters, Larry barges into the boardroom, decks Niles, and exposes his scheme just as Leo is about to sign the deal. Thinking everyone forgot his birthday, Larry returns home (which still has the muddy driveway and lawn) to a surprise party with his family and friends. Soon after, Cindy Jo and her husband Jackie Earle, the company president, arrive. Jackie offers Niles' job to Larry, plus a company car which is a new Mercedes, and Larry accepts. In the past, young Larry is about to leave the stadium, still upset about the loss, when he is greeted by a mysterious stranger in the stands (Mike) who reassures him that everything will be all right. Larry thanks him for the reassurance but walks off wondering who Mike thinks he is kidding.

While driving through Alabama, New York college students Bill Gambini and Stan Rothenstein stop at a convenience store, where Bill absentmindedly pockets a can of tuna. After they leave, the store clerk is found robbed and murdered, and the boys are pulled over and arrested. At the police station, Bill assumes he has been caught shoplifting and confesses, leading to his being charged with murder and Stan as an accessory. Unable to afford a private attorney, Bill calls on his cousin, Vinny Gambini, a personal injury lawyer from Brooklyn, who agrees to take the case. Unbeknownst to them, Vinny has only just passed the bar after numerous failed attempts and has no trial experience. He travels to Alabama with his fiancée, Mona Lisa Vito. Vinny convinces the trial judge, Chamberlain Haller, that he is an experienced New York attorney practicing under the alias "Jerry Gallo" (later, "Jerry Callo"). Haller, however, repeatedly finds him in contempt for his attire, attitude, and lack of courtroom decorum, leading to several brief jail sentences. The prosecuting district attorney, Jim Trotter III, presents a strong but circumstantial case, calling multiple witnesses who implicate Bill and Stan in the murder. Vinny declines to cross-examine these witnesses during the preliminary hearing, alarming the defendants. Stan subsequently fires Vinny and retains the public defender, John Gibbons. Vinny's inexperience leads him to attempt tricking Trotter into sharing evidence, until Lisa informs him that he can legally obtain it through discovery. She also encourages him to begin interviewing the witnesses, which he proceeds to do. Lisa grows frustrated with Vinny, reminding him of his promise to marry her once he wins his first case, and fearing that day may never come. At the same time, Vinny is eager to prove himself to his mentor, Judge Malloy, who persuaded him to pursue a career in law. During the trial, Gibbons's nervousness and severe stutter undermine Stan's defense. Meanwhile, Vinny adopts an aggressive but perceptive questioning style that steadily discredits Trotter's witnesses. He uses his newfound knowledge of the cooking time of grits to show that one witness's timeline of the crime is inaccurate. He then challenges the others by questioning their ability to positively identify the suspects due to obstructions in their sightline and impaired vision. Impressed, Stan rehires Vinny to represent him. The next day, Trotter calls a surprise witness, FBI analyst George Wilbur. Wilbur testifies that tire tracks at the crime scene match those of the boys' 1964 Buick Skylark, though Vinny gets him to admit the tires are among the most common in the United States. Haller then orders a lunch recess and denies Vinny's request for a full-day continuance to prepare a rebuttal. Exhausted from lack of sleep, strained by Haller's hostility, and fearing he will lose the case, Vinny lashes out at Lisa when she tries to help. Soon after, however, he realizes that one of her photographs, showing the tire marks at the scene, may help the case. Vinny compels a reluctant Lisa to testify as an expert witness, drawing on her family background in auto repair and her encyclopedic knowledge of cars. Examining the photograph, Lisa explains that only the 1963 Pontiac Tempest, which resembles a Buick Skylark, could have made the tire tracks, due to its independent rear suspension and Positraction. Vinny recalls Wilbur to the stand, who confirms Lisa's testimony, simultaneously discrediting his own. The sheriff then testifies that, at Vinny's request, he identified two men fitting Bill's and Stan's description who were arrested in Georgia while driving a stolen Pontiac Tempest, and were carrying a gun matching the murder weapon. With the prosecution's case dismantled, Trotter moves to have all charges dismissed. Bill, Stan, the sheriff, Trotter, and Judge Haller congratulate Vinny on his success. As he and Lisa drive away, she reveals that she persuaded Judge Malloy to vouch for Vinny's fictitious "Jerry Callo" résumé. The couple then resumes bickering over their long-delayed wedding plans.

Frank Drebin has retired from Police Squad and lives a seemingly happy life with his wife, Jane Spencer Drebin. In reality, Frank is unfulfilled as a househusband and attends marriage counseling with Jane. Six months after Frank's retirement, he is visited by Ed Hocken and Nordberg, who ask for his help with an investigation. Police Squad has learned that infamous bomber Rocco Dillon, who is currently incarcerated, has been hired by terrorists to conduct a bombing against the United States. Frank remembers Rocco's girlfriend Tanya Peters from an investigation years ago and agrees to help Ed and Nordberg by visiting the clinic where Peters works. Frank visits the clinic, but it turns out to be a sperm clinic, resulting in Frank having to give a sperm sample over and over again to avoid Tanya recognizing him. He manages to write Tanya's address on a handkerchief, but loses it before he can give it to Ed. Jane comes home to an exhausted Frank and accuses him of doing police work again. Frank lies and swears he is having an affair, but Jane does not believe him and moves out of their house. With nothing else to lose, Frank volunteers to go undercover in prison to befriend Dillon and learn the details of the bombing. Frank is put in Rocco's cell under the name Nick "The Slasher" McGurk. He wins Rocco's trust after protecting their escape plan from a guard and causing a riot. Rocco and Frank escape through a tunnel in their cell and are picked up on the outside by Rocco's mother Muriel. At Rocco's hideout, Frank attempts to get information on the bombing out of Rocco and his mother, but they are suspicious of him and refuse to share details. Meanwhile, Jane and her friend Louise are on a road trip together when Jane finds the handkerchief with Tanya's address on it. Believing Frank was being truthful about the affair, Jane decides to drive cross-country to the address to find Frank. When she arrives, Frank answers the door and must quickly cover for her; he convinces the Dillons that Jane is a random stranger but that they should keep her as a hostage. Rocco finally reveals his plan to Frank: he will attack the Academy Award ceremony with a bomb hidden in the Best Picture envelope. At the Awards, Frank traps Muriel in the car and sneaks in with Jane to search for the bomb. Frank and Jane frantically search for the bomb, with Frank inflicting his usual chaos on stage during the show. Frank encounters Tanya backstage, and she attempts to seduce Frank, but reveals she has a penis, causing Frank to feel sick and flee. Frank bursts onto the stage and tries to stop the detonation of the bomb, but ends up in a stalemate with Rocco and drops an electronic sign which takes out Muriel. Rocco decides to detonate the bomb and die with his mother, but Frank launches Rocco and the bomb into the catwalks above the stage. Frank snares Rocco with a cable and slings him through the arena's roof. Rocco crashes into Pahpshmir's helicopter hovering overhead and the bomb explodes, killing them both. Frank and Jane reaffirm their love to the applause of the audience and viewers worldwide. Nine months later, Frank and Nordberg rush into a delivery room to witness the birth of Frank's child. They run into the wrong room and Frank is shown a baby with brown skin, causing him to angrily chase Nordberg. Ed comes out of another room with Jane, who is holding their real baby.

Doug Kinney works in construction in Los Angeles, and his job constantly gets in the way of his family. Working on a new wing of a scientific facility, Doug meets Dr. Leeds, a scientist who developed a method for cloning humans. He is introduced to Dr. Leeds' clone as proof. Sympathetic to Doug's troubles, Dr. Leeds clones him, so the clone can take over for Doug at work, while the original tries to spend time with his family. "Two", a clone who calls himself "Lance", has all of Doug's memories and knowledge, but is also an exaggeration of Doug's masculine side. Doug tries to keep his clone a secret. While he and his wife Laura are at a restaurant for dinner, he sees Two on his own date. Doug begins to worry about his clone being revealed. Despite the complications of having a clone, Lance is extremely busy at work, so Doug has another made to help out at home. "Three", who calls himself "Rico", is an exaggeration of Doug's feminine side. He is sensitive and thoughtful and loves to cook and take care of the house, much to Lance's chagrin. Lance and Rico attempt to make another clone, "Four", who is later named Lenny. Since he is a clone-of-a-clone (and a copy of a copy may not be as 'sharp' as the original), his intelligence is lower than that of his predecessors, yet Lenny represents an exaggeration of Doug's immature side, and he refers to Doug as "Steve". Annoyed, Doug decrees that no more clones be created. Doug decides to take some time off, going on a sailing trip. He does not want Laura to know, so he has his clones step in for him while he is away. Although he instructs them that Laura is off limits, while he is gone each of the clones run into Laura. Despite their best efforts to follow instructions, she persists and eventually has sex with all three of them, thinking they are Doug. The next day, Lance has a cold and cannot go to work, so he sends Rico. During an inspection on site, Rico's ignorance about the current construction site annoys the inspector, which leads to Doug losing his job. Laura becomes increasingly upset with her husband's erratic behavior and how he has no memories of discussions she unwittingly had with another clone. Thinking Doug is ignoring her, she reveals her feelings to Lenny, mentioning how Doug has never kept his promise to fix up the house. When she asks him what he wants, an inattentive Lenny replies, "I want pizza". Upset, she takes the children and moves back to her parents' home. After finding out everything that has happened while he was away, Doug tries to determine how to get Laura back. Lenny tells him that Laura said he never fixed the house. With the help of the clones, Doug remodels their home and wins back Laura's love. He also tells her he is planning to start his own contracting business. Realizing Doug can take care of himself now, the clones move away. As they are driving away, Laura sees them in the car next to her. Believing that she is hallucinating, Laura tells her children that you can tell you really love someone when everyone you see reminds you of them. The clones write to Doug that they have set up a successful pizzeria called "Three Guys from Nowhere" in Miami, Florida, and masquerade as triplets. Lance becomes the businessman of the shop and serves customers, enjoying this opportunity to meet women. Rico is the head chef and is "cooking up a storm and having a ball", and Lenny is both the delivery boy and a paperboy. But because of his limited intellect, he confuses the two jobs, and the movie ends with him delivering a pizza by throwing it, newspaper-style.

In New York City, cockroaches are spreading the "Strickler's disease" that is killing hundreds of the city's children. Unable to develop a cure for the disease, Dr. Peter Mann, deputy director of the CDC, recruits entomologist Dr. Susan Tyler. Dr. Tyler uses genetic engineering to create the " Judas breed", a hybrid between a mantis and a termite that releases an enzyme which accelerates the roaches' metabolism. The roaches burn calories faster than they can nourish themselves and thus starve to death; this eradicates the disease-carrying insects. Peter and Susan later marry. Three years later, a priest is chased and dragged underground by an assailant. The only witness is Chuy, a boy who refers to the attacker as "Mr. Funny Shoes" to his skeptical guardian, an immigrant subway shoe shiner named Manny. Later, two kids sell a "weird bug" from the subway to Susan, on which she performs tests, and realizes it is similar to the Judas breed. Initially, she believes that this is impossible since the specimens she released were all female and designed with a lifespan of only six months, which should have ensured that the breed would die off after a single generation. Before she can examine the insect further it is stolen by a figure who escapes out the window. After informing the police, she consults with her mentor, Dr. Gates, who autopsies a larger specimen found in the city's sewage treatment plants, and finds that its organs are fully formed, meaning the Judas breed is not only alive but has developed into a viable species, with a colony underneath the city. Looking for more specimens, the kids go down the tracks where they find an egg sac and are then killed by the same assailant. Meanwhile, Chuy enters the abandoned church of the dead priest to find "Mr. Funny Shoes" and is abducted. Peter, his assistant Josh Maslow and MTA officer Leonard Norton enter the maintenance tunnels to investigate. However, Peter and Leonard get stuck and send Josh for help. Susan encounters a shadowy creature in a trench coat on a train platform. She approaches the figure, which unfolds into an insect the size of a human being. The creature abducts Susan and carries her into the tunnels. Meanwhile, Josh almost finds a way out but is found by a Judas and killed. Manny also enters the tunnels in search of Chuy and comes across Susan, whom he rescues along with Peter and Leonard, and they barricade themselves inside a train car. Susan surmises that the Judas breed's accelerated metabolism has allowed them to reproduce at an accelerated rate, causing them to evolve over tens of thousands of generations within only three years, developing lungs, allowing increased size, and the ability to mimic their human prey. The group formulates a plan to get the car moving: using the remains of a dead bug to mask their scent as they work, Peter will switch the power on, and Manny will switch the tracks. Susan projects that the Judas will spread throughout the tunnels and overrun the city unless they manage to kill the colony's single fertile male. While trying to reach the track switches, Manny finds Chuy who has survived due to his imitating the clicking noises the bugs use for communication. However, before they can escape Manny is killed by the male Judas. Susan, realizing Manny has been gone too long, goes in search of him but finds only Chuy. Leonard's injured leg starts bleeding heavily and knowing the smell will incite the creatures and endanger the group, he creates a diversion that allows the others to get away, before being killed. Peter finds a dumbwaiter and puts Susan and Chuy in it, but stays behind to destroy the breed for good. He is chased into a room where hundreds are nesting and blows them all up by setting fire to a loose gas pipe, before diving underwater to safety. The male Judas escapes the blast and goes after Chuy but is distracted by Susan, who lures it into the path of an oncoming train, which runs over it. The two make it to the surface, with Susan assuming that Peter had died in the blast. She then sees what appears to be another Judas, only for it to be revealed to actually be Peter alive and well. The three then reunite and embrace one another.