In the small town of West Canaan, Texas, Jonathan "Mox" Moxon is an academically gifted backup quarterback for the 3A high school Varsity football team, the West Canaan Coyotes. Despite his relative popularity at school, easy friendships with other players, and a relationship with girlfriend Jules Harbor, Mox is dissatisfied with his life. Wanting to leave Texas and attend Brown University, he constantly clashes with his football-obsessed father, Sam. He dreads playing under legendary coach Bud Kilmer, a verbally abusive and domineering authoritarian who believes in winning at all costs. Kilmer's philosophy finally takes its toll when he pushes the Coyotes' star quarterback, Lance Harbor, Mox's best friend and Jules' older brother, into taking painkilling shots into an injured knee. This leads to Lance injuring the knee further during a game, partly because Kilmer had forced offensive lineman Billy Bob to continue playing despite a concussion. At the hospital, the doctors, appalled at the massive amount of scar tissue found under his knee, explain that recovery will take at least a year and a half, costing Lance his football scholarship to Florida State. Mox, who has accompanied Lance, is shocked when Kilmer denies his role in Lance's injury, even though he ordered the trainer to provide the painkillers. Needing a new quarterback, Kilmer reluctantly names Mox to replace Lance as team captain and starting quarterback, which brings unexpected dividends for Mox. Wanting to marry someone leaving West Canaan to escape small-town life, Darcy Sears, Lance's cheerleader girlfriend, shows sexual interest in Mox and even attempts to seduce him with a whipped cream " bikini " over her otherwise naked body, but he gently rebuffs her, telling her that she can independently escape West Canaan. Disgusted with Kilmer and not strongly needing to win, Mox starts calling his own plays on the field without Kilmer's approval and also organizes an all night drinking party with his close friends on the team at a local strip club the night before a game. Fed up with the pressure from Sam, Mox chides him. Sam had been a football player at West Canaan, and although Kilmer dismissed him for lacking talent and courage, Sam still respected and obeyed him. When Kilmer discovers that Mox has won a full academic scholarship to Brown, he threatens to alter Mox's transcripts to endanger his scholarship unless he falls in line. Kilmer's disregard for the players continues, leading to Billy Bob's dramatic mental collapse. When star running back Wendell Brown, another friend of Mox's, is injured in the district title game, Kilmer persuades him to take a shot of cortisone to deaden the pain in his knee, allowing Wendell to continue at risk of more serious, and perhaps even permanent, injury. Desperate to be recruited by a good college, Wendell almost consents when Mox intervenes and tells Kilmer he will quit if the procedure continues. Undaunted, Kilmer orders wide receiver Charlie Tweeder, a friend of both Mox and Wendell, to replace Mox, but Tweeder refuses. Mox tells Kilmer that the team will only return to the field without him. Realizing that he will be forced to forfeit the game, an angered Kilmer physically assaults Mox, but the other players intercede and then refuse to take to the field. Knowing his outburst has cost him his credibility, Kilmer tries unsuccessfully to rally support and spark the team's trust in him, but none of the players follow him out of the locker room. Kilmer retreats alone to his office in defeat, abandoning the team to their fate. Using a five-receiver offense in the second half, the Coyotes proceed to win the game and the district championship without Kilmer's guidance, owing to Lance calling the plays from the sideline, and Billy Bob scoring the game-winning touchdown on a hook-and-ladder play. In a voice-over epilogue, Mox recounts several characters' aftermaths: Kilmer left town and never coached again, but his statue remained due to its weight; after the game, Tweeder drank beer and Billy Bob cried in celebration; Lance became a successful football coach, Wendell received a football scholarship to Grambling State University, and Mox went on to attend Brown on an academic scholarship.

In 19th century Europe, nobleman Kurt Menliff returns to his family's seaside castle after many years of absence in order to supposedly congratulate his younger brother Christian for marrying his former lover Nevenka. However, those at the castle know that Kurt is a sadist and are unhappy with his presence, especially his father Count Menliff and housemaid Giorgia, the latter of whom blames Kurt for the suicide of her daughter Tania, with whom Kurt had an affair before abruptly abandoning her. Nevertheless, they decide to let Kurt stay at the castle overnight. The next day, Kurt finds Nevenka sitting by herself on the beach. After seducing her, they kiss, but Nevenka suddenly backs away in a panic and strikes Kurt with a riding crop. In response, Kurt takes the crop and whips her on the back several times, to which Nevenka apparently reacts with sexual excitement as she and Kurt make love immediately afterwards. In the evening, after Nevenka fails to return to the castle, Christian sets out to look for her alongside butler Losat and Kurt's cousin Katia, who is secretly in love with Christian. Meanwhile, an unseen figure stabs Kurt in the throat with the dagger that Tania used to kill herself. Losat finds Nevenka lying unconscious on the beach, and he and the others take her back to the castle and put her to bed before discovering Kurt's body. After Kurt's funeral, the relationships between Nevenka, Christian and Count Meniff begin to fall apart, as Christian suspects his father of having killed Kurt, and Nevenka overhears Christian declaring his love for Katia. Nevenka also begins seeing Kurt in numerous ghostly visions, including one in which he whips her several times in her bedroom, leaving welts all over her body. Eventually, Count Menliff is found dead in his bedroom, having been killed in the exact same way as Kurt. As the castle occupants start to suspect each other of killing the Count, Nevenka suddenly disappears from the castle and is found in the family crypt in an apparent state of ecstasy, claiming that Kurt carried her to the crypt and whipped her. As Christian, Katia and Losat also start having supposed visions of Kurt, Christian comes to believe Nevenka's claims that Kurt's ghost is the one behind the Count's murder, so he and Losat decide to unearth and cremate Kurt's body in an effort to bring an end to the hauntings. While burning the body, Christian and Losat hear a sinister laugh and spot a figure in a cloak spying on them. Christian chases after the figure, who is revealed to be a crazed Nevenka, who attempts to stab Christian with the dagger before fleeing back into the crypt. There, she has another vision of Kurt, and attempts to stab him, but inadvertedly stabs herself, much to Christian's dismay. Before dying, she reveals to Christian that she has "killed again, this time for good." Losat and Christian determine that Nevenka had gone insane or was perhaps possessed after murdering Kurt, leading her to kill the Count and stage the various "hauntings". Meanwhile, as Kurt's body continues to burn, a riding crop placed in his coffin appears to move by itself.

Nerdy social outcast students Gary Wallace and Wyatt Donnelly of Shermer High School are humiliated by senior jocks Ian and Max for swooning over their cheerleader girlfriends Deb and Hilly. Humiliated and disappointed at their direction in life and wanting more, Gary convinces the uptight Wyatt that they need a boost in popularity in order to win their crushes away from Ian and Max. Alone for the weekend with Wyatt's parents gone, Gary is inspired by the 1931 film Frankenstein to create a virtual woman using Wyatt's computer, infusing her with everything they can conceive of to make the perfect dream woman. After they hook electrodes to a doll and hack into a government computer system for more power, a power surge creates Lisa, a beautiful and intelligent woman with reality-altering powers. She promptly produces a pink 1959 Cadillac Eldorado convertible to take the boys to a blues dive bar in Chicago, using her powers to procure fake IDs for them. They return home drunk, where Chet, Wyatt's mean older brother, extorts $175 from Wyatt in exchange for his silence. Lisa agrees to keep herself hidden from him, but she realizes that Gary and Wyatt, while sweet, are very uptight and need to unwind. After another humiliating experience at the mall when Max and Ian pour a slushie on Gary and Wyatt in front of a crowd, Lisa tells the bullies about a party at Wyatt's house, before driving off in a Porsche 928 she conjured for Gary. Despite Wyatt's protests, Lisa insists that the party take place. She meets Gary's parents, Al and Lucy, who are shocked and dismayed at the things she says and her frank manner, to Gary's embarrassment. After she pulls a stainless steel.44 Magnum handgun on them (later revealed to Gary to be a water pistol), she alters their memories so that Lucy forgets about the conflict; however, Al forgets altogether that they have a son. At the Donnelly house, the party has spun out of control. Gary and Wyatt take refuge in the bathroom, where they resolve to have fun despite having embarrassed themselves in front of Deb and Hilly. In Wyatt's bedroom, Ian and Max convince Gary and Wyatt to recreate the events that created Lisa, but the process fails. Lisa chides them over their misuse of the process to impress their tormentors. She also explains that they forgot to connect the doll; thus, with the bare but live electrodes resting on a magazine page showing a Pershing II medium-range ballistic missile, a real missile emerges, erupting through the floor and ceiling of the house. Meanwhile, Wyatt's grandparents arrive and confront Lisa about the party, but she places them in a frozen, catatonic state and hides them in a kitchen cupboard. Lisa realizes that the boys need a challenge to boost their confidence and has a gang of mutant bikers crash the party, causing chaos and terrorizing the guests. The bikers take Deb and Hilly hostage. Wyatt and Gary confront the bikers, which causes Deb and Hilly to fall in love with the boys. The bikers leave. The next morning, Chet returns from duck hunting to discover his home in disarray: A localized snowstorm fills his room, and a huge missile stands in the middle of the house. Lisa has the boys escort the girls home while she talks to Chet alone. Gary and Wyatt proclaim their feelings, and both girls reciprocate. Returning to the house, the boys discover Chet, now transformed into a foul, talking toad-like creature. He apologizes to Wyatt for his behavior. Upstairs, Lisa assures them that Chet will soon return to normal, and, realizing that her purpose is complete, tearfully hugs both Gary and Wyatt before de-materializing. As she leaves, the house is "magically" cleaned and everything transformed back to normal, including Chet. Wyatt's parents return home, completely unaware that anything unusual has happened. Later, Lisa turns up as the new gym teacher at Shermer High School.

Holly Berenson is the owner of a small Atlanta bakery, and Eric Messer is a promising television technical sports director for the Atlanta Hawks. Their best friends, Peter and Alison, set them up on a blind date that goes horribly wrong and results in both hating each other with a passion. As the years go by, Peter and Alison get married and have a baby girl named Sophie. They also select Holly and Eric – who teasingly tolerate each other – as the godparents. Shortly after Sophie's first birthday, Peter and Alison are killed in a car crash. Holly and Eric learn that their friends named them Sophie's joint guardians. After discovering that none of Peter and Alison's relatives are fit to take care of Sophie, the two put their differences aside and move into Sophie's home. Living together proves to be a struggle. One evening, Holly is away at an important catering job when Eric is given the opportunity to direct a big basketball game. He takes Sophie with him, but her crying distracts him, leading to him making a big mistake on the broadcast. When they get home, Eric and Holly argue, but later they make up. Holly goes on a date with Sam, Sophie's pediatrician. The date is cut short when Eric calls to tell Sam that Sophie has a high fever. When they join him at the hospital, Eric sees Holly kiss Sam. Over time, the guardians discover that raising a child is more expensive than they had expected, so Holly can no longer afford to expand her business. Eric helps by investing in her company, and they cement the new relationship by going on a date, which ends with them having sex and developing strong feelings. Their Child Protective Services caseworker Janine tells them they must make a firm commitment, either to stay together, or break up, as waffling in between would be bad for Sophie. Eric is offered his dream job with the Phoenix Suns, and does not discuss it with Holly. When Holly finds out, she tells him to take the job, accusing him of looking for a way out of raising Sophie. At Thanksgiving break, Eric returns from Phoenix for a visit, hoping to patch things up with Holly. She invites him to a dinner that she and Sam are hosting for neighbors and friends. Eric and Holly argue loudly when he learns she is planning to sell the house soon, as the upkeep is too costly. She accuses him of deserting her and Sophie, while he points out how quickly she replaced him. Eric tells her he loves her, but leaves the dinner, planning to return to Phoenix. Once alone with Holly, Sam says that if he and his former wife had fought in the way that Eric and she did, they would still be together. He tells Holly to work out her feelings for Eric, and leaves. That night, Sophie calls Holly "Mama" for the first time. Janine visits to make her final determination whether Holly and Eric are fit parents. Holly realizes that she cannot take care of Sophie without Eric, and that she loves him. She, Sophie and Janine rush to the airport, but upon reaching the gate, finds that Eric's flight has departed. Returning to the house, Holly finds Eric sitting inside. He tells her he has realized that Peter and Alison chose them to be Sophie's guardians because, together, they are a loving family. A few months later, they host Sophie's second birthday party, with all the neighbors and friends in attendance. Holly has made a second cake, with the number 1 on it, telling Eric, "It's for us, 'cause we made it a year", then they kiss.

A young and naive Englishman, John Truscott (Hugh Dancy), goes to the British protectorate of Sarawak, Borneo (described as a "colony" in the film), to try to apply his father's work to the Iban society. There he meets his boss Henry Bullard (Bob Hoskins) and his wife Aggie Bullard (Brenda Blethyn). John tries to civilize the area, building schools and providing education for the Iban people, and encounters unfamiliar local customs. A girl, Selima (Jessica Alba), becomes his "sleeping dictionary", who sleeps with him and teaches him the language and the habits of the locals. John is sent upriver where a sickness is affecting the Yakata tribe. He and Selima travel inland. John witnesses a nearby mining operation run by Europeans. He notices that the Yakata have rice – which has been given to them by the miners – and he guesses correctly that the miners have poisoned the rice in order to get rid of the Yakata. Knowing that they will exact vengeance, John tells the Yakata what has happened. The Yakata wipe out the miners. Despite their intent, John and Selima find themselves falling into a forbidden love. John is eager to marry Selima despite the longhouse not allowing it. When John tells Henry about his plans to marry her, they lock Selima up. Selima agrees to marry in the longhouse before they part ways. Bullard threatens to send John to trial for the death of the European miners. He makes a deal with John. John has to give up Selima, and go to Britain for a year's vacation and to meet the Bullards' daughter Cecilia (Emily Mortimer). Another local British official, Neville Shipperly (Noah Taylor), a boorish drunk and a man who despises the locals, is jealous of John because he had planned to win Cecilia as his own. A year later, John is seen marrying Cecilia. He still struggles to get over his past with his sleeping dictionary. With Cecilia, he decides the best thing to do is go back to Sarawak to continue his work there. In Sarawak, Cecilia notices John's desire for Selima despite constantly keeping his distance from her. Cecilia demands to know more about Selima; John replies that she is married to Belansai and that the couple have a baby together. While at the lake collecting rocks for research, John sees Selima with her baby. He believes the child to be his and asks Famous to arrange a meeting with the pair. Back at the house, Selima walks in, unaware that John is there. Here, John meets his son Mandar for the first time. When Belansai hears news that John is spending time with his wife, he sneaks in to try to kill John but only manages to hurt him with a razor. The next morning, Henry reveals to John his past about his own 'sleeping dictionary', which resulted in the birth of another child: Selima. Belansai is caught and sentenced to be hanged for trying to kill an officer. Selima is not happy, as Belansai has been a good father to Mandar. Not wanting his friend Belansai to die, John nevertheless goes through with announcing Belansai's hanging, having no other option. Later that night, Selima goes to help Belansai escape, not knowing that John is already there, breaking Belansai out and handing him a gun. As Belansai hurries off, John turns to Selima, asking to meet him at the dock so they can escape on the boat. When Selima expresses fear that he will be caught, he says "Then I'll tell them I'd rather have you than a country... or a language... or a history". They embrace as the rain is pouring behind them. The next day, since the people of the Longhouse have turned on Selima, she is forced to become the sleeping dictionary for Neville. Later Cecilia announces she is pregnant, shocking John. That night, Selima bashes Neville on the head, knocking him out, because he has attempted to attack her and force her. She grabs the baby and runs from the house, heading for the docks. John still has plans to be with Selima and their son, and, as he begins writing a note, is stopped by Cecilia. The couple then talk about John's love for Selima and how Cecilia wants John to be happy. Aggie is not happy that Cecilia and Henry have allowed both John and Selima to run away together because she never left Henry's sight, fearing he'd go with his sleeping dictionary. She encourages Neville to go after them. With the help of Famous and the Yakata, John searches for Selima as she's left believing that John didn't come to the place of arrangement. They reunite as Neville comes through with a gun. He tells them to cuff themselves around the bamboos and tells them of his plans to kill John, Selima and their baby. They're then rescued by the Yakata, who kill Neville. At the end, they decide to live together and migrate with the Yakata.

Vladimir Ivanov, a saxophonist with the Moscow circus, lives in a crowded apartment with his extended family. In the grim living conditions and lack of personal freedom in the Soviet Union, he stands in lines for hours to buy toilet paper and shoes. When Boris, the apparatchik assigned to the circus, criticizes Vladimir for being late to rehearsal, and warns him that he may miss the approaching trip to New York City, Vladimir gives Boris a pair of shoes from the queue that made Vladimir late. While Ivanov is riding in his friend Anatoly's Lada, Anatoly stops to buy fuel for his car from a mobile black-market gasoline dealer. While the friends wait for the gasoline seller to fill Anatoly's jerrycans, the two practice their English. The circus troupe is sent to perform in New York City. Anatoly, who has talked of little else but defecting, cannot bring himself to go through with it; Vladimir, who had opposed the scheme as reckless and foolhardy, suddenly decides to do it. He runs from his Soviet controllers and hides behind a perfume counter at Bloomingdale's under the skirt of the clerk, Lucia Lombardo. When the NYPD and the FBI arrive, Vladimir stands up to his controllers and defects with news cameras rolling. Vladimir is left with nothing but the clothes on his back, the money in his pocket, and a pair of blue jeans that he had planned to buy for his girlfriend in Moscow. Lionel Witherspoon, a security guard who protected Vladimir from his Soviet handlers during the defection, takes him home to Harlem to live with Lionel's mother, unemployed father, sister, and grandfather—a living arrangement noticeably similar to Vladimir's family back in Moscow. With the help of a sympathetic immigration attorney and Cuban emigrant, Orlando Ramirez, Vladimir soon adapts to life in the United States. Vladimir attempts to find work despite speaking little English and fearing the threat of his former KGB handlers. He initially works as a busboy, McDonald's cashier, sidewalk merchant and limousine driver. Although these jobs enable Vladimir to eventually move into his own apartment, he begins to doubt that he will ever play saxophone professionally again. Vladimir starts a relationship with Lucia, the Bloomingdale's clerk. At a party celebrating Lucia's becoming an American citizen (Lucia originally being an Italian citizen), Vladimir proposes to her; but she refuses and, after an argument, breaks up with him. Lionel decides to return to Alabama to be closer to his young son. More bad news comes in a letter from Vladimir's family that his grandfather has died. Grieving, Vladimir goes to a Russian nightclub to ease his mind. When he returns to his apartment building drunk, he is mugged by two youths. He reports the incident to the police with his attorney Orlando present; the two go to a diner, where Vladimir rants about his misfortunes. During a confrontation with a burly man who makes it known that he is also a Soviet defector, Vladimir comes to appreciate his good fortune of living in the United States. Soon after, Lucia reunites with Vladimir, telling him that she is not ready for marriage, but would love to live with a fellow immigrant. Lionel moves back from Alabama, and he takes over Vladimir's job driving a limousine. Vladimir encounters his former KGB handler, who is now a street vendor selling hotdogs. He admits that he had to flee the Soviet Union due to his failure to prevent Vladimir's defection, but has also come to appreciate New York City. Vladimir soon gets a job in a nightclub, where he again plays the saxophone.

Charlie MacKenzie is a popular local beat poet living in San Francisco who makes his frequent break-ups the subject of his poems. His best friend Tony, a recently promoted police detective, believes that Charlie is afraid of commitment and will identify (or invent) any reason to break up with someone. While purchasing Haggis for his Scottish-born parents, Stuart and May, he encounters a butcher named Harriet, and is attracted to her. During his visit with his family, Charlie and May discuss his most recent break-up, and May brings up a tabloid article about a bride known as "Mrs. X", who kills her husbands on their honeymoons using an axe. Charlie goes back to the butcher shop and offers to help Harriet. The two find common bonds and start to date. After staying at her place one night, Charlie meets Harriet's eccentric sister, Rose, who warns Charlie to be careful. He learns Harriet used to live in Atlantic City, was involved with a trainer in Russian martial arts, and screams for someone named Ralph in her sleep. Charlie arranges a dinner with her to meet his parents, who say she is their favourite of all his partners. Charlie reads the article about Mrs. X, which identifies two of her victims as a martial arts expert and a man named Ralph. Charlie becomes fearful and asks Tony to investigate Harriet and the Mrs. X story. Tony reveals that the husbands of Mrs. X were all reported missing alongside their wives, assuring that Harriet is unlikely to be Mrs. X. Charlie remains on edge, and after a few more troubled dates, breaks up with her. Tony reports that a killer in the Mrs. X story has confessed. Relieved, Charlie apologizes to Harriet by reciting one of his beat poems to her from her rooftop. They make up, and Harriet explains away some of her history, such as Ralph being the name of a woman she knows. At his parents' wedding anniversary Charlie proposes to Harriet. She accepts after some hesitation. Following the wedding ceremony, they embark on a honeymoon to a secluded mountain hotel. After they depart, Tony learns that the confessed killer is actually a compulsive liar. He sends a photo of Harriet to the known associates of the missing husbands, and all identify her as their friends' wife. With phone lines to the hotel down due to a storm, Tony charters a plane. Once he lands, he calls Charlie locally and warns him that Harriet really is Mrs. X, but the hotel phone line is knocked out and power is lost. Charlie panics and tries to stay away from Harriet without letting her know what he knows, but the hotel staff force him into the honeymoon suite for their first night together. After locking Harriet in the closet, Charlie discovers a letter, purportedly written by him, explaining his absence to Harriet. Rose appears wielding an axe and reveals herself as the Mrs. X killer. She feels that Harriet's husbands are taking her sister from her, motivating her to kill them on their honeymoon night and leave letters behind claiming to be from them, leading Harriet to believe that each husband abandoned her. Charlie flees from Rose. Tony leads the police into the hotel and arrests Harriet, still believing her to be the murderer. Charlie, having been chased to the hotel roof by Rose, gets Tony's attention as they take Harriet away. While the police make their way up to the roof, Rose swings the axe at Charlie and is thrown off the building. Tony catches her, and she is arrested and taken away. Charlie and Harriet resume their lives as a happy couple.

Dylan (Dan Futterman) and Jez (Stuart Townsend) are two orphans who meet in their twenties and vow to achieve their shared childhood dream of living in a stately home. In pursuit of this dream, they spend their days living in a disused gas holder, spending as little money as possible and conning the upper classes out of their riches. During one of their cons, they encounter Georgie (Kate Beckinsale) who is a medical student who can type. Georgie becomes aware that the two are con-artists. But they manage to convince her that they are modern day Robin Hoods, taking from the rich and giving to the poor. When a con goes wrong, the two find themselves jailed. They later learn that their entire fortune is to be rendered useless as the Royal Bank of England is recalling the notes. Jez and Dylan decide they need to somehow escape and retrieve their money or risk losing it. Jez contacts Georgie and appeals to her to help. Georgie, unbeknownst to the guys, needs money to save the Down syndrome foundation's mansion that her brother currently attends. She organises for Jez and Dylan to get released on compassionate leave under the guise of attending the cremation of a relative. While the ceremony is ongoing, they sneak out and retrieve the money and return before the prison warders suspect a thing. With the money hidden in the coffin they accidentally send it to be cremated and are returned to prison completely despondent. It turns out to be a double con as Georgie retrieves the money and buys her ex's "champion" horse only to learn that the horse is a dud. When the guys get out she comes clean and they hatch another plan which will see the horse win a big race allowing them to charge stud fees. Everything works out and the horse romps to victory (thanks to inserting helium in the jockeys outfit). Georgie agrees to sell the now champion horse back to her ex. With the proceeds all three agree to save the foundation and as they drive to the foundation broke, Jez and Dylan realise they have finally found their stately home.

The story begins on "the strangest day" of Larry Burrows's life (his 35th birthday) consisting of a series of comic and dramatic misadventures. Larry blames his life's problems on having struck out during a key moment of his state high school baseball championship game on his 15th birthday. When he wishes he had done things differently, his wish is granted by a guardian angel -like figure named Mike, who intermittently appears as a bartender, a cab driver, and so on. Larry soon discovers that Mike has transferred him into an alternative reality in which he had won the pivotal high school game. He finds himself still working for the company he had been originally, albeit successful and in a powerful position, and married to the boss's sexy daughter Cindy Jo Bumpers. At first, his new life seems perfect, but he soon begins to miss his best friend Clip Metzler, and his wife Ellen from his previous life; he also discovers that his alternative self has created many enemies, like Jewel Jagger who was a forklift operator and now she is his secretary and lover. The story begins with Larry's car, an old Ford LTD station wagon, stalled out in a dark alley. Suddenly the pink lights of The Universal Joint, a bar, come on. Larry goes inside to call a tow truck and tells bartender Mike his troubles. He reviews the day he just had, which ended with his getting fired after discovering his department head Niles Pender's scheme to sell the company under the nose of its owners to a group of naive Japanese investors. He tells Mike that he wishes he had hit that last pitch out of the park, after which Mike fixes him a drink called "The Spilt Milk". The Spilt Milk was a drink that gave him his wish that he hit that home run in that championship game. Larry leaves the bar, walks home (his car apparently towed), and discovers someone else living in his house, which is now fixed up (previously his yard and driveway were muddy and unfinished). Mike appears as a cab driver and drives him to his "new" home, a mansion in Forest Hills, explaining that he did in fact hit the last pitch and won the game. He soon discovers that Cindy Jo is his wife and he's the president of his company, Liberty Republic Sporting Goods. Being a classic car buff, he's shocked to find that he owns a collection of priceless antique automobiles. Larry soon discovers that Clip has a low-level job in the accounting department and is quite insecure as opposed to the joker he previously was. Ellen is a shop steward (in both realities) and is married to another man. Jewel, a forklift operator in the previous reality, is now Larry's mistress and his secretary. Ellen hates Larry, and he discovers that the union is threatening a walkout due to massive layoffs and increased production since Niles is selling Liberty Republic in both realities. Seeing Ellen, he realizes how much he misses her and agrees to all the union's demands, provided Ellen agrees to dinner at his favorite restaurant. She reluctantly agrees, and Larry eventually convinces her that they were married in a previous life. After discovering that Larry has agreed to union demands, Niles takes revenge by telling both Cindy Jo and Jewel of Larry's dinner date with Ellen. He then plots to kill Larry at the office that night. However, company owner Leo Hansen arrives to deliver a note to Larry, announcing his termination at Cindy Jo's request, and Niles kills him by mistake. Discovering the note, Niles calls the police, who attempt to arrest Larry for Leo's murder. Larry escapes while jealous Jewel creates pandemonium outside in her attempts to shoot him (and shoots out several police cars in the process), leading to a police chase. Larry is eventually cornered in a dark alley, but the pink glow of "The Universal Joint" comes on and he runs into the bar. Unable to find Mike, Larry attempts to make the "Spilt Milk" himself, the ingredients clearly aged. What appears to be flashing police car lights appear and Larry surrenders. However, it is a tow truck driven by Duncan. Confused at first, Larry sees Mike back behind the bar and realizes he has been returned to his old life. Larry thanks Mike for everything and, upon exiting the bar, suddenly realizes that the deal with the Japanese investors is happening shortly. Driven by Duncan to company headquarters, Larry barges into the boardroom, decks Niles, and exposes his scheme just as Leo is about to sign the deal. Thinking everyone forgot his birthday, Larry returns home (which still has the muddy driveway and lawn) to a surprise party with his family and friends. Soon after, Cindy Jo and her husband Jackie Earle, the company president, arrive. Jackie offers Niles' job to Larry, plus a company car which is a new Mercedes, and Larry accepts. In the past, young Larry is about to leave the stadium, still upset about the loss, when he is greeted by a mysterious stranger in the stands (Mike) who reassures him that everything will be all right. Larry thanks him for the reassurance but walks off wondering who Mike thinks he is kidding.

At the royal palace in Karlsburg, King Ferdinand counsels his grandson, Prince Karl Franz, on the young man's imminent engagement to the wealthy Princess Johanna of Nordhausen. The king observes that although their country is poor, it has always survived because the men of the royal family marry well. The following evening, Johanna is feted with a ball, but she finds the prince's cold, formal manner off-putting. The king and Johanna's mother, Queen Mathilda, discuss the shaky prospects for an alliance between their heirs, and Mathilda says that Karl must learn to radiate warmth and charm. Karl's teacher, Prof. Juttner, is summoned to the palace in the middle of the night and ordered to instruct the prince in the graces of living. Juttner maintains that such an education comes from being with other people, and recommends that Karl be sent to his own alma mater, the University of Heidelberg. Karl is dispatched to Heidelberg the next day, along with Juttner and the punctilious royal valet, Lutz. They take rooms in an inn owned by Joseph Ruder, and Karl is immediately charmed by Ruder's pretty niece Kathie. When Karl impulsively kisses Kathie, however, she angrily rebuffs him. Classes begin, and the haughty prince bristles at being treated like all the other students. After chastening comments from Juttner and Kathie, however, Karl resolves to adapt to student life, and quickly finds that he enjoys it. On Kathie's recommendation, he joins the Westphalians, a student corps made up of good-natured commoners, and learns to consume prodigious amounts of beer. When Karl again attempts to kiss Kathie one evening, she knocks him down, as Lutz watches, aghast. Lutz orders Ruder to send Kathie away, threatening dire consequences if the incident is reported. The distraught Ruder goes to Kathie's room and finds her already packing, and tells her where to find a job in a nearby town. The following evening, the students protest Kathie's absence, and Ruder confides to Karl the name of the restaurant where Kathie now works. Karl goes to apologize, and when he causes Kathie to break some plates, she loses her job. Karl humbly beseeches Kathie to return to Heidelberg and declares his feelings for her. Now in love, Karl and Kathie return to Ruder's inn. One night, Karl is drinking and singing with the Westphalians when his true identity is accidentally revealed to the imperious Count Von Asterburg, head of the elitist Saxo-Borussian corps. Von Asterburg insists that the prince join their corps, and when Karl refuses to leave his Westphalian friends, challenges him to a duel. Karl defeats Von Asterburg in a sword fight, and the two men shake hands as friends, but Kathie is appalled. The lovers make up, and one night, at a carnival, Karl asks Kathie to go away with him. Before they can leave, however, Prime Minister Von Mark arrives from Karlsburg with the news that the king is ill and wishes to see Karl. After promising Kathie he will return, Karl returns to the palace. The king announces that Karl's marriage to Johanna will take place shortly, and when Karl protests that he is in love with Kathie, the king reminds him of his duty. Karl accuses Von Mark of having tricked him into returning, but the prime minister replies that the king is actually much sicker than he realizes. The king passes away, and preparations are made for Karl's marriage. While traveling to Nordhausen for the wedding, Karl suddenly orders the train to stop in Heidelberg. Karl goes to Ruder's inn, where he and Kathie lovingly say goodbye.

Jon Martello is a young Italian-American bartender and a modern-day Don Juan living in New Jersey. He enjoys his independent lifestyle, which consists of working out, maintaining his apartment, driving his 1972 Chevrolet Chevelle SS, going to church with his family, engaging in casual sex, and excessively masturbating to hardcore pornography. Though he claims to enjoy sex, he finds it inferior to porn and even finds his daily life interrupted by flashbacks of watching porn. While at a nightclub with his friends, Jon meets Barbara Sugarman, a beautiful woman from an affluent background. Despite flirting, she declines his offer for a one-night stand. Jon becomes interested in her, hoping that sex with her will be more satisfying than his usual hookups, and asks her out after finding her on Facebook. Barbara insists on a more serious relationship, which proceeds for over a month and without sex. She pushes Jon to take an evening community college class to obtain a career outside the service industry, and he indulges her love of romance films, which he dismisses as fantasy. They meet each other's friends and families, and Jon's parents are immediately smitten by her and hope the two will marry. Jon and Barbara finally have sex, but he is still dissatisfied. She catches him watching porn and is disgusted, but he convinces her it was a joke email sent by a friend. As she spends more time at his home, he resorts to watching porn on his cell phone. He takes great satisfaction in cleaning his apartment, but Barbara considers it beneath him and insists he have her family's maid do it. At his class, Jon catches his middle-aged classmate Esther crying alone; when she sits next to him to explain herself, she sees porn on his phone. She later shocks him by showing him an erotic video which she believes depicts sex in a healthier way. Barbara discovers the porn in Jon's laptop browser history, causing a fight; he insists that all men watch porn, but she breaks up with him. Jon watches an increased amount of porn and becomes emotionally withdrawn and erratic, which leads to an incident of road rage. His friend persuades him to finish his college class, where he sees Esther again. After class, he has sex with Esther in her car and discusses his breakup with her. She asks him why he loves porn, and he reveals that he gets "lost" in porn in a way he does not with a partner, and has been consuming porn since he was a child. He insists he is not addicted to porn, and Esther suggests masturbating without it for a week, which he discovers he cannot do. Esther says porn has given him a skewed idea of what real sex is, and he does not intimately connect with his partners because he focuses merely on his own satisfaction. After suggesting they take a bath together at her home, Esther starts crying and does not join him, revealing that her husband and son died in a car crash 14 months prior. Their emotional connection deepens their intimacy, and Jon experiences truly satisfying sex for the first time. Jon later tells his priest that he has stopped watching porn, and though he had premarital sex with Esther, it felt special and unlike his previous connections; he is disillusioned when the priest does not acknowledge his substantial improvement. He finally tells his family about his breakup with Barbara. While his parents are upset, his sister Monica bluntly tells them that Barbara clearly only wanted to date someone she could control. Jon meets with Barbara and apologizes for lying to her, but asserts that her expectations were demanding of him and unattainable. She insists that a man should make any sacrifice for a woman he loves and tells Jon not to call her again. With neither of them interested in conventional love or marriage, Jon and Esther begin dating and "lose" themselves while being intimate.

In 2035, society's dreams are taxed by the government, which has mandated increased surveillance measures upon the general public. Dream Auditor James Preble travels to the countryside home of the elderly Arabella Isadora, an artist who lives alone with her pet tortoise Sugar Baby in the self-titled Strawberry Mansion. Arabella's dreams are stored on a vast library of VHS tapes, which Preble reviews to conduct an audit; at Bella's insistence, he stays in her guest room. In his dreams, he regularly spends his time in a pink room with Buddy, who presents him with commercial products; one such session is interrupted by a younger apparition of Bella. During his audit, Preble begins to fall in love with the younger Bella; he grows closer to her in the real world, and she reveals that the government allows advertisers to transmit ads to a person's dreams. She presents him with homemade headgear designed to hold them off; it successfully defends against Buddy. Sometime later, she dies peacefully and is discovered by Preble. Bella's estranged son Peter Bloom arrives with his wife, Martha, and son, Brian, to handle Bella's affairs. Peter suggests to Preble that he is finished with his audit and may now leave. A suspicious Preble discovers Martha and Brian destroying the VHS tapes mid-audit and declares it a federal offense, angrily informing Peter that he will have to notify his superiors; Peter responds by later knocking him unconscious with a bowling pin. Preble vividly dreams of himself being chased around the house by exaggerated incarnations of the Blooms before he is rescued by the younger Bella. They escape to a small island, where they sustain and entertain themselves for a long time. Eventually, Bella reveals that Peter is the CEO of the country's largest advertisement corporation and that his knowledge of the dream-infiltrating advertisement scheme has placed him in danger. Various incarnations of Buddy appear and Preble wakes up; Peter knocks him out a second time and sets the room on fire; he and the family leave Preble to die. Preble reawakens in his dream as the captain of a ship, helmed by two humanoid sailor rats, Richard and Marcus Rat. For the next seven years, they sail the seas in search of Bella, but the Rats eventually begin to question the mission's viability. As the fire in his room picks up, a giant Blue Demon attacks the ship at sea. Preble's surroundings dissolve around him and he dines with the normal-sized Blue Demon, who is keeping Bella in servitude. After the Demon goes to bed, Preble frees Bella and they escape back to the island. Bella warns him that he cannot stay with her for much longer, as he will soon die from the fire if he does not wake up. At her insistence, Preble turns into a caterpillar and spends the next several centuries traversing the earth, finally arriving at his pink room. He is confronted by a wrathful Buddy, but Bella arrives to help Preble overpower and ultimately vanquish him. Preble and Bella are bid farewell by a sendoff party of all of the dream's characters; an apparition of Peter warmly greets and apologizes to both of them. They float off into space but find themselves disintegrating as Preble's mind continues to feel the fire's heat. Preble awakens and escapes the house, but reenters to retrieve the headgear, Sugar Baby, and a tape. Preble sorrowfully watches Strawberry Mansion burn down. Upon returning home, Preble reminisces on the VHS tape, the contained dream of which shows Bella on a date with a mysterious grass man; Bella eventually brushes off the grass to reveal Preble underneath. The film ends with the two of them walking hand-in-hand to Strawberry Mansion.