Harris K. Telemacher is a television weatherman living in Los Angeles. He is in a dead-end relationship with his social-climbing girlfriend Trudi and feels his job requires him to be undignified and unintellectual, though he holds a Ph.D. in arts and humanities. He wants to find meaning and magic in his life, having grown increasingly weary of what he sees as the rather shallow and superficial city of L.A., from overly pretentious coffee orders to bizarre shooting etiquette rules on the freeway. Furthermore, he spends his time roller-skating through art galleries with his friend Ariel, offering eccentric art reviews to acquaintances, remixing Shakespeare a lot, and otherwise seeking to escape his ordinary life. At a luncheon with friends, Harris meets Sara, a journalist from London, with whom he immediately becomes infatuated. Driving home that night, his car breaks down on the freeway. He notices that a freeway traffic condition sign seems to be displaying messages intended solely for him. It offers him cryptic advice on his love life throughout the movie. Harris begins to fall for Sara, but she is conflicted because she has pledged to reconcile with her ex-husband, Roland. Feeling that a relationship with Sara is unlikely, Harris begins dating SanDeE*, a ditzy aspiring spokesmodel, whom he meets at a clothing store. After his first date with her, Harris discovers Trudi has been cheating on him (with his agent) for three years. This leads him to pursue his romantic interest in Sara, which is complicated by his new relationship with SanDeE* and by Sara's feeling of obligation to Roland. As the movie concludes, Harris has successfully wooed Sara – with encouragement and advice from the freeway sign.

One Thursday morning, Arthur Dent discovers that his house is to be immediately demolished to make way for a bypass. He tries delaying the bulldozers by lying down in front of them; however, Arthur's friend Ford Prefect convinces him to go to the nearby pub. While there, Ford explains that he is an alien from the vicinity of Betelgeuse, and a journalist working on the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a universal guide book. Ford warns that the Earth is to be demolished later that day by the extraterrestrial Vogons to make way for a hyperspace bypass. As the Vogon fleet arrives, Ford rescues Arthur by stowing them aboard one of the alien ships. The Earth is then destroyed. Arthur and Ford are promptly discovered and tortured with Vogon poetry before being ejected from the vessel and left for dead. However, they are picked up by the starship Heart of Gold, aboard which they meet Ford's "semi-cousin" Zaphod Beeblebrox, the newly elected President of the Galaxy. He has stolen the ship along with Tricia "Trillian" McMillan, an Earth woman whom Arthur had met previously, and Marvin, a clinically depressed android. Zaphod seeks the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything to match the disappointing answer once given by the ancient supercomputer Deep Thought: " 42 ". He believes the answer lies on the planet Magrathea, which is only accessible through trial and error using the Heart of Gold ' s improbability drives. During one attempt, the ship arrives at Viltvodle VI, where Zaphod's opponent, Humma Kavula, resides. Kavula offers the coordinates for Magrathea in exchange for Zaphod recovering the Point-of-View gun, a weapon created by Deep Thought that enables the target to temporarily empathize with the shooter. Believing she is responsible for Zaphod's kidnapping, the Vogons abduct Trillian. Arthur spearheads a rescue mission with the others, journeying to the Vogon homeworld, Vogsphere. Before her rescue, Trillian learns that Zaphod personally signed the order for Earth's destruction, mistakenly assuming he was giving a fan his autograph. The group escapes Vogsphere with Galactic Vice-president Questular Rontok and the Vogons in pursuit. The Heart of Gold arrives in Magrathea's orbit, triggering the planet's missile defense systems. Before they can strike, Arthur re-activates the improbability drive, which transforms the missiles into a bowl of petunias and a whale, allowing the Heart of Gold to land safely. Zaphod, Ford, and Trillian enter a portal leading to Deep Thought; however, Arthur and Marvin are stranded outside. Zaphod's party learns from Deep Thought that, after coming up with the Answer "42", Deep Thought's creators had it design another computer to come up with the Question: Earth. The group recovers the Point-of-View gun, and Trillian uses it on Zaphod to show him her resentment for his accidental destruction of the Earth. They are then captured by unknown entities. Meanwhile, on Magrathea, Arthur is met by Slartibartfast, a planet builder. Slartibartfast takes Arthur to a pocket dimension, where he shows that a new version of Earth is near completion. Slartibartfast takes Arthur to his recreated home. Inside, the others are enjoying a feast provided by the mice: hyper-intelligent, pan-dimensional beings who created Deep Thought and commissioned the original Earth. With Arthur, who was on Earth up until its last minutes, the mice surmise that they can discover the Question by removing his brain. Arthur manages to escape and crush the mice under a teapot. Questular and the Vogons arrive outside the home and open fire; during the barrage, Marvin is shot. While Arthur and his companions take cover, Marvin reboots and uses the Point-of-View gun to force the Vogons into a crippling state of depression. The Vogons are taken away, and Zaphod reunites with Questular. Arthur decides to explore the galaxy with Ford and Trillian, allowing Slartibartfast to finalize the new Earth without him. The Heart of Gold crew decides to visit the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Initially narrated by the titular character through a flashback, Grendel (Peter Ustinov), the "Great Boogey", recounts how he first left his cave as a child and encountered the Danish King Hrothgar (Ed Rosser) and his thegns. After being rescued by his mother, Grendel ponders over the similarities he shares with the Danes, yet laments on their not being able to understand his language. He watches as Hrothgar's power and wealth grows, disgusted at his excesses and the royal Shaper 's (Keith Michell) revisions of history that present the king's underhanded and brutal achievements as glorious victories. Desperate to find meaning in life, Grendel encounters the dragon (Arthur Dignam), who informs Grendel that his sole purpose in life is to terrify humanity, thus stimulating human imagination and encouraging social cohesion. Grendel accepts his new role and regularly visits the king's mead hall to frighten Hrothgar's people and devour them. He stops short of killing the king himself and the warrior Unferth (Ric Stone), whose delusions of grandeur and passive opposition to the king amuse Grendel. Feeling sympathy for Hrothgar's miserable wife Wealhtheow, who is also the object of Unferth's secret affection, Grendel decides to finally kill Hrothgar and take her to his lair. Before Grendel can arrive, the meadhall is visited by the hero Beowulf (also voiced by Dignam), who kills Unferth on the increasingly paranoid Hrothgar's orders. Beowulf then ambushes Grendel and tears off his arm, leaving the monster to die outside, pondering over the accidental nature of his death.

Charming and attractive Alex, his sister Mélanie and her husband Marc operate a unique business for concerned third-party clients—breaking up relationships, but only those in which the woman is "unhappy without realising it", often at the request of a family member or close friend. The trio concoct elaborate, custom and sometimes expensive ruses to deceive the women. After each woman has fallen for his act, Alex tells her she has made him come alive again, but that it is too late for him. The women presumably leave their relationships to seek men who make them feel the way Alex has. They are hired by a wealthy man, who is a florist and gangster, to prevent the upcoming wedding of his daughter Juliette to Jonathan, a wealthy Englishman of whom he disapproves. However, they only have ten days to do so before the wedding. After the trio conduct an extensive research, it becomes apparent that the couple are truly in love and absolutely perfect for each other, further complicating the task. They also could not find the usual "flaws" in the couple that they use to cause break-ups. Alex initially turns down the job, but massively in debt to a loan shark through his own lavish spending on the business, he is pressured into putting aside his honourable principles to complete the seemingly impossible task with only five days until the wedding. When Juliette flies to Monte Carlo to prepare for the wedding, Alex poses as her bodyguard in order to gain close and constant access to her, with the trio bugging her hotel room and checking into the adjoining room. While on the job, Alex discovers things that Juliette likes and pretends to like these things as well to impress her, including the film Dirty Dancing, Roquefort cheese and the music of George Michael. The two eventually develop feelings for each other, but the early arrival of Jonathan disrupts Alex's access to Juliette. The night before the wedding, Juliette is restless, so she and Alex sneak out and have a fun night out, including recreating the final dance scene from Dirty Dancing. Early the next morning, Juliette confesses her feelings for him. Alex begins his usual script, but realising he cannot be with her after how he has deceived her, abruptly changes it and says she should get married. The next day, as the group leave the hotel, Marc inadvertently drops Juliette's case file in front of her. Seeing the surveillance photos and her background information, she realises her father has hired Alex to try to stop the wedding. At the airport, Mélanie, after carefully observing the events of the past few days, chides Alex for walking away from real love to return to an empty life of fake, short-lived affairs. He runs towards the wedding from the airport. Meanwhile, Juliette's father tells her that while Jonathan is a decent man, she will be bored with him. As they are walking down the aisle, he tells her that Alex refused to take any payment for the contract. Before reaching the end of the aisle, Juliette turns around and flees the ceremony to find Alex. The two reunite and kiss after Alex confesses that he hates Roquefort and George Michael and had never seen Dirty Dancing, is broke and sleeps in his office, but he needs to see her every day. Back at the "non-wedding", it is revealed that the loan shark to whom Alex owes money actually works for Juliette's father, while Juliette's scheming friend Sophie flirts with Jonathan. Later, Mélanie and Marc alone attempt another ruse, but Marc lacks Alex's charm to pull it off successfully.

In the early 19th century, a lawyer tells a group of boys that a tontine has been organised; £1,000 has been invested for each child (£20,000 in total), but only the last survivor will receive all the capital and interest. Sixty-three years later, the last survivors are elderly brothers Masterman and Joseph Finsbury, who live next to each other in Victorian London. Although Masterman has not talked to his despised brother in years, he sends his medical student grandson Michael Finsbury to summon Joseph to see him. Michael is greeted by Joseph's niece Julia, who says Joseph is in Bournemouth with her cousins. Julia's cousins, Morris and John, receive a telegram from Michael saying that Masterman is dying. On the train to London, Joseph escapes his grandson minders, entering a compartment and boring the occupant with a diatribe of trivia. Joseph goes to smoke a cigarette, leaving his coat, which the occupant, "the Bournemouth Strangler", dons. The train collides with another train. Finding a mangled body in their uncle's coat, Morris and John assume their uncle is dead. To protect their interest in the tontine, they hide the body in the woods. Morris tells John to post the body in a crate to London. Joseph wanders away from the accident scene. In London, Michael gets a telegram telling him to expect a statue in a crate. Morris arrives and mistakes the elderly butler, Peacock, for Masterman. Morris decides to hide the body until Masterman dies, then claim Joseph died of a heart attack upon hearing the news. Morris and John plot to ship the body in a barrel to Joseph's home where Julia lives. Joseph makes his own way to London and visits his brother. Masterman makes several attempts to kill his oblivious brother. They quarrel, and as Joseph leaves the barrel is being delivered to Masterman's house by mistake. Joseph signs for the barrel for "Mr Finsbury". Minutes later, the crate containing the statue is mistakenly delivered to Joseph's house and accepted by Julia. Morris sees a delivery wagon leaving and assumes his uncle's body has been delivered. He goes to obtain a blank death certificate from Dr. Pratt. Michael helps move the crate into Joseph's house. Julia and Michael kiss for the first time. Michael says they cannot do this as they are cousins; then they discover they were both adopted, thus unrelated by blood. Michael discovers the body in the barrel and assumes his grandfather killed his brother. When Julia arrives, Michael hides the body in a piano. That night, Michael hires "undertakers" to dump the corpse in the River Thames. When they arrive, Masterman has just fallen down stairs, so they take his unconscious body. Seeing this, Morris assumes Masterman has died. Morris and John go to claim the tontine with the fake death certificate. The lawyer tells them it is now worth £111,000. Masterman is returned home by the Salvation Army, who assume he has drowned. Julia orders a fancy coffin for him. Morris orders a cheap coffin to remove the mutilated body, but it is delivered to the wrong house, and Michael sells the piano, unaware the body is still in it. The police become involved when that body is discovered. Masterman sits up as the coffin is being taken away. The cousins make off with the tontine money in a hearse. Michael and Julia chase Morris and John aboard another hearse. They then encounter a real funeral procession. After a crash, Morris and John realise they have a body instead of the money. The tontine money is about to be buried when they grab it and run off. The box bursts open, and money is blown around the cemetery. Joseph pops up from the open grave just as Masterman arrives. The lawyer arrives to say the tontine has yet to be won. The police detective arrives, and Morris is arrested. They ask who put the body in the piano, as there is a £1000 reward for catching the Bournemouth Strangler. A new argument ensues.

Helen Quilley is sacked from her public relations firm. As she leaves the office building, she drops an earring in the lift, and a man picks it up for her. She rushes downstairs to the London Underground, when a young girl slightly delays her, and the sliding doors shut before she can board the train. Time seems to rewind, and restart, but this time, the girl's mother pulls her child out of Helen's path downstairs, and Helen forces open the nearly closed sliding doors to board the train. Two different versions of Helen continue on with their lives, alternating between two diverging stories. Helen, who boards the train, sits beside James, the man who had picked up her earring in the lift, and they strike up a conversation that cheers her up. She gets home to catch her boyfriend, Gerry, in bed with his American ex-girlfriend, Lydia. Helen leaves him and moves in with her friend Anna. At Anna's suggestion, Helen cuts her hair short and dyes it blonde to make a fresh start. James befriends Helen and she begins to move on from Gerry as he cheers her up and encourages her to start her own small PR firm. They fall in love, despite her reservations about beginning another relationship so soon after her ugly breakup with Gerry. Eventually, Helen discovers that she is pregnant by James. She goes to see him at his office and is stunned to learn from James's secretary that he is married. Having discovered that Helen has learned he is married, James searches frantically for her before finding her on a bridge and explaining that while he is married, he is separated and will soon be divorced, and that he and his wife maintain the appearance of a happy marriage for the sake of his sick mother. After she and James reconcile and declare their love, Helen walks into the road and is hit by a van. Helen, who missed the train, is further delayed by an attempted mugging, which leads to a hospital visit where the cut to her forehead is treated. She arrives home after Lydia has left, and remains oblivious to Gerry's infidelity. Unable to find another PR position, she takes two part-time jobs to pay the bills to support Gerry, who is unemployed and struggling to finish his novel. Gerry continues to juggle the two women in his life, and Helen gradually becomes suspicious. She discovers she is pregnant but does not tell Gerry. Lydia soon realizes Gerry will never leave Helen for her and angrily breaks things off with him, to Gerry's relief. Lydia also realizes she is pregnant by Gerry and summons Helen under the guise of a job interview, but instead reveals the affair and her pregnancy to Helen. Distraught, Helen flees and falls down the stairs. In both timelines, Helen is taken to the hospital and loses her baby. Helen who boarded the train, succumbs to severe injuries and dies with James at her bedside, expressing his gratitude at meeting her on the train. Helen who missed the train recovers and tells Gerry to leave for good. James, who is visiting his mother, picks up Helen's dropped earring in the hospital lift, encouraging her to "Cheer up. You know what the Monty Python boys say..." (the same joke he told Helen in the other timeline), but this time, Helen preempts James, correctly quoting the punch line, " No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition." They turn and gaze at each other.

When a body is found hanging on top of the sign demarcating the Ontario – Quebec border, police officers from both Canadian provinces must join forces to solve the murder. David Bouchard is a rule-bending, francophone detective for the Sûreté du Québec, while Martin Ward is a by-the-book anglophone Ontario Provincial Police detective. The bilingual detectives must resolve their professional and cultural differences as well as their bigotry and prejudices. The body is identified as Benoit Brisset, a hockey executive. The clues lead the pair to Luc Therrien at a roadside bar. After a fight in the bar, they imprison him in the trunk of Bouchard's car. Bouchard has promised to watch his daughter Gabrielle's ballet recital, so he drives to the recital and parks the car in front with Therrien still locked in the trunk. When they emerge, they find the car being towed from the no-parking zone, and as they try to chase down the truck driver, the car explodes. With their prime witness dead, they decide to search Therrien's house where they find a large marijuana grow-op in the basement. They also discover another body, a former hockey team owner Grossbut. A laser tripwire is activated by Bouchard, a bomb explodes which sets the house on fire, destroying the house and causing the two cops to get high on the fumes of the burning marijuana. When they are disciplined by Bouchard's police chief Roger Leboeuf shortly afterwards, he angrily removes them from the case after they start laughing hysterically because they're still high. The next victim is discovered in Toronto, the League's first woman agent Martina Flabcheeks. They realize that the killer has a pattern of tattooing his victims, with each tattoo providing a clue to the next murder victim. Each murder is in some way connected to major league hockey. (The film uses thinly disguised parodies of National Hockey League teams, owners and players, however, rather than the real league.) The pair anticipate the next victim Pickleton, but he goes missing before they reach him. Ward and Bouchard appear on a hockey broadcast to warn people in the hockey community to be vigilant. The "Tattoo Killer" calls in to the show and threatens the two police officers, causing a brawl between them and the neurotic anchor Tom Berry when they attempt to hang up. Ward is attacked in his home by a masked assailant whom he discovers is Therrien. Meanwhile, Bouchard has sex with Ward's sister Iris. The "Tattoo Killer" kidnaps Gabrielle in exchange of the League commissioner Harry Buttman, leading to the final confrontation with the two policemen by indeed kidnapped Buttman. It is ultimately revealed that the murders are being committed by a bilingual portly hockey fan, as previously mentioned, under the direction and unequal partnership of a sadistic, psychopathic, sociopathic, fan of the notion of the game of hockey as a Canadian nationalistic symbol that he feels is being permanently corrupted by attempts to move ownership of Canadian teams to venture capitalist groups in the United States. He is therefore having Therrien commit the murders along with him (with the tattoos as a signature), as revenge against the hockey league for desecrating the game by moving Canadian teams such as the "Quebec Fleur de Lys" (a reference to the now-defunct Quebec Nordiques) to the United States. They try to reason with him that hockey is just a game and exchange Therrien who the detectives intercepted tailing them at a conference, for Gabrielle, but this only angers him. The Tattoo Killer executes Therrien and as the two policemen give him Buttman, Ward distracts the man while Bouchard unties Gabrielle. After a fight, the killer is blown up by one of his own explosives that Ward put in his pocket. During the credits, a news report is shown, revealing that Buttman shall make a rule that no hockey teams will be moved.

Fifth Avenue socialite Ouisa Kittredge and her art dealer husband Flan are parents of "two at Harvard and a girl at Groton." However, the narrow world inhabited by the Kittredges and their public status as people interested in the arts make them easy prey for Paul. A skillful con-artist, Paul mysteriously appears at their door one night, injured and bleeding, claiming to be a close college friend of their Ivy League kids, as well as the son of Sidney Poitier. Ouisa and Flan are much impressed by Paul's fine taste, keen wit, articulate literary expositions and surprising culinary skill. His appealing facade fades as soon as the Kittredges put him up, lending him money and taking satisfaction in his praise for their posh lifestyle. Paul's scheme continues until, after he brings home a hustler, his actual indigence is revealed. The shocked Kittredges kick him out when it is revealed that they are but the most recent victims of the duplicity with which Paul has charmed his way into many upper-crust homes along the Upper East Side. Paul's schemes become anecdotes which are bantered about at their cocktail parties. In the end, Paul has a profound effect on the many individuals who encounter him, linking them in their shared experience.

In an unnamed large city with multiple daily newspapers, star reporter Hildebrand "Hildy" Johnson and his Morning Post editor, Walter Burns, hope to cash in on a big story involving an escaped convicted murderer, Earl Williams. Williams is scheduled to go to the gallows at 7 o'clock the following morning for an anarchist-related murder of a black policeman. Esteemed newspaperman Johnson is about to quit the journalism trade and is on his way to marry his sweetheart Peggy Grant and relocate to New York City where an advertising job awaits him. Not surprisingly, his unscrupulous boss Burns does not want him to quit. He wants Johnson to remain on his staff so he can cover the major news story for the Morning Post. Although he is an avowed anarchist, it is revealed that Williams is likely an innocent man who has been wrongly convicted of the policeman's murder due to rising anti-red sentiments in his city. Accordingly, Burns will do anything to make sure Johnson works on that angle of the story — including delaying his wedding trip. Hours before Williams' scheduled execution, while being interviewed by an Austrian alienist and reenacting the murder, Williams manages to escape custody with the help of Sheriff Pinky Hartman's gun which the inept lawman had carelessly loaned to the doctor. With the assistance of Johnson and Burns, the newspapermen hide the fleeing Williams in a rolltop desk in a room usually occupied by a bevy of newspaper reporters gathered to cover Williams' execution. Johnson's soon-to-be mother-in-law, Mrs. Grant, sees Johnson and Burns hide Williams in the desk. To silence her, Burns has some of his cronies roughly escort her out of the building. Sheriff Hartman and the mayor of the city get a missive from the governor. It is a reprieve for Williams. However, Williams' execution would be a political boon for the two men in an upcoming election, so they refuse to accept it. Instead, they send the messenger away with a bribe and the address of a house of ill repute. Johnson's future mother-in-law eventually returns to the press room and Williams is found in the desk. The reporters all rush to call bulletins into their editors, each with widely varying and greatly exaggerated details about how the fugitive Williams was re-arrested. Johnson and Burns are about to be arrested by Sheriff Hartman for aiding a fleeing criminal and kidnapping Mrs. Grant when the messenger from the governor reappears. Saying he is happily married and his conscience cannot let him accept the bribe, he tells the reporters about the politicians' refusal to accept the governor's pardon for Williams. The politicians quickly agree to drop their charges against the reporters in exchange for them not mentioning their own wrongdoings in the newspapers. Despite offers of a promotion at the Morning Post from Burns, Johnson says he is retiring from the newspaper business to go on his wedding trip. Burns seems to accept Johnson's career decision gracefully, even giving Johnson his prized gold watch as a thank-you gift for his services as a star reporter for the Morning Post. However, moments after Johnson and Mary depart for the railroad station, Burns arranges for the police to arrest Johnson at the train's first stop on the pretense that Johnson has stolen his watch.

About 10,000 years ago, peaceful aliens from the planet Antarea established an outpost on Earth, on Atlantis. When Atlantis sank, 20 aliens were left behind, kept alive in rock-like cocoons at the bottom of the ocean. A group of Antareans have returned to collect them. Disguising themselves as humans, they rent a house with a swimming pool and charge the water with "life force" to give the cocooned Antareans energy to survive the trip home. They charter a boat, the Manta III, from a local captain named Jack, who helps them retrieve the cocoons. Jack spies on Kitty, a beautiful woman from the team who chartered his boat, while she undresses in her cabin, and discovers that she is an alien. After the aliens reveal themselves to him and explain what is going on, he decides to help them. Next door to the house the Antareans are renting is a retirement home. Three of its residents—Ben, Arthur, and Joe—often trespass to swim in the pool. They absorb some of the life force, making them feel younger and stronger. Caught in the act, they are permitted to use the pool by the Antarean leader, Walter, on the condition that they do not touch the cocoons or tell anybody else about it. Kitty and Jack grow closer and decide to have sex in the pool. Since she cannot do so in the human manner, she introduces him to the Antarean equivalent, in which she shares her life force energy with him. The other retirement home residents become suspicious after witnessing Mary, Ben's wife, climb a tree. Their friend Bernie mindlessly reveals the secret to the other residents, who rush to the pool to swim. When Walter finds them damaging one of the cocoons, he ejects them from the property. The Antareans open the damaged cocoon, and the creature inside shares his last moments with Walter. That evening, Bernie finds that his wife Rose has stopped breathing and carries her body to the pool to heal her, only to be informed by Walter that the pool no longer works due to the other residents draining the life force in the rush to make themselves young. Walter explains that the cocoons cannot survive the trip back to Antarea but will be able to survive on Earth. With the help of Jack, Ben, Arthur, and Joe, the Antareans return the cocoons to the sea. The Antareans offer to take residents of the retirement home to Antarea, where they will never grow older and never die. Most of them accept the offer, but Bernie chooses to remain on Earth. Upon leaving, Ben tells his grandson David that he and Mary are leaving for good. As the residents are leaving, David's mother, Susan, finds out about their destination and drives to the retirement home, where they find the majority of the rooms vacant and contact local authorities. While the police are searching for the residents in the dark, David notices Jack's boat being started, with the Antareans and the retirement residents aboard. He runs toward it, and as the Manta III pulls away from the dock, leaps across the gap, clings to its side, and is pulled aboard by Ben. The boat is chased by the Coast Guard, so David says goodbye to Ben and Mary before jumping into the sea. The Coast Guard boats stop to pick him up, giving the others a chance to get away. A thick, mysterious fog appears suddenly, stranding the Coast Guard boats and causing the Manta III to disappear from their radar, so they call off the chase. As the Antarean ship appears overhead, Walter pays Jack for his services and his boat. Jack embraces Kitty for the last time, and they kiss. He then says farewell to everyone before jumping into an inflatable life raft as the Manta III rises into the Antarean vessel. Jack watches as it disappears inside the ship and departs. Back on land, a memorial service is held on a beach for the missing residents. During the sermon, David looks toward the sky and smiles.

Peter LaFleur is the owner of Average Joe's, a small, dilapidated and understaffed gym. When he defaults on the gym's mortgage, his cocky and vindictive business rival White Goodman, who owns the high-end Globo Gym across the street, purchases it. Unless Peter can raise $50,000 in 30 days, Goodman will foreclose on and demolish Average Joe's to build a new auxiliary parking structure for his members. Goodman attempts to seduce attorney Kate Veatch, who is handling his account; disgusted, she cites conflict of interest (COI) to rebuff his disturbing advances. Peter, gym employees Dwight Baumgarten and Owen Dittman, and members Steve "The Pirate" Cowan, Justin Redman and Gordon Pibb, all decide to raise the required money. After an impromptu car wash suggested by Owen fails, Gordon suggests entering a dodgeball tournament in Las Vegas with a $50,000 grand prize. Justin obtains a 1950s-era training film for the group featuring Irish-American dodgeball legend Patches O'Houlihan. A Girl Scout Troop easily defeats them at the sub-regional qualifiers the following day, but are disqualified due to one member failing a drug test, resulting in Average Joe's winning by default. Having spied on Average Joe's using a hidden camera in a cutout of himself, Goodman forms his own dodgeball team, the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, and surprises Gordon by revealing he bypassed the mandatory qualification match due to his friendship with the chancellor. After watching their confrontation, Patches, now elderly and using a wheelchair, approaches Peter, volunteering to coach the team. Patches' unusual training regimen involves having them dodge wrenches, oncoming cars, and his constant insults. Kate demonstrates her skills at the sport but declines to join the team, citing COI. Goodman arrives at Kate's house uninvited and reveals that he misled her boss about her stealing and drinking on the job, thus getting her fired from her law firm and freeing him to date her. Instead, she rejects Goodman and joins the Average Joe's team. Despite early setbacks, the team advances to the final round against Globo Gym. The night before the match, a falling sign in the casino kills Patches. Returning to his room, Peter encounters an uninvited Goodman, who greedily offers him $100,000 for the deed to Average Joe's, claiming that Peter will inevitably cause its closure. Demoralized and anxious that the team will lose without Patches' motivation, Peter chastises Steve for his pirate behavior upon returning to the group, causing Steve's departure. On the day of the final, Justin assists his classmate and love interest Amber in a cheerleading competition after his rival Derek gets severely injured, leaving Average Joe's short of players. A brief encounter with Lance Armstrong restores Peter's morale, but he and Justin return too late; Average Joe's has already forfeited. After Gordon discovers that a majority of the judges can overturn the forfeiture, a tie-breaking vote from Chuck Norris reinstates the team. After an intense game, Peter and Goodman engage in a sudden-death match. Inspired by Patches' spirit, Peter blindfolds himself, evades Goodman's throw, and strikes him in the face, winning the championship and the prize money. Goodman deflatingly reveals that Peter sold the gym to him the previous night, but Peter explains he used Goodman's $100,000 to bet on Average Joe's victory; with the odds against them at 50 to 1, he collects $5 million. Peter then announces his intention to invest in the controlling stake of the publicly traded Globo Gym, allowing him to own it and its subsidiaries, which now include Average Joe's, and fire Goodman. Steve returns, appearing more normal, but reverts to his pirate persona when Peter reveals their winnings as "buried treasure". Joyce, a friend of Kate's who flew from Guam to witness the final match, arrives and kisses her passionately, shocking Peter; Kate then reveals her bisexuality and kisses Peter similarly. During the credits, Peter advertises youth dodgeball classes at a newly renovated and popular Average Joe's. Meanwhile, Goodman, now morbidly obese, is seen watching the commercial on television, blaming Norris for his plight.

Danny Morgan (Rhys Ifans) works as a concrete truck driver and construction worker who lives in Sydney with his girlfriend but is unhappy with his life. Danny yearns for the simple life while girlfriend Trudy (Justine Clarke) fantasizes about bright lights and fast times. Danny plans for their annual camping trip, but Trudy tells him she has to work, so the trip is off. In reality, Trudy is using her work connections at a local real estate agency to set up a meeting with a handsome local reporter, Sandy Upman (Rhys Muldoon). Danny sees them together while he is shopping for a weekend barbecue, leaving him even more disenchanted with their relationship. During the barbecue in his backyard, Danny, being an inventive character, ties a bunch of helium -filled balloons to his deckchair as his friends hold him down. When they inadvertently let go, Danny is set on an airborne adventure across Australia, which causes him to become a national sensation. As he floats over idyllically beautiful rural landscapes, totally foreign to the concrete structures of his discontent, he appears on the verge of some enlightenment. After he is beaten up in a rugged ride through a thunderstorm, fireworks from a small town's macadamia festival bursts most of his balloons and catches him on fire. Danny falls and crashes into a tree in Glenda's yard as the remnants of his chair float away. Glenda (Miranda Otto) is watching the fireworks from her porch, when Danny falls to the ground. As firemen and townsfolk arrive to investigate the fireball, they see Glenda helping a disheveled Danny. To cover for him, Glenda tells them that Danny is a professor from her college days and takes him into her house, which belonged to her parents. As she attends to Danny's injuries, the lonely Glenda, fascinated by the strapping Danny, does not press him about his past. Danny does not help matters by offering only vague explanations about his origins and unorthodox arrival in the town of Clarence. As Danny explores the town, Glenda's friends wonder about their past relationship, but they are quickly won over by Danny's whimsical ways. They are just happy to see that the withdrawn, and sometimes despised, traffic officer is with someone special. With his friendly, easy-going manner, Danny persuades Glenda to dress up and go with him to the harvest ball. She gives him some nice clothes (formerly her father's) to wear to the ball. As Danny looks in the mirror and sees himself in a new light, he shaves off his beard and trims his scraggly hair. At the ball and around town, Danny's mysterious past, detached demeanour and off-the-wall ideas make him an instant hit with the townsfolk. His ideas that were considered hair-brained in the big city seem fresh in the small town of Clarence, and "the professor" is hired to become the manager of an aspiring politician's campaign. As they spend time together at Glenda's house, Danny finds her father's old motorcycle, which for sentimental reasons Glenda keeps in the shed. After she shows Danny pictures of her parents on the motorcycle exploring the country, Danny fixes up the motorcycle while Glenda is at work. All the while, the big city media cannot get enough coverage of Danny's disappearance and the search for him, constantly broadcasting interviews of his friends, family and co-workers. Trudy revels in her new-found celebrity and takes up with Sandy, the reporter, who sees covering Danny's story and Trudy's suffering as a way to the top. Back in Clarence, Danny is forging a deep connection with Glenda. But their budding relationship is not viewed by everyone in town as all peaches-and-cream. Their flirtations arouse jealousy and suspicion in Glenda's supervisor, the town's police chief. While Glenda is doing her rounds, Danny surprises her by showing up with the working motorcycle and takes her for a wild ride. The police chief busts them for speeding, but nothing fazes Danny as he continues to immerse himself in his ideal world. He even goes so far as to give a stirring speech at a political rally, and he is asked by some of the townsfolk to run for office. All caught up in the dizzying events surrounding the political rally, Glenda and Danny spend the night together. He wakes reveling in his new soul-mate, gets dressed in a haze of happiness and steps outside onto Glenda's porch to greet the dawn of his perfect new life. However, local kids have found and reported the deck chair causing Danny's past to come crashing down upon him in a torrent of media frenzy. As a shocked Glenda emerges from her house to see what all the noise is about, she spots Danny running down the street with a crowd in hot pursuit. Just then, Trudy and Upman drop down in a news helicopter and land in the street in front of Glenda's yard, stopping Danny dead in his tracks. Trudy reclaims Danny amidst an explosion of camera flashes to take him back to Sydney, where she can bask in this new-found fame. She drags Danny into the helicopter and whisks him away with Danny's anguished face pressed against the window peering at Glenda. As his half-truths are uncovered in the stark light of media exposure, Glenda rails against Danny as he leaves. Although she is angry at being deceived by Danny, his departure brings Glenda to the stark realization that she has been deceiving herself as well. She finally admits to herself that her life is miserable and resigns from her dead-end traffic officer job. Meanwhile, unhappily plugged back into his old job and with Trudy trying to capitalize on his fame, the deep changes that Clarence made in Danny make city life all the more unbearable. Deeply miserable and stuck in a traffic jam with his cement truck, Danny abruptly ditches it and his job to walk home, He then confronts Trudy telling her that they are over and uses the connections his media storm has forged to get on a military plane to return to Clarence and win Glenda back. Back in Clarence, Glenda has finished packing up her motorcycle and is saying goodbye to her friends. Just then, Danny parachutes out of the plane over Clarence and crash-lands again in the tree in front of Glenda's house as she is starting to leave on her motorcycle. At first, Glenda appears excited to see Danny; but immediately she starts yelling that he cannot just drop in and everything will be all right. Glenda resolutely drives off before Danny can convince her how much he needs her and his new life in the town of Clarence. Dragging his parachute, Danny runs after her, shouting that he'll do whatever it takes to get back together. As she drives away, Danny's parachute cord gets caught on the back of the motorcycle and he is lifted into the air. Glenda glances into her mirror and notices Danny flying behind her and stops the bike. As he comes down, Danny and Glenda get entangled in the parachute, embrace and kiss. As the movie ends, Danny and Glenda, in their bathrobes, symbolically float upward in deck chairs as they talk about their future plans.