In the near future, a technology enabling time travel has been developed and is now in commercial use. A group of unaging (thanks to anti-aging pills, which have also been developed) Nazis conspires to alter the results of the Second World War by traveling back in time and supplying Adolf Hitler with a hydrogen bomb. To this end, they bribe the corrupt time machine pilot Karel, who agrees to assist them. On the day of the scheduled journey, Karel chokes on a breadroll and dies. His identical twin brother, Jan, cannot bring himself to tell Karel's fiancée Eva and begins to impersonate Karel. He is also later mistaken for Karel by the Nazis and stumbles along with their plot. Having been a designer of the rocket-ship time machine, he is able to pilot the ship and take them all back in time. When he realizes the nature of the Nazis' plans, Jan resolves to prevent their success. After triggering several paradoxes by travelling back and forth in time, he manages to defeat the Nazis and resolve the consequences of his twin's death.

The story begins in 1980s Moscow. Vladimir Mashkov (not to be confused with the Russian actor with the same name), aka Uncle Vova, a construction foreman, returns home to his apartment after a stressful day at work. His wife asks him to buy some groceries, so Vova goes out to the nearest store. Standing right in the city centre on Kalinin Prospekt (now New Arbat Avenue), is a barefoot man, dressed in a tattered coat, who appeals to passersby with a strange request: "Tell me the number of your planet in the Tentura? Or at least the number of your galaxy in the spiral?". Uncle Vova and a young Georgian student with a violin (The Violinist) stop and talk to the strange man. During a short conversation, the stranger shows them a teleportation device, which he calls a "device for moving in space". Uncle Vova decides to test the veracity of the stranger's story, and despite the stranger's warnings, presses a random button on the device. Suddenly, Uncle Vova and the Violinist find themselves transported to the planet "Pluke" in the "Kin-dza-dza" galaxy. The natives of the planet appear human, with deceptively primitive-looking technology and a barbaric culture, which satirically resembles that of humans. They are telepathic; the only spoken words normally used in their culture are "ku" (koo) and "kyu" (kyoo), the former stands for everything good, the latter being a swear word that stands for every bad thing. However, the Plukanians are able to quickly adapt to speaking and understanding Russian and Georgian. The society of Pluke is divided into two categories: "Chatlanians" and "Patsaks" ("пацак" is a backward spelling of "кацап", a derogatory term for Russians, or according to another opinion, from "пацан", "patsan" a young guy). The difference is ascertained only by means of a small handheld device, the "visator"; when pointed at a member of the Chatlanian group, an orange light on the device comes on; when pointed at a member of the Patsak group, a green light comes on. It is also noted that the social differences between Patsaks and Chatlanians are not constant: Pluke being a Chatlanian planet, Chatlanians are privileged, and a system of rituals must be followed by the Patsaks to show flattery; however, there are Patsak planets where Patsaks hold the upper hand and where Chatlanians are subservient. The "visator" shows that Uncle Vova and the Violinist are Patsaks. The only group allowed to use weapons ("tranklucators") and enforce their will are the "ecilopps" ("police" spelled backwards). Outside being a Patsak or Chatlanin, respect towards others is determined by the color of their pants; different shades require those of lower social standing to "ku" at them a predetermined number of times, displaying their submission. The nominal leader of the Plukanian society is Mr. P-Zh. Everyone does their best to display fervent worship to him and disrespect is severely punished. However, when encountered in person, P-Zh appears harmless and dumb. The fuel of Pluke is called "luts" and is made from water. All naturally present water has apparently been processed into luts, so drinking water is a valuable commodity (in fact, it can only be made from luts). A good deal of the plot is based on the fact that ordinary wooden matchsticks ("ketse") are considered to be extremely valuable on Pluke. Uncle Vova and the Violinist meet two locals, Uef and Bi, who at various points either help or abandon the Earthling duo in their quest to return to Earth, which at various times involves repairing Uef and Bi's ship or raiding P-Zh's private compound. Eventually, the man from the film's beginning returns Uncle Vova and the Violinist back in time to the very beginning of the film. As Uncle Vova heads outside, however, there is no man at the city center; furthermore, when he runs into the Violinist there, they do not recognize each other. Suddenly, a passing tractor with a flashing, orange light reminds them of the "ecilopps", and they both reflexively squat and say, "ku!", as it was required on Pluke. They immediately recognize each other. Uncle Vova, looking at the sky, hears the sound of a song performed by Uef and Bi.

In 1997, probationary secret agent Lee Unwin sacrifices himself during a mission in the Middle East to save his superior, Harry Hart. Feeling responsible for Lee's death, Harry gives Lee's young son, Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, a medal engraved with an emergency assistance number. Seventeen years later, Eggsy is arrested for stealing a car belonging to a friend of Eggsy's abusive stepfather, Dean. After calling the number, Harry arranges Eggy's release and violently confronts Dean and his gang. Harry later reveals to Eggsy that he is a member of Kingsman, a secret independent intelligence agency, and nominates Eggsy to join the agency to replace "Lancelot", an agent recently killed by the assassin Gazelle while trying to rescue climate change professor James Arnold from kidnappers. While Eggsy undergoes Kingsman training under the supervision of Kingsman technical support operative "Merlin", Harry interrogates James at Imperial College London after he is mysteriously returned unharmed by his kidnappers. When Harry attempts to question him, a microchip implanted in Arnold's neck explodes, killing him and putting Harry in a coma. The chip's signal is traced to billionaire philanthropist Richmond Valentine, who has recently distributed free SIM cards worldwide. Harry, after recovering from his coma, poses as a philanthropist to meet Valentine; Kingsman discover Valentine's close associates each have the same microchip implantation scar on their necks. Eggsy forms a friendship with fellow recruit Roxy and survives a series of demanding tests. Eventually, only Eggsy and Roxy remain among the candidates. However, Eggsy fails the final test because he refuses to shoot the puppy he was previously tasked to raise; Roxy becomes the new "Lancelot", and it is revealed that the gun's bullets were blanks. Meanwhile, Harry discovers Valentine's connection to a religious hate group and travels to their church in Kentucky. Valentine activates a signal within the SIM-cards, which cause everyone in the church to become uncontrollably violent. Harry is forced to fight his way through the congregation and is the sole survivor, but Valentine later shoots him. Back at Kingsman headquarters, Eggsy discovers that the agency's leader, Chester "Arthur" King, has a microchip implementation scar: Arthur reveals that the SIM-card signal will be launched to trigger global violence to drastically reduce the human population in order to combat climate change. Wealthy supporters and selected world leaders have been implanted with protective chips, and dissenters, including Crown Princess Tilde of Sweden, being imprisoned in Valentine's bunker. Eggsy leads Arthur to poison himself, and joins Merlin and Roxy to stop Valentine. Roxy destroys one of Valentine's satellites, and Eggsy poses as Arthur to infiltrate Valentine's bunker. He is soon discovered by failed Kingsman recruit Charlie Hesketh; Valentine secures a satellite replacement and launches the signal. As global chaos erupts, Eggsy kills Gazelle while Merlin activates a failsafe in the implanted chips, causing the heads of Valentine's allies to explode; Eggsy then kills Valentine with one of Gazelle's prosthetic blades, ending the signal. In a mid-credits scene, Eggsy, the new "Galahad", offers his mother and younger half-sister a new home while he confronts Dean and his gang.

In 1939, in Fascist Italy, young Italian Jew Guido Orefice arrives to work in Arezzo, Tuscany, with his uncle Eliseo in a hotel restaurant. He is comical and sharp, and falls in love with the gentile girl Dora. Later, Guido sees her again in the city where she is a teacher and set to be engaged to Rodolfo, a rich but arrogant local government official with whom he regularly clashes. Guido sets up many "coincidental" incidents to show his interest in Dora. Eventually, Dora gives in to Guido's affection and promise. Guido steals her from her engagement party on Uncle Eliseo's horse, Robin Hood, humiliating Dora's fiancé and mother. They are later married, have a son, Giosuè, and run a bookstore. Dora's mother visits once, meeting her grandson. In 1944, at the height of World War II, Nazi Germany occupies Northern Italy. Guido, his uncle Eliseo, and Giosuè are arrested on Giosuè's birthday. They and many other Italian Jews are forced onto a train bound for a concentration camp. After confronting a guard about her husband and son and being told there is no mistake, Dora insists on boarding the train to stay with her family. However, as men and women are separated in the camp, Dora never sees her family during their internment. Guido pulls off various stunts, such as hijacking the camp's loudspeaker to send messages, symbolic or literal, to Dora to assure her that he and Giosuè are safe. Eliseo is murdered in a gas chamber shortly after their arrival. Giosuè narrowly avoids being gassed himself as he hates to bathe, and did not follow the other children when they had been ordered to "take a shower". Guido consistently hides the true situation from Giosuè. He convinces him that the camp is a complicated game in which he must perform the tasks given to him. Each task earns them points and whoever reaches one thousand points first wins a tank. He is told that if he cries, complains for his mother, or says that he is hungry, he will lose points, while quiet boys who hide from the guards earn extra points. Giosuè is at times reluctant to go along with the game, but Guido continually encourages him. One day, Guido takes advantage of the appearance of visiting German officers and their families to show Giosuè that other children are hiding as part of the game. Then he tricks a German nanny into thinking Giosuè is one of her charges to feed him while Guido serves the German officers. Giosuè must stay quiet at all times for this part of the game and simply follow the other children, as he cannot speak German. Giosuè is almost exposed as a prisoner when he accidentally says "thank you" in Italian to another server at dinner. However, when the server returns with his superior, Guido provides a ruse by teaching all of the German children how to say "thank you" in Italian, saving Giosuè. Guido maintains this story through the end when, in the chaos of shutting down the camp as the Allied forces approach, he tells his son to stay hidden until everybody has left, the final task in the competition before the promised tank is his. Guido goes to find Dora but is caught by a German soldier. An officer orders his execution, so he is led off by the soldier. As he is walking to his death, Guido passes by Giosuè one last time and winks, still in character and playing the game. Guido is then shot dead in an alleyway. The next morning, Giosuè emerges from hiding, just as a U.S. Army unit led by a Sherman tank arrives and the camp is liberated. An overjoyed Giosuè, unaware of his father's death, believes he won the tank, and an American soldier allows him to ride with him on it. Giosuè soon spots Dora in the procession leaving the camp and reunites with her. While the young Giosuè excitedly tells his mother about how he had won a tank, just as his father had promised, the movie's narrator reveals himself as the adult Giosuè, reminiscing on the sacrifices his father made for him.

In 2054, a "Precrime" pilot program is running in Washington, D.C. in the United States. Three clairvoyant people known as "precognitives" or "precogs" receive psychic visions about imminent homicides. Police detectives use information from the visions to apprehend would-be perpetrators before they can commit a crime. Those arrested are put into a coma and imprisoned indefinitely. Although Precrime has eliminated nearly all premeditated murders during its six-year existence, impulsive killings still occur, giving the police only a short time to act. Precrime chief John Anderton joined the program after his six-year-old son Sean was abducted and never found. He is addicted to a drug called neuroin, and his wife Lara has left him. Department of Justice agent Danny Witwer audits Precrime to uncover flaws. One of the precogs, Agatha, has a flashback of a woman drowning as Anderton watches. He learns from the prison warden that the intended victim, Anne Lively, went missing shortly after her murder was prevented; he also discovers that Agatha's vision of the crime is not on file. Soon afterward, the precogs predict that Anderton will kill a man named Leo Crow, whom he has never met. Anderton flees, prompting Witwer to begin a manhunt. Anderton visits Dr. Iris Hineman, a geneticist whose research led to the creation of Precrime. She explains that one precog occasionally sees a different future vision from the others, which is known as a "minority report". The minority reports are purged from the record to maintain the precogs' reputation of infallibility, so if Anderton has a minority report, he will have to find Agatha, the precog with the strongest precognitive abilities. After undergoing eye transplant surgery to evade retinal scanners, Anderton returns to Precrime. He kidnaps Agatha, which shuts down the group-mind generated by the three precogs. With the assistance of a hacker, Anderton searches Agatha's memories but fails to find a minority report for Crow's murder. However, he finds and downloads her memories of Lively's death. Pursued by Precrime officers, Anderton and Agatha track Crow to a hotel room and find photos of many children, including Sean. Anderton accuses Crow of killing Sean and nearly shoots him, but relents at the last moment to place him under arrest. Crow then claims he was hired to plant the photos, which were fake, and begs Anderton to kill him, saying that his family will be paid if he dies. When Anderton refuses, Crow kills himself in a manner similar to the precogs' vision of Anderton killing him. Witwer investigates Lively's case and finds clues suggesting that she was murdered. When he reports his findings to Lamar Burgess, the director of Precrime, Burgess kills him, knowing that the offline precogs cannot see his crime. Precrime officers locate Anderton at Lara's house and imprison him for murdering Crow and Witwer. While discussing Anderton's concerns about Lively with Burgess, Lara becomes suspicious of him. She breaks Anderton out of prison, which allows him to confront Burgess at a banquet celebrating the national launch of Precrime. Anderton reveals that Lively was Agatha's mother. She had given up custody of Agatha, but later tried to reclaim her. Desperate to preserve Precrime, Burgess hired a man to kill Lively, knowing that Precrime would intervene. After the murder was prevented, Burgess killed Lively himself in the predicted manner. The Precrime technicians, trained to disregard the second murder vision as an echo of the first one, deleted the record. Once Anderton began to investigate, Burgess arranged for Crow to pose as Sean's abductor to provoke Anderton to murder. The precogs predict that Burgess will kill Anderton at the banquet, but Burgess kills himself instead. Afterwards, Precrime is shut down and all the prisoners are pardoned and released. The precogs are moved to an undisclosed location to live in peace.

In 2004 Houston, Jack Harris leaves home with several million dollars in a duffel bag, to pay Russian mobsters. Harris is worried about the safety of his wife Diana and their children. Flashback to 1997 in Los Angeles, where Jack helps a sick friend managing a nightclub. Nearby, Wayne Beering and Buck Dolby are best friends renting together. The drug-addicted friends are watching porn movie reels when Wayne asks why there is no porn on the internet. Buck, a former NASA scientist, takes 15 minutes to create a program to allow online credit card transactions to charge people for looking at dirty pictures on their website. They quickly earn thousands of dollars. Needing more porn content they approach Nikita Sokoloff, a Russian mob boss who owns a local strip club; Sokoloff agrees to 25% of their business in return for letting them photograph and film his strippers. Within a month Buck and Wayne's website is hugely successful. They party in Las Vegas while neglecting payments to Sokoloff. Jack has made the LA nightclub a success and attracts the attention of Jerry Haggerty, a crooked lawyer hired by Wayne and Buck to sort out their problem with Sokoloff. Jack meets the friends and becomes a partner in the business, paying Haggerty $200,000 to get out, knowing Haggerty is under federal indictment and thus a threat to the business. Sokoloff's nephew comes to collect his $400,000 profit, but when he threatens to kill Jack's family, one of Jack's body guards punches him so hard that he falls dead. Jack and his partners dump the body in the ocean and fabricate a story that Sokoloff's nephew took the money and ran. Sokoloff is skeptical, but agrees to let it pass in return for an increase to 50% of the partnership. Jack expands the business by dropping their porn site and focusing on the online credit card billing services. They create a billing company called "24/7 billing.com", becoming the titular Middle Men for other internet-based porn providers. The billing business is making hundreds of millions of dollars within a year. Jack becomes addicted to the money, sex and power of his new L.A. lifestyle, spends little time with his Houston family and starts a relationship with porn star Audrey Dawns. Haggerty, bitter that Jack cut him out of a multimillion dollar partnership, schemes to take over the company. He easily manipulates the foolish Wayne and Buck to work with Denny Z, providing billing services for Denny's numerous child pornography websites. Audrey's live stream porn site is watched by an international web of terrorists, which the US Government uses to track and arrest or kill the terrorists. The FBI asks for Jack and Audrey's help to expand their terrorist hunt, but Wayne and Buck fear that Jack is meeting with the FBI to turn them in for the murder of Sokoloff's nephew and the child porn. The two confide in Haggerty about killing Sokoloff's nephew, which Haggerty uses to incite Sokoloff to make a move on Jack. Jack's life is further complicated when Sokoloff's men kidnap his maid's son, who they believe is Jack's son. Jack gathers up several million dollars and goes to meet Sokoloff, as seen at the start of the film. Jack is told that the boy will be released if he signs a contract giving his partnership share to Wayne, Buck, Sokoloff, and Haggerty. Jack signs the agreement but backdates it to before Denny Z's child porn business was added. Sokoloff shoots Haggerty dead but lets Jack go as thanks for all the money he has made him. Jack's FBI friend charges Sokoloff, Wayne and Buck with providing billing services for child porn. They turn states evidence against Denny Z for a reduced sentence. Sokoloff flees the country and is alleged to be in Moscow. Jack and the maid's son return home, where Diane welcomes Jack back into their family.

Carter Hayes and Ann Miller are suddenly attacked and beaten by two men. After the men have gone, Hayes calmly tells Ann, "The worst part's over now...." In San Francisco, couple Drake Goodman and Patty Palmer purchase a 19th-century Victorian house in the exclusive Pacific Heights neighborhood. They rent one of the building's two first-floor apartments to the Watanabes, a kindly Japanese couple. Soon after, Hayes visits to view the remaining vacant unit, driving an expensive 1987 Porsche 911 and carrying large amounts of cash, but is reluctant to undergo a credit check. He convinces Drake to waive the credit check in exchange for a list of references and an upfront payment of the first six months' rent, to be paid by wire transfer. Before any of this money is paid, however, Hayes arrives unannounced and shuts himself in the apartment. As the days pass, Hayes' promised wire transfer fails to materialize. From inside the apartment, sounds of loud hammering and drilling are heard at all hours of the day and night; however, the door is seldom answered. When Drake finally attempts to enter Hayes' apartment, he finds that the locks have been changed. Drake cuts the electricity and heat to the apartment, but Hayes summons the police, who side with Hayes and reprimand Drake. Drake and Patty hire a lawyer, Stephanie MacDonald; however, the eviction case is thwarted by Drake's actions. Hayes, safe from eviction for the time being, infests the house with cockroaches, which prompts the Watanabes to move out and pushes Drake and Patty further into debt. The stress takes its toll on the couple; Drake drinks heavily and Patty suffers a miscarriage. Hayes visits the couple, supposedly to offer his condolences, but an infuriated Drake attacks him and is arrested by the police, whom Hayes had already called to the scene in anticipation of an assault. The assault allows Hayes to file a civil lawsuit against Drake and, unbeknownst to the couple, assume control of Drake's possessions and identity. Hayes also files a restraining order, which forces Drake from the building. Once Drake is gone, Hayes begins stalking and harassing Patty. When Drake tries to enter the home to check on Patty, Hayes confronts Drake and shoots him, then plants a crowbar at the scene to prevent any criminal charges. While Drake is in the hospital, the eviction is finally handed down and authorities force entry into Hayes' apartment. By this time, however, Hayes has disappeared, and the apartment has been destroyed and stripped bare. Later, while cleaning out the destroyed apartment, Patty finds an old photograph of Hayes as a young boy. Written on the back is the name "James Danforth". She phones Bennett Fidlow, the Texas attorney whom Danforth had provided as a reference. Fidlow tells her that Danforth has a long history of wrongdoing and has been disowned by his family. Patty travels to Danforth's last-known address, a condominium in Desert Spring. There she finds Ann, his girlfriend and previous co-conspirator who had earlier come looking for him in San Francisco. Ann tells Patty that Carter Hayes is the name of the property's former landlord, and that Danforth assumed Hayes' identity and took possession of the condominium after (the genuine) Hayes hired two thugs to carry out the assault on Hayes and Miller. Ann also shows Patty a postcard from Danforth, written on the letterhead of a hotel in Century City, which had just arrived the day before. Patty tracks Danforth at the hotel, where he has checked in under Drake's name. Patty bluffs her way into his suite by posing as his wife, and while rummaging through his personal effects discovers he is using legal and financial documents in Drake's name. She calls Drake and tells him to cancel all of his credit cards and freeze the couple's joint bank account. She then places an exorbitant order for room service, which leads to Danforth being arrested. Danforth is bailed out of prison by a wealthy widow, Florence Peters, whom he was vetting to be his next victim. Once out on bail, Danforth returns to San Francisco to seek revenge on Patty and Drake, unwilling to accept responsibility for his actions and blaming them for his desires being ruined forever. Upstairs, he bludgeons Drake with a golf club, then attacks Patty in the downstairs apartment where she is busy making repairs. A struggle ensues, and a badly wounded Drake makes his way into the crawl space between the basement and the first-floor apartment. He reaches through a hole in the floor and grabs Danforth by the ankle while Patty pushes him away, causing Danforth to lose his balance and fall backward, landing on a water supply line and getting impaled in the process; a wounded Danforth desperately tries to escape, but is unable to and ultimately dies of his injury. Some time later, Patty and Drake have put their newly repaired building up for sale and show the property to another couple. The story ends with the couple having a private discussion about making an offer of $825,000-$850,000, which is $75,000-$100,000 more than what Drake and Patty had originally paid for it.

Preppy pre-freshman (pre- frosh) Tom Lawrence visits Port Chester University (PCU), a college where fraternities have been outlawed and political correctness is rampant. During his visit, accident-prone Tom makes enemies with nearly every group of students, and thus spends much of his visit evading the growing mob after him. During his visit, Tom finds himself in the middle of a war between "The Pit" and "Balls and Shaft", two rival groups. Among the members of the latter is Rand McPherson, who, with the other Balls and Shaft members, want the outlawed Greek system to return. Meanwhile, "The Pit" runs the former "Balls and Shaft" frat house in a highly disorganized manner. Inhabited by seniors Gutter and Mullaney, mid-year freshman co-ed Katy, and led by multi-year senior James "Droz" Andrews, The Pit is a party-centric house that rebels against politically correct protests; their counter-protests and parties are a frequent source of complaint forms. Other factions on campus include a commune-style house of pot users called Jerrytown that Gutter frequents, a radical feminist group known as the Womynists, an Afrocentric group suspecting the Pit of conspiring against them, and the college president, Ms. Garcia-Thompson, who is obsessed with enforcing "sensitivity awareness" and multiculturalism to an extreme. She proposes that Bisexual Asian Studies should have its own building at the expense of funding for STEM facilities, as well as a plan to change the campus mascot to a whooping crane instead of an offensive Native American character during their bicentennial anniversary. Garcia-Thompson conspires behind closed doors with Balls and Shaft to get the established residents of The Pit kicked off campus and give Rand control of the house. She provokes The Pit residents with a damage bill from their past semester. Left unpaid, the campus would seize their house, leaving them homeless and unable to continue attending PCU without getting jobs. The Pit responds by throwing a party to raise the funds needed. The Womynists take offense to The Pit's flyers advertising the party and hold a protest outside as the house residents conspire to steal alcohol and convince students to attend. The party at first appears to be a failure. However, a series of unlikely events results in George Clinton and Parliament-Funkadelic performing at the party. Students begin streaming in (initially to seize Tom for his prior mistakes) and the party successfully raises the funds to keep the house. Garcia-Thompson (after being locked in a room by Droz with the song " Afternoon Delight " playing on repeat), decides to act on the many complaints against The Pit. She shuts down the party and expels the residents of The Pit in spite of their fundraising efforts. Tom then informs Droz about an overheard conversation with the Board of Trustees: the President's politically correct changes are negatively affecting both their past legacy and media publicity. At the bicentennial ceremony the following morning, Droz and former Pit residents succeed in liberating the Whooping Crane and provoking the other students into an impromptu protest against protesting (chanting "We're not gonna protest!"). The demonstration establishes that even with The Pit shut down, the President cannot control the student population, resulting in the Board of Trustees summarily firing her. Meanwhile, Rand goes on a rather sexist, racist and homophobic tirade about all the other student groups, unaware that Droz has surreptitiously used the podium microphone to broadcast his rant to the entire campus. Later, Tom heads home, having decided to commit to PCU as The Pit has moved back into their house. As he sits on the bus, he sees Rand, who is now in Tom's position at the beginning of the film: being chased by the students across campus.

In the Mojave Desert, a policeman pulls over a 1964 Chevrolet Malibu driven by J. Frank Parnell. The policeman opens the trunk, sees a blinding flash of white light, and instantly vaporizes, leaving only his boots behind. Otto Maddox, a young punk rocker in L.A., is fired from his job as a supermarket stock clerk. His girlfriend leaves him for his best friend. Depressed and broke, Otto is wandering the streets when a man named Bud drives up and offers him $25 to drive a car out of the neighborhood, supposedly for his wife. Otto follows Bud in the car to the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation, where he learns the car he drove was being repossessed. He refuses to join Bud as a "repo man" and goes to see his parents. After learning that his burned-out ex-hippie parents have donated the money they promised to reward him for graduating from college to a televangelist, he takes the repo job. After repossessing a flashy red Cadillac, Otto sees a woman named Leila running down the street. He gives her a ride to her workplace, the United Fruitcake Outlet. On the way, she shows him pictures of aliens that she says are in the trunk of a Chevy Malibu. She says they are dangerous due to the radiation they emit. Meanwhile, Helping Hand is offered a $20,000 bounty notice for the Malibu. Most assume that the repossession is drug-related because the bounty is far above the value of the car. Parnell arrives in L.A. driving the Malibu but cannot meet his waiting UFO compatriots because of a team of government agents led by a woman with a metal hand. When Parnell pulls into a gas station, Helping Hand's competitors, the Rodriguez brothers, take the Malibu. They stop for sodas because the car's trunk is hot. While they are out of the car, a trio of Otto's punk friends, who are on a crime spree, steal it. After visiting a nightclub, Parnell appears and tricks the punks into opening the trunk, killing one of them and scaring the other two away. Later, he picks up Otto and drives aimlessly before collapsing and dying from radiation. After surviving a convenience store shootout with the punks that leaves Bud wounded and punk Duke dead, Otto takes the Malibu back to Helping Hand and leaves it in the lot. The car is stolen again, and a chase ensues. By this time, the car is glowing bright green. Eventually, the Malibu reappears at the Helping Hand lot with Bud behind the wheel. The various groups (government agents, UFO scientists, and even the televangelist and his followers) trying to acquire the car converge on the lot, and Bud is shot by an agent in a helicopter. The glowing car resists anyone trying to approach it with arcs of electricity. Only Miller, an eccentric mechanic at Helping Hand who had explained earlier to Otto that aliens exist and can travel through time in their spaceships, can enter the car. He slides behind the wheel and beckons Otto to join him. After Otto settles into the passenger seat, the Malibu lifts straight into the air, and flies away through the city's skyline. Miller echoes Bud's line from earlier in the film: "The life of a repo man is ALWAYS intense", and the car catapults into outer space.

Charlie Babbitt is an arrogant collectibles dealer in the middle of importing four grey market Lamborghinis to Los Angeles for resale. He needs to deliver the cars to impatient buyers who have already made down payments to repay the loan he took out to buy them, but the EPA is holding the cars at the port because they have failed emission tests. Charlie directs his employee Lenny to lie to the buyers while he stalls his creditor Wyatt. When Charlie learns that his estranged father Sanford Babbitt has died, he and his girlfriend Susanna travel to Cincinnati to settle the estate. He inherits only a group of rosebushes and a classic 1949 Buick Roadmaster convertible over which he and Sanford had clashed, while the remainder of the $3 million estate is going to an unnamed trustee. He learns that the money is being directed to a local mental institution, where he meets his elder brother Raymond, of whom he was unaware. Raymond is an autistic savant and follows strict routines. He has superb recall, but he shows little emotional expression, except when in distress. Charlie spirits Raymond out of the mental institution and into a hotel for the night. Disheartened with the way Charlie treats Raymond, Susanna leaves him. Charlie asks Raymond's doctor, Dr. Gerald Bruner, for half the estate in exchange for Raymond's return but Dr. Bruner refuses. Charlie decides to attempt to gain custody of Raymond to get control of the money. After Raymond refuses to fly to Los Angeles, he and Charlie resort to driving there instead. They make slow progress because Raymond insists on following his routines, which include watching The People's Court on television every day, getting to bed by 11:00 p.m. and refusing to travel when it rains. He also objects to traveling on the Interstate after they encounter a car accident. During the course of the journey, Charlie learns more about Raymond, including his ability to instantly perform complex calculations and count hundreds of objects at once, far beyond the typical range of human abilities. He also realizes that Raymond had lived with the family as a child and was the "Rain Man" (Charlie's infantile pronunciation of "Raymond"), a comforting figure Charlie had remembered as an imaginary friend. Raymond had saved an infant Charlie from being scalded by hot bathwater one day, but Sanford blamed Raymond for nearly injuring Charlie and committed him to the institution, as he was unable to speak up for himself and correct the misunderstanding. Wyatt repossesses the Lamborghinis, forcing him to refund his buyers' down payments and leaving him deeply in debt. Having passed Las Vegas, he and Raymond return to Caesars Palace and devise a plan to win the needed money by playing blackjack and counting cards with Raymond's abilities. Although the casino bosses obtain videotape evidence of the scheme and ask them to leave, Charlie successfully wins $86,000 to cover his debts. He also reconciles with Susanna, who has rejoined the brothers in Las Vegas. Returning to Los Angeles, Charlie meets with Dr. Bruner, who offers him $250,000 to walk away from Raymond. Charlie refuses, saying he is no longer upset about being cut out of Sanford's will but he wants to have a relationship with Raymond. At a meeting with court-appointed psychiatrist Dr. Marston, Raymond proves to be unable to decide for himself what he wants. Charlie stops the questioning and tells Raymond he is happy to have him as his brother. As Raymond and Dr. Bruner board a train to return to the institution, Charlie promises to visit in two weeks.

High school student Mark Hunter lives in a sleepy suburb of Phoenix, Arizona, and broadcasts an FM pirate radio station from his parents' basement, which functions as his sole outlet for his teenage angst and aggression. The station's theme song is " Everybody Knows " by Leonard Cohen and there are glimpses of cassettes by alternative musicians such as The Jesus and Mary Chain, Camper Van Beethoven, Primal Scream, Soundgarden, Ice-T, Bad Brains, Concrete Blonde, Henry Rollins, and Pixies. By day, Mark is a loner who has difficulty socializing. By night, under the nom de plume Happy Harry Hard-on or simply "Hard Harry", he expounds outsider views about problems with American society, expresses teen angst, and exposes the underhanded actions of the faculty. His audience grows from a handful of loyal listeners to the entire student body. Depressed teenager Malcolm Kaiser writes to Harry seeking advice about committing suicide. Harry flippantly expresses disbelief that Malcolm is sincere, saying "Maybe you'll feel better tomorrow." The next day it is discovered that Malcolm committed suicide. Fellow student Nora De Niro deduces that Mark is Hard Harry, and attempts to assuage the guilt he feels over Malcolm. The radio show becomes increasingly popular after Harry apologizes to Malcolm for not telling him not to follow through, and exhorts his listeners to confront their problems instead of surrendering to them through suicide. At the climax of his speech, overachieving student and consistent listener Paige Woodward jams her medals and accolades into a microwave, causing an explosion which injures her face. Unrest at the school increases as students share bootleg tapes re-playing Harry's show. A meeting of faculty and parents concludes that the pirate DJ is responsible for the problems at the school. The police investigate, first cutting off Mark's access to his P.O. Box, and then cutting off the wireless phone that Mark had surreptitiously hooked up at a neighboring house. The FCC begins an investigation. Mark decides to make a final broadcast. He installs his radio station in his mother's Jeep, creating a mobile transmitter so the FCC will have difficulty triangulating the radio signal. Nora drives while Mark broadcasts pursued by the police and the FCC. Harry's broadcast is heard by the entire school who have gathered at the athletics field. Mark's father, school board commissioner Brian Hunter, confronts Principal Loretta Cresswood demanding to know why she systematically expelled students with low test scores. Cresswood insists they were losers and troublemakers and that she did it for the good of the school. Brian immediately suspends Cresswood. The harmonizer Mark uses to disguise his voice breaks, and Mark decides to broadcast his final message as himself. The Jeep drives up to the crowd of students, and Mark tells them that the world belongs to them and that they should make their own future. He encourages them to "steal the air" and begin their own shows to put their thoughts and feelings out into the world. The police arrest Mark and Nora. As they are taken away, students shout their appreciation of "Harry". Mark turns to the students and tells them to "Talk hard!" As the film ends, the voices of students, and even one of the teachers, are heard introducing their own pirate radio shows.

In 2032, American middle school teacher and former molecular biologist Ryland Grace wakes up from an induced coma on the interstellar spacecraft Hail Mary, suffering from amnesia. Grace learns that he is the sole survivor of a three-person crew that was traveling towards the Tau Ceti system, 11.9 light-years from Earth. In a series of flashbacks, Grace recalls that scientists discovered a "Petrova line" of infrared light stretching from the Sun to Venus; a substance in the line, dubbed "astrophage", was proliferating on the Sun's surface, dimming the Sun at a rate that would cause catastrophic global cooling within thirty years. The head of the Petrova Taskforce, Eva Stratt, recruited Grace to study the astrophage due to his background in speculative astrobiology. Grace discovered that astrophage was composed of unicellular organisms that absorb electromagnetic radiation from the Sun and expel it for propulsion. He also learned how to breed the astrophage on Earth. Grace joined Stratt's Project Hail Mary, an international "long-shot" mission to send a crewed spacecraft to Tau Ceti, the only star in Earth's solar neighborhood not occluded by astrophage. Grace helped to breed astrophage fuel for the ship, and planned the crew's research tasks. The flight to Tau Ceti would be a suicide mission, as the ship could only carry enough fuel for a one-way trip; any findings would have to return to Earth in smaller space probes. In the present, Grace encounters an alien spacecraft (" Blip-A ") that docks with the Hail Mary. It is made of a solid form of xenon, which Grace dubs xenonite. The ship's occupant is a rock-like, five-legged alien from Erid, a planet in the 40 Eridani A system. Grace names the alien "Rocky", deduces that Eridians "see" via echolocation, and creates a machine translation system to interpret Rocky's musical language. Rocky is a mechanical engineer, and the sole survivor of the Eridians' mission to save their own star from astrophage infection. Grace and Rocky agree to work together, and quickly become close friends. As neither can survive in the other's atmosphere, Rocky works aboard the Hail Mary inside a pressurized ball of xenonite. Grace and Rocky study the Petrova line of the planet Tau Ceti e, which Grace names "Adrian", and discover that the line hosts an entire microbial biosphere. Rocky theorizes that microbial organisms in Adrian's atmosphere are consuming the astrophage, keeping the population in check. Learning that Grace cannot return home, Rocky agrees to share some of his own ship's astrophage fuel with the Hail Mary. Grace remembers that an astrophage explosion killed the original crew's science officers; with no time to train replacements, Stratt asked Grace to join the suicide mission, but he fearfully refused. During a risky maneuver to gather the astrophage predator from Adrian's atmosphere, a fuel leak causes the Hail Mary to spin uncontrollably, rendering Grace unconscious. Rocky breaks out of his ball to save Grace, but is severely injured. While Rocky recovers, Grace studies the captured astrophage predator, dubbing it "taumoeba" and selectively breeding it to survive the nitrogen in Venus's atmosphere. Rocky revives, and the two celebrate their success; Grace then recalls that Stratt had him drugged and put aboard the ship, believing he was the only one capable of completing the mission. Rocky and Grace say their goodbyes and begin their journeys back home. Shortly thereafter, Grace discovers that the taumoeba has developed a way to escape its xenonite breeding tanks, and is starting to consume Hail Mary ' s astrophage fuel. Grace transfers the taumoeba to plastic containers, but realizes that, as Rocky's ship is made entirely of xenonite, he will have no way to contain the taumoeba on his ship; it will eat his fuel, stranding him and dooming Erid. Grace decides to rescue Rocky and the Eridians rather than return home, and sends his video logs and taumoeba samples to Earth via the probes. Stratt and her team use the taumoeba to cure the Sun's astrophage infection. Meanwhile, on Erid, Grace lives in an Earth-like biodome the Eridians have constructed for him. Rocky informs him that Eridian scientists are able to prepare the Hail Mary for a return to Earth. Grace ponders the news before beginning another day of teaching science to Eridian children.