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Team America: World Police

Team America, an international organization dedicated to counterterrorism, defeats a group of Islamic terrorists in Paris, but are very reckless and destroy the Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, and the Louvre in the process. The team includes Lisa, an idealistic psychologist; her love interest, Carson; Sarah, a psychic; Joe, a jock who is in love with Sarah; and Chris, a martial arts expert who harbours a grudge towards actors. Carson proposes to Lisa, but a terrorist kills him in the middle of the act.

Team America leader Spottswoode brings Broadway actor Gary Johnston to Team America's base in Mount Rushmore and asks him to use his acting skills to infiltrate a terrorist cell. Unbeknownst to the team, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il is supplying terrorists across the globe with WMDs. Gary infiltrates a terrorist group in Cairo. The team is discovered and a chase ensues, ending with Team America killing the terrorists. However, Cairo is left in ruins, drawing criticism and outrage from the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.), a union of progressive Hollywood actors led by Alec Baldwin.

At Mount Rushmore, Gary tells Lisa that as a child, his acting talent caused his older brother, Tommy, to be brutally killed by gorillas. While the two grow close and have sex, terrorists blow up the Panama Canal in retaliation for the Team America operation in Cairo, killing thousands. The F.A.G. blame this on Team America, while Kim chastises the terrorists for detonating one bomb too early. Gary, feeling his acting talents have again resulted in innocent people dying, resigns from Team America. The remaining members depart for the Middle East and North Africa, but are defeated and captured by North Korean forces while Michael Moore blows up Team America's base in a suicide attack. In North Korea, Kim invites the F.A.G. and world leaders to a peace ceremony, planning to detonate several bombs around the world while they are distracted.

Succumbing to depression, Gary is reminded of his responsibility by a rambling speech about "dicks, pussies and assholes" from a drunken tramp. Returning to the team's base, he finds Spottswoode has survived Moore's bombing. After regaining Spottswoode's trust by giving him a blowjob and undergoing one day of training, Gary goes to North Korea, where he uses his acting skills to infiltrate the base and free the team, although Lisa is held hostage by Kim. The team is confronted by the F.A.G. and kill most of their members in an ensuing fight. After Gary uses his acting skills to save Chris from Susan Sarandon, Chris confesses to Gary that the reason he dislikes actors is that he was raped by the cast of the musical Cats when he was 19 years old.

The team crashes the peace ceremony, and Gary goes on stage to deliver a recontextualized version of the tramp's speech, arguing that " dicks ", though criticized by " pussies ", are necessary to stop " assholes ", which convinces the world's leaders to unite. Kim betrays and kills Baldwin for being unable to counter Gary's argument, but he is kicked over a balcony by Lisa and impaled on a German delegate's Pickelhaube. Kim reveals his true form as an extraterrestrial cockroach and flees in a spaceship, vowing to return. Gary and Lisa happily begin a relationship and, in the end, the team reunites, preparing to fight the world's terrorists once again.